Forgive me please but I couldn’t live w/o my feelings getting out in the open.

I’ve really been missing Becky lately.  I don’t really have a best friend now.  I mean Emily’s supposed to be my best friend but lately it hasn’t felt like it. I wish I could write the truth in here, but I can’t.  Emily will read this.  But right now I can’t keep my feelings in.  So, Emily, don’t take offense by what I’m writing.  I have to get my feelings of my chest.

One thing that made Becky’s and mine friendship so strong was that we were always fighting.  We never had feelings to get off our chests and if we did, we could argue it out and no one would get offended.  But if I ever have a problem with Emily and I get mad, emily will get really, really upset and start crying then and there!  So, I can’t stay mad but am guilty. If she could hold her feelings in, it would be better.  What our friendship really needs is a good fight.  It’ll never work this way.

She’s to over something. She acts like a jealous boyfriend sometimes. To her if I happen to be talking to someone else, she’ll feel left out and start to pout.  Every 2° if I’m in a good mood, Emily’ll be in a bad mood and bring me down with her.  Excuse me, for being happy!  I swear if I’m happy and she’s not (which she never is) I have to stop being happy.  And there’s one thing she has to know: Alexis doesn’t like her! There, I wrote it! All the problems w/ her and Bio Science are because Alexis doesn’t like her!  She hast o know that!  I didn’t know how to tell her that but now, if she reads this she’ll know.

Every Mon. and Tues. Emily comes home w/ my carpool and my mom takes her home.  Her house isn’t that out of the way, but why should my mom take routine trips out of her way just for her?!!! There are people who live much, much closer who she could easily get rides with.  Take Erica!  She lives 2 blocks away! Erica could easily give Emily a ride home, but no, she has to inconvenience my mom and me by having us waste gasoline on her!  I know Elaine does a lot for me but my mom also takes Emily to ice skating once a week, a job she doesn’t particularly enjoy!

I hate to go on, but I must get the feelings off my chest.

Emily is way to sentimental. She’ll cry about anything. I’ll bet as she reads this she’s crying buckets.  if a bad thing happens in her block class, she’ll cry!  Maybe she should learn to take critisism more easily!

Today after a school we had a meeting of the Crazy Club.  Emily got pissed off because I suggested Christy L. join the club. Emily didn’t know Christy so Christy can’t join the club in Emily’s opinion!  I’m sorry but 4 out of 6 club members know Christy so why can’t she just meet her?  If you ask me it’s being greedy!  I don’t want to go on but this is stuff Emily must know!  She’s driving me bonkers!

One thing that bothers me is that another name for the Crazy Club is the Anti-Lindsay R. Club.  Emily thought it up.  She was taking for granted the fact that I don’t like Lindsay R. because she doesn’t like her.  I don’t mind Lindsay R.! Nobody consulted me about this name, I doubt half the CC members hate her!!!  I don’t want to have a club named after someone we hate!!! That to me, is sinking to the level of dirt!

Another thing that REALLY bugged me was some weekends ago, Alexis had a b-day party in which we went to the mall, shopping.  I came home w/ the single of End of the Road. Emily hadn’t known about the party since Lex doesn’t like her so she didn’t know about my new single.  I tried to call Emily about my victory, but she was on the other end giggling and laughing and wouldn’t listen to I hung up.  It’s always that way.  If something happens I don’t call her because I feel like I’m a nuisance when I call.  Her family members all know my voice and I don’t know.  I just don’t feel comfortable calling. And she won’t listen to my problems. She sites there relaying what I’m saying to her mom and having a grand old time laughing w/ her mom and completely ignoring me!

She’s always insulting Sara.  I’m sorry, but Sara just happens to be my distantly related sister!  I do not appreciate the stuff she says about my sister.  I can criticize my sister because I’m her sister!  She is not anywhere related to Sara so how is it her place to say what Sara’s faults are.  Do I do that to Emily’s brother no! All thought I wish I would. He bugs the hell out of me sometimes!

I guess now that some of this is on paper I feel better.  I’m sure Emily feels horrible though.  I’m sorry.  Forgive me please but I couldn’t live w/o my feelings getting out in the open.  I feel better now so I guess I’m finished.

Do you remember being super annoyed with your friends when you were 13?

4 thoughts on “Forgive me please but I couldn’t live w/o my feelings getting out in the open.

  1. That was so funny. I was in tears. I have to say, you sure had a lot of complaints back then. It’s pretty cool that you knew you had to get it off your chest but poor Emily was left to discover this diary entry! What a bombshell! I can’t wait to hear what happens with you and Emily.

  2. The worst part…

    I have every memory of writing this knowing that Emily was going to read it… how awful is that??

    But yes…sometimes you just have to get things off your chest. But maybe a piece of paper would have been a better vehicle!

  3. “Forgive me please but I couldn’t live w/o my feelings getting out in the open. I feel better now so I guess I’m finished.”

    This one was a hard one to publish.

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