The end of 5th Grade. Headed off to middle school. 11 years old. Perfect handwriting.
Originally written on May 22, 1992:
For the Barnyard Boogie I was with Brendan. What is it, fate?Read Now
Originally written on May 25, 1992:
Jamie likes Steve. That’s something we have in common.Read Now
Originally written on May 26, 1992:
Does Steve like me? That is the main subject on my mind.Read Now
Originally written on May 27, 1992:
Tomorrow I have to find out who won the short story contest. I have great faith in The Famous Feline, but I don’t have much self-confidence.Read Now
Originally written on May 28, 1992:
Christy got mad because I sat with Carolyn at computers. Then we made up.Read Now
Originally written on May 31, 1992:
At least I got an A- on my math test.Read Now
Originally written on June 4, 1992:
It was like the wheel of life just dropped me off, the world had been revolving around me, or even I was just plain invisible.Read Now
Originally written on June 7, 1992:
Fifth grades been fun, but now it’s almost done. Boo hoo! Boo hoo! Boo hoo! Not!!!Read Now
Originally written on June 8, 1992:
I’ll be the only one in sixth grade without a phone.Read Now
Originally written on June 10, 1992:
Tonight we had our girl scout final ceromony. I got tons of badges and patches.Read Now
Originally written on June 14, 1992:
I AM A SIXTH GRADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Read Now
Originally written on June 15, 1992:
Maybe we’ll have to plan the party around my party instead of me planning my party around our party.Read Now
Originally written on June 16, 1992:
I just hope on a stack of Holy Bibles that I’m popular next year.Read Now
Originally written on June 22, 1992:
When I have my Senior Prom I’ll wear a turquoise taffeta dress that is tight til the waste.Read Now
Originally written on June 23, 1992:
I’m excited for sixth grade.Read Now
Originally written on June 27, 1992:
I’m turning 11. I’m a babysitter. I’m a flutist. I’m a 6th grader.Read Now
Originally written on June 28, 1992:
I am nervous about going to Pleasanton Middle School next year.Read Now
Originally written on July 1, 1992:
Next year maybe I’ll be popular. Maybe not. How come everything will have it’s pros and cons?Read Now
Originally written on July 2, 1992:
How come the boys are always staring at me during class?Read Now
Originally written on July 15, 1992:
One more strike and we’re out. Yep, ‘The Group’ stroke again. We have to take some action soon.Read Now
Originally written on August 4, 1992:
Happy Birthday Jennifer.Read Now
Originally written on August 5, 1992:
I h a v e t h e m o s t u n e n t h u s i a s t i c p a r e n t s i n t h e e n t i r e w o r l d.Read Now
Originally written on August 7, 1992:
I talked to Mom and Dad about my birthday party. Ana has to come.Read Now
Originally written on August 11, 1992:
Dad will not tell me whatRead Now
Originally written on August 15, 1992:
Only 23 days til school! I’m totally nervous. I can’t even write neatly.Read Now
Originally written on August 16, 1992:
It is nice to be 11.Read Now
Originally written on August 18, 1992:
How can I survive? I don’t even know what I’m going to wear. Oh God.Read Now
Originally written on August 19, 1992:
I go to Sea Ranch, come back, go to sleep, and go to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Read Now
Originally written on August 22, 1992:
Count Down 16Read Now
Originally written on August 20, 1992:
Nobody has voted for ‘A’, but I think Dad might. ‘A’ is very plain, but I like it.Read Now
Originally written on August 21, 1992:
My packet came today. It was nothing of interest.Read Now
Originally written on August 23, 1992:
Count down 15Read Now
Originally written on August 24, 1992:
Count Down 14Read Now
Originally written on August 27, 1992:
torquise jean shortsRead Now
Originally written on August 30, 1992:
I asked mom if I could shave today. Mom thought it was funny.Read Now
Originally written on December 1, 1992:
Yep, I started to swear.Read Now
Originally written on December 2, 1992:
I kick her. She punches me in the stomach. I should have hit her with my flute.Read Now
Originally written on January 4, 1992:
Today Mr. Aubel goes and tells us that they don’tRead Now
Originally written on January 24, 1993:
I pray that I get straight A’s. I will fall down dead if I don’t.Read Now
Originally written on April 5, 1993:
I’m pretty comfortable with guys. But still they tell me I’m blushing.Read Now
Originally written on April 19, 1993:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!Read Now
Originally written on April 20, 1993:
Todays topic is our group and why or why not they can’t go on a group outing to the mallRead Now
