In the middle a wave of depression came over me and I spent the rest of the night depressed because I don’t have a boyfriend.

Before we begin, I have to point out that the top left of the first page of this entry reads “Make Love Not War”…

…and the top right of the second page reads “Jessica and Christy SUCK!” Contradict yourself much, 12-year-old me?

Well, I haven’t written for awhile so I better catch up:

Thurs 2-24: Valentine’s dance.  In the middle a wave of depression came over me and I spent the rest of the night depressed because I don’t have a boyfriend.  That night I spent the night at Emily’s and we ate tons of ice cream.

Bad Night! (not at Em’s but at the dance)

There has been nothing else really major. Until Tuesday. (last Tuesday) Robbie and Kerry got back together !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I should find someone new.  But there is an upside.  Tom told Kerry that Robbie likes someone else as well as Kerry.  Robbie keeps denying it, which means it’s true.  Kerry says that if it’s true, she’ll dump Robbie.  That means he’ll be free, and what if the person is me!  I doubt it, but there’s a faint glimmer of light. But Robbie said this morning (according to Kristin) that he’d die for Kerry.  You do not know how depressing it is to see them holding hands!  But they don’t do that stuff as much as before so maybe they’re relationship is diminishing.  Besides, there’s a twist:

Tom really, really likes Kerry.  But now that Robbie and Kerry are back together, Tom’s and Robbie’s friendship is on very rough waters.  They’re always fighing.  Doesn’t Kerry see she’s breaking up they’re friendship?!!! I mean, they’ve been best buds since 2nd grade or some junk.  Kerry’s a bitch!

Alexis agrees.  Today in block, we were trying to correct our English and no one was paying attention!  Especially the group where Kerry and Lex sit.  Anyway, Mrs. Johnson got upset with them and sent Lex to sit somewhere else.  Alexis started crying!  Because Kerry was the one making the noise and Lex shouldn’t have gotten in trouble.  But then Mrs. Johnson started crying!  I swaear, her eyes were red.  I felt sooo bad!  I mean I wasn’t doing it, but to have a teacher cry!  It’s to crazy!

But what I can’t understand is why Lex cried.  I mean she acts like such a tomboy and so tough, but the littlest things will make her cry.  I swear!  But I guess she’s sensitive.

My dream —

After watching the Lillehammer Winder Olympics, I’ve decided that my dream is to be an ice dancer.  It was the Olympics. Tarvin and Dean, Bolero and my skating lessons that made my mind.  I just LOVE to ice skate!  But I don’t kno wif my dream to have an Olympic GOLD medal around my neck is possible.  Mom and Dad don’t have the money to pay for private lessons and besdies the next Olympics is in only 4 years.  I’ll be 16 by then, but will I be able to have found a partner?  Will I be representing the U.S. in China?  I wish!  Somehow my dream seems impossible right now.  But I am still young and I can go when I’m 20 if I don’t make it when I’m 16.  But, someday, I shall be there, skating.  And proving to Jessica that I’m not a “Tonya Harding wanna-be.” Providing to Christy that her little “impression” of me skating and falling down is all wrong.  Proving to Everyone that I can do.  My life can be whatever I wan tit to be! Now all I need is a partner…

I would also like to point out that 12-year-old me needed a giant dose of coordination as well if this dream was to come true…