I found out I have a 3.8 for first quarter. Go me! That’ll really help me achieve my admission to CAL!

Hmmm. Let’s see what’s been going on? Well I’ve been at school. I found out I have a 3.8 for first quarter. Go me! That’ll really help me achieve my admission to CAL! Monday night, at Mock Trial, I found out ti got a lawyer. I’m not sure which type yet, but I made it! And I’m pretty good! I was so proud- for once I wanted something, I actually went for it and I got it!!! I was really proud. I’m either Defense trial or Defense pretrial. I’d rather be pretrial, but either’s fine. I even enjoy the homework. And there is a lot of that!

Anyway, that’s my good news. Tuesday night (11/5) I called Katie to wish her a happy birthday. She wasn’t home so called me back last night. It was odd but I love her. She’s coming to visit in January. She’s bringing her Oregon friend Kristin. It will be odd, but oh well. I suppose I’m looking forward to it.

Yesterday, after school, Heather came over. We worked on Mock Trial and goofed off and then went to Mock Trial; fairly boring for me for I only was able to interview one witness. That’s alright. As soon as everyone has their parts we can start practicing. Wa hoo! I love Heather. We’re becoming pretty close. Especially since I’m not really speaking to Bryan.

Bryan is a Scorpio. I’ve since then learned to avoid Scorpios as much as possible.

Oh that. Didn’t you know? He told me that I’ve “changed” and I’m “pathetic.” That was Mon or Tues