Originally written on April 22, 1993:
Guess what? I DON’T LIKE STEVE ANY MORERead Now
Originally written on May 19, 1993:
All of my feelings look stupid on paper.Read Now
Originally written on May 19, 1996:
I don’t know. 90210 was so sad. It seems like I’m living in their saga.Read Now
I assumed Amanda had told Steve who Andy liked. I pretended I didn’t notice and went back to drawing.Read Now
Originally written on May 26, 1993:
Alexis was being a bitch today! During Science she came up and said “I thought you were sitting with us?!” I shrugged and said, “Sorry.”Read Now
Originally written on May 27, 1996:
I wish Steve would ask me if I’d go out with Andy if he asked. I’d shrug and say “probably.”Read Now
Originally written on May 31, 1993:
Ok so me and Emily had a great time. We went on Vortex and that is THE BEST!!!!!!!!!Read Now
Originally written on June 1, 1993:
So I hate her and I will forever more. My life is HELL! It couldn’t get any worse! Fuck the world!!!Read Now
Originally written on June 2, 1993:
Someone stole my mechanical pencil!!!! Mom bought me a new one.Read Now
Originally written on June 5, 1993:
I forgive you BeckyRead Now
Originally written on June 10, 1993:
Alyssia said Andrew likes me. I’m thinking “Hey, why doesn’t he ask me out?”. I’d go out with him, I guess. Yeah, I would.Read Now
Originally written on June 3, 1993:
Dad got on my case for saying “sucks”. Oh well. Lord. (sigh)Read Now
Originally written on June 16, 1993:
Alexis is POed at us. At least at me. Not like I care or anything.Read Now
Originally written on June 19, 1993:
I did not want school to end. I am very upset. Now I don’t get to flirt and have fun.Read Now
Originally written on June 22, 1993:
I hate Andy. He used me. He deliberately led me to believe he liked me.Read Now
Originally written on June 23, 1993:
I’m sure she has her share of problems, like who should she eat lunch with today.Read Now
Originally written on June 29, 1993:
Looking back I see that even in fifth grad I was so young and inexperienced. Not that I’m experienced now, but…..I’m so different now.Read Now
Originally written on July 2, 1993:
What if he doesn’t like me? I mean I’d rather wait until he calls me and asks me out. If he would.Read Now
Originally written on July 3, 1993:
I will never forget you, BeckyRead Now
Originally written on July 5, 1993:
It’s so strange, cause I don’t know what it’s like to like someone.Read Now
Originally written on July 7, 1993:
When I was just about to sit down, Andy came up and looked me in the eyes. I looked straight back and sat down.Read Now
Originally written on July 16, 1993:
I’m glad that “paper is patient”. I pour all my secrets in this diary. Well almost all of them. I suppose there are still some.Read Now
Originally written on July 17, 1993:
Fuck! just got red pen on the same shirt as the blue!Read Now
Originally written on July 18, 1993:
I can tell you Mom and Dad weren’t too happy about my getting phone calls at midnight.Read Now
Originally written on July 27, 1993:
Today I returned from Colorado.Read Now
Originally written on July 30, 1993:
In three days I’m 12, and I HAVE A COLD SORE! It’s Hell!Read Now
Originally written on July 31, 1993:
I don’t like Andy anymore. Now I like Steve. Cool. He’s cute, popular. I was about to say he’s smart. Well he might be.Read Now
Originally written on August 1, 1993:
I wish Steve would call tonight. I wouldn’t mind. Even if he wakes me up!Read Now
Originally written on August 2, 1993:
In one hour I will be 12! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!Read Now
Originally written on August 3, 1993:
I keep wishing that Steve would give me a dedication on Wild 107.7.Read Now
Originally written on August 4, 1993:
I hate Sandy so much, and maybe now she will be nicer to me.Read Now
Originally written on August 8, 1993:
The party was great. I had the best time! So did everyone else.Read Now
Originally written on August 6, 1993:
Since Sandy likes Steve, it’ll be two for the price of one! I’ll get Steve and I’ll get back at Sandy.Read Now
Originally written on August 22, 1993:
I really like Steve. I’m confused.Read Now
Originally written on August 30, 1993:
Mom told her that I was going to get bras!!!! Judy didn’t make a big deal out of it though.Read Now
Originally written on September 1, 1993:
6 days till schoolRead Now
Originally written on September 7, 1993:
Tomorrow is the beginning of 7th grade. I’m not nervous.Read Now
Originally written on September 8, 1993:
I think I just felt someone’s gaze throughout the day.Read Now
Originally written on September 15, 1993:
