Hmmm. Let’s see what’s been going on? Well I’ve been at school. I found out I have a 3.8 for first quarter. Go me! That’ll really help me achieve my admission to CAL! Monday night, at Mock Trial, I found out ti got a lawyer. I’m not sure which type yet, but I made it! And I’m pretty good! I was so proud- for once I wanted something, I actually went for it and I got it!!! I was really proud. I’m either Defense trial or Defense pretrial. I’d rather be pretrial, but either’s fine. I even enjoy the homework. And there is a lot of that!

Anyway, that’s my good news. Tuesday night (11/5) I called Katie to wish her a happy birthday. She wasn’t home so called me back last night. It was odd but I love her. She’s coming to visit in January. She’s bringing her Oregon friend Kristin. It will be odd, but oh well. I suppose I’m looking forward to it.

Yesterday, after school, Heather came over. We worked on Mock Trial and goofed off and then went to Mock Trial; fairly boring for me for I only was able to interview one witness. That’s alright. As soon as everyone has their parts we can start practicing. Wa hoo! I love Heather. We’re becoming pretty close. Especially since I’m not really speaking to Bryan.

Bryan is a Scorpio. I’ve since then learned to avoid Scorpios as much as possible.

Oh that. Didn’t you know? He told me that I’ve “changed” and I’m “pathetic.” That was Mon or Tues. I just kinda looked at him, turned around and stopped talking to him. If he talked to me, I’d speak to him, but I most certainly didn’t go out of my way to talk to him. Today it was a little better. We sat at the same table during the PLAN testing (boring–too easy) and talked some during History so then this evening I was in a really fabulous mood and I had no one to talk to so I called him, hoping to try to mend our friendship. Mike was over and I got bored so I hung up when he had another call. He called me back 1/2 hour later to tell me he was soory, but I was talking to Lisa who was pretty depressed so I didn’t talk to him. I was pretty cold to him, but you know I take a lot of crap from him and have never, ever dished it out, to him at least and I don’t have to put up with it. I have always cared so much about him and he has never cared back, so I give up! I’m sick of this and I’m tired of obsessing over him. So I will give up. Whatever happens, happens.

Tim and I have gotten pretty close now. He’s so huggy and clingy. I know he wants me, but I don’t want him. I’ll play around with him and hug him and let him hold me, but I don’t want anything more. I’m a bit afraid though. Oh, well. He calls me a lot. Starting today. Wierd. Lisa and James came over today. Lisa’s really depressed. So’s James, kinda. I’m pretty happy. The only thing bugging me is the Bryan thing. But I try not to let it hurt me. It does, but oh, well I’ll survive. Tonight, I was talking to Erika and we were laughing just like we used to for hours until her parents interfered. You know? A major part of my life doesn’t get in here. Email that is. Normally, I don’t write about that when I spend a while writing people. Well, read corresponding letters, reader! And my writing. I am changing but I like what I’m becoming. It’s kinda depressing. I don’t find a lot of perverted humor funny anymore. It used to be. I don’t find Bryan anything more than a bastard. Sigh. That’s alright. Anyway, I’m exhausted and I probably could go on forever, but I’m going to bed.

This probably qualifies as an identity crisis.

Love always,

Jen
Zee
Zev
nameless