The Diary Project June 21 1994

Maybe I should just become lesbian and ditch the male sex.

Becky is coming! I’m so happy about that. Last night Doug asked Emily out. Today she said yes. I know I should be happy 4 her I’m just green-eyed I guess. I always thought that she’d be single. It never entered my mind that she’s go out out w/ someone before I did. I mean, oh I don’t know. This just makes me realize that guys don’t not like me because of my chest. Em’s practically flatter than me. (no offense to her). It must be my looks or my personality. I wish I knew. I’d change I swear I would. I wish I had a guy friend who could give me answers why don’t they like me? I really want to know what’s wrong w/ me. I want to go out w/ someone so bad! But it looks like it’s not about 2 happen. Maybe I should just become lesbian and ditch the male sex. Yeah right I have this poster of Aladdin w/ Jasmine on my wall. They’re flying on the majic carpet with the stars shining around them. I wish that would happen 2 me. I wish I’d find my ??????? and he’s whisk me away. He’d love me and we’d live together in a castle. All I want is 2 know that some guys out there like me. I know that Ricky asked me out but he’s liked every girl he knows. So has Tom. Except, to my knowledge, me. Why won’t he like me? If someone knows, TELL ME! I REALLY want to know. God, please let someone respectable like me and ask me out. Not some sixth grade geek or seventh grade wierdo. I wish there would be my ?????? and he’d like me. Where is he? What is wrong with me? Who ever is reading this tell me the truth. Don’t lie and say that I’m wonderful and that I just haven’t found the right guy. Don’t cover up the knowledge that you have. I won’t get angry with you.

Just tell me!

I’m begging u.

I want to know!

Whatchu think?

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