Emily is sewing a doll to look like Ana. A small one. We can put pins in it like a voodoo doll.Read Now
Originally written on September 22, 1993:
Fuck Jessica and Christy!Read Now
Originally written on September 29, 1993:
I’ve liked him for about a week, but last night I made it official. I named a teddy bear after him.Read Now
Originally written on September 29, 1993:
I haven’t had my first kiss and Alyssia goes and kisses a friend?!!! I don’t know who to trust.Read Now
Originally written on October 8, 1993:
It was weird ‘cause I could feel his breath against my neck. I find myself wondering, if that’s what’s having a boyfriend is like.Read Now
Originally written on October 11, 1993:
I’m so confused. I really like Andrew C. Last year he liked me. Does he still? I hope he does.Read Now
Originally written on October 18, 1993:
I’m in LoveRead Now
Originally written on October 19, 1993:
I love to ice skate. It just lets me forget all of my problems.Read Now
Originally written on October 20, 1993:
He said “no!” Worse yet he said it with scorn!Read Now
Originally written on October 21, 1993:
Last night I had something like a mental breakdown. I was crying and my mom wasn’t someone I could talk to about it.Read Now
Originally written on October 23, 1993:
Now I don’t know who to like. Maybe I’ll like David M. He’s in my advisement class.Read Now
Originally written on October 27, 1993:
The day before yesterday Billy asked Kelly H. out and she said, “Kiss my ass!”Read Now
Originally written on October 28, 1993:
You will never believe what happened! I ran 3 laps w/out stopping!Read Now
Originally written on October 30, 1993:
Everyone in this cliche is always dancing w/ someone else in the cliche. It bothers me cause I want to be part of that cliche so bad I could die!Read Now
Originally written on November 2, 1993:
She said that I will probably discontinue our friendship because I’m more advanced.Read Now
Originally written on November 3, 1993:
I put on a pantyliner. I swear it feels like there’s a cow between your legs.Read Now
Originally written on November 4, 1993:
The relationship didn’t last long. He didn’t even know we were going out!Read Now
Originally written on October 5, 1993:
Why don’t I look in front of my nose and like someone I have something in common with?Read Now
Originally written on November 11, 1993:
She’s trying so hard to be friends w/ me almost to hard.Read Now
6th Grade. November 15, 1993 through May 19, 1994. 12 years old. No boobs.
Originally written on November 11, 1993:
I don’t know if I want to go to the Holiday Dance. It’s next month, but I don’t want it to turn out like the others. The others were to painful.Read Now
Originally written on November 16, 1993:
When I got Natalies invitation to her b-day party yesterday I was touched. I mean really touched. I was about to cry.Read Now
Originally written on November 17, 1993:
All this morning Alexis was probably telling people I was a major bitch.Read Now
Originally written on November 18, 1993:
Standing by the counter was the finest, cutest guy I have ever seen. His hair was dark brown and cut in an excellent mushroom cutRead Now
Originally written on November 22, 1993:
Last Fri Natalie said Alexis said, that she “didn’t want to be really good friends just okay friends.”Read Now
Originally written on November 24, 1993:
Nothing they could do to me is going to be as bad as what we’re going to do to them.Read Now
Originally written on November 25, 1993:
I’ve never been hugged by a guy.Read Now
Originally written on November 27, 1993:
I think she’s capable of doing anything when she’s that mad!Read Now
Originally written on November 28, 1993:
I’m doing it again. I like the guy I can’t have.Read Now
Originally written on November 29, 1993:
When I finished people clapped. I mean they actually clapped.Read Now
Originally written on December 2, 1993:
I don’t really hate Mrs. J. she’s just confused and doesn’t know what to do.Read Now
Originally written on December 7, 1993:
So, for the whole ride my knee and calf was touching his! It was so nerve-wreaking!Read Now
Originally written on December 8, 1993:
I geuss I’m having a sort of identity crisis.Read Now
Originally written on December 9, 1993:
I miss Becky. I always could count on her. She and I were always fighting but it never lasted.Read Now
Originally written on December 11, 1993:
She never dances w/ anyone outside the cliche! That, in my opinion, is even worse than never dancing at all.Read Now
Originally written on December 12, 1993:
It’s supposed to be a happy time. We got our tree today.Read Now
Originally written on December 13, 1993:
Why hasn’t she called to find out what happened at the dance?Read Now
Originally written on December 15, 1993:
Everything was so alike yet so different.Read Now
Originally written on December 20, 1993:
Grandma is coming in the morning. With her comes trouble.Read Now
Originally written on January 1, 1994:
For Xmas I got iceskates! and a walkman! and a few singles & the soundtrack to Free Willy.Read Now
Originally written on January 1, 1994:
A perfect day – but not a perfect ending. I feel like I’m about to cry.Read Now
Originally written on January 3, 1994:
If he knows me enough to insult me, he must know my name.Read Now
Originally written on January 6, 1994:
I have no idea what’s going on in Robbie’s head. Or in mine. I don’t know what to think or feel.Read Now
Originally written on January 13, 1994:
Because Erika knew I had lice she wouldn’t hug me, although I really needed that hug.Read Now
Originally written on January 14, 1994:
I just sat there. Silently watching as she robbed us of another thing. OUr family’s love, which is a lot of times all we have to go on.Read Now
Originally written on February 2, 1994:
Of course I was in HEAVEN! Well, not really I kissed him and he said it was lousy – but I still like him and that added to it.Read Now
Originally written on February 3, 1994:
He said “I’ll be when you [me] kissed him he had a boner and this thing when from 1cm to 2cm.” He demonstrated w/ his fingers.Read Now
Originally written on February 11, 1994:
It’s not like he’s going to judge me because of my bunnie skate guards.Read Now
Originally written on February 16, 1994:
MY WHOLE CONCEPT OF REALITY IS GONE!!!Read Now
Originally written on February 17, 1994:
My reality fell even deeper into a black hole.Read Now
Originally written on March 3, 1994:
In the middle a wave of depression came over me and I spent the rest of the night depressed because I don’t have a boyfriend.Read Now
Originally written on March 9, 1994:
Forgive me please but I couldn’t live w/o my feelings getting out in the open.Read Now
Originally written on March 24, 1994:
All today I was sooo nervous. I was dying of nervousness. But finally I came to the skating rink to get it all over with.Read Now
Originally written on March 26, 1994:
I can just imagine telling someone, “And then I’m off to the Nationals in _______”Read Now
Originally written on March 28, 1994:
The problem is, is there’s this empty place inside me because I don’t even have anyone to like.Read Now
Originally written on April 12, 1994:
Somehow, the subject of my kissing Robbie was brought up again! Jeeeeeeeeeeez!Read Now
Originally written on April 17, 1994:
It was at Natalie’s and I was high the entire time. High on what is the question! Probably sugar!Read Now
Originally written on April 18, 1994:
ADVICE: Don’t over do it on the head-banging! And the DANCING!Read Now
Originally written on April 19, 1994:
I don’t think I’ll head-bang quite as much!Read Now
Originally written on April 21, 1994:
I called Wild 107 trying to get tickets to see All-4-One during one of the payoffs.Read Now
Originally written on April 23, 1994:
I want to go out w/ someone so I can hug someone. Kiss someone… You know what’s really sad? I’ve kissed a guy and I’ve never hugged anyone.Read Now
Originally written on March 24, 1994:
Emily said that guys are like ice-cream.Read Now
Originally written on April 25, 1994:
History 5° — Cassie writes me a note informing me that I’m going out w/ Robbie.Read Now
Originally written on April 26, 1994:
I wanted to run the track to just run away form my problems.Read Now
Originally written on April 27, 1994:
Jeff said he would fax me something. He asked what he should fax me and Alexis replied, “a love letter!’ Jeff came back with “I would but now she’s got a boyfriend!”Read Now
Originally written on May 5, 1994:
Yes, Mom took me bra shopping on Tues! It was the most hellish day in my life!Read Now
Originally written on May 6, 1994:
I just danced – smiling on the outside and crying on the inside!Read Now
Originally written on May 11, 1994:
I’ll try out for cheerleading but I will make it only when people can land on Pluto!Read Now
Originally written on May 17, 1994:
Oh, well! Life goes on! I still hope I make it! Chow!Read Now
Originally written on May 18, 1994:
During the break between 7th and 8th period Ana greeted Natalie with “Hi bitch!”!!!!!!! Ana is an insensitive bitch!Read Now
Originally written on May 19, 1994:
In my mind I see myself with guys falling all over me. In reality it seems that guys are falling all over themselves to get away from me!Read Now
Seventh grade. No boyfriend. Regrettably. Daydreaming of Olympic stardom. Also regrettably.
Originally written on May 23, 1994:
I keep hoping that some new guy will come tomorrow and I’ll immediately love him and he’ll immediately love me- time won’t exist only our love will exist.Read Now
Originally written on May 26, 1994:
It was so NIFTY! That’s our new word! Boy am I tired.Read Now
Originally written on June 1, 1994:
So far there is only one cuss word in it and hell’s a place not a thing.Read Now
Originally written on June 12, 1994:
School’s cool. I get to see all my friends and I get to socialize. I don’t even mind the tests.Read Now
Originally written on June 13, 1994:
Good news: I came in SECOND! Bad news: There were only two people in my league!Read Now
Originally written on June 14, 1994:
Doug was looking at me in a weird way at the beginning. I’m starting to feel accepted.Read Now
Originally written on June 15, 1994:
“Jennifer, Thanks for the great year but you didn’t have to kiss me in front of everyone that day.” – RobRead Now
Originally written on June 16, 1994:
You know. It’s been my goal awhile, to be in the happy group.Read Now
Originally written on June 20, 1994:
I am an 8th Grader!Read Now
Originally written on June 21, 1994:
Maybe I should just become lesbian and ditch the male sex.Read Now
Originally written on June 22, 1994:
Natalie said that there’s nothing wrong w/ me it’s just that the guys mature slower than us.Read Now
Originally written on June 23, 1994:
I’ve never really had to make conversation alone with a guy. On the Ferris wheel will be a first.Read Now
Originally written on June 24, 1994:
“And how high can you fly with broken wings?”Read Now
Originally written on June 26, 1994:
How am I going to keep conversation going on the ferris wheel? Help!Read Now
Originally written on June 27, 1994:
Because it drove Dave nutso, Natalie and I screamed at every single ride–no matter how stupid it was.Read Now
Originally written on June 28, 1994:
I keep wishing that the phone would ring.Read Now
Originally written on June 29, 1994:
I can’t count my chickens before they’re hatched, so nothing’s certain.Read Now
Originally written on June 30, 1994:
Anyway all morning I was really nervous. But everything turned out OK.Read Now
Originally written on July 1, 1994:
I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for ice-skating.Read Now
Originally written on July 3, 1994:
Anyway last night, Dave called. I broke out in a sweat after he said who it was.Read Now
Originally written on July 6, 1994:
I exell in art. Drama’s different.Read Now
Originally written on July 9, 1994:
My life just keeps getting worse and worse. The line of problems is a leaky faucet–it never stops leaking new problems!Read Now
Originally written on October 1, 1994:
I hope he saw the tears in my eyes. I hope he realizes they were threatening to fall because of himRead Now
Originally written on October 19, 1994:
I’ve come up with two conclusions from going: 1. Doug likes Natalie & 2. Jeff likes Katie. It was really obvious.Read Now
Originally written on November 1, 1994:
I used to be the one to have to say hi in English or to talk to him in Algebra. Now he’s talking to me.Read Now
Originally written on July 4, 1994:
Happy Independence Day!Read Now
Originally written on July 5, 1994:
Summer school’s cool.Read Now
Originally written on July 10, 1994:
My romance life? Non-existint.Read Now
Originally written on July 11, 1994:
Tomorrow, we’re all going to the movies — the Lion King!Read Now
Originally written on July 12, 1994:
Back to Dave, he ate almost all of my Sour Patch Kids! But I really don’t mind anything to bring us closer! I had a great time!Read Now
Originally written on July 13, 1994:
You know, I’m not going to pursue this setting up business any more.Read Now
No entries from Volume 5 yet. Stay tuned!
No entries from Volume 6 yet. Stay tuned!
Originally written on November 14, 1995:
But I guess that’s the way life is. Is that an epiphany?Read Now
No entries from Volume 8 yet. Stay tuned!
No entries from Volume 9 yet. Stay tuned!
Originally written on October 13, 1996:
If I die, I love everybody. I know I’ll die just not yet.Read Now
Originally written on October 28, 1996:
I feel desirable knowing that at least seven guys on the face of this earth find me somewhat attractive. Complete.Read Now
Originally written on November 7, 1996:
I found out I have a 3.8 for first quarter. Go me! That’ll really help me achieve my admission to CAL!Read Now
No entries from Volume 11 yet. Stay tuned!
No entries from Volume 12 yet. Stay tuned!
I recorded my pubescent thoughts and feelings in a series of 12 diaries beginning at age 10, a fifth grader on the verge of puberty and about to embark on her first adventure: middle school.
Seven years later, I graduated from high school. Everything in between…the young girl Girl Scout questioning life and pushing boundaries, wondering about drugs, shop lifting, sex…and never without the struggle with the demons inside all of us.
All of it is captured in these 12 diaries. Check out the index of all entries (with a little snippet) below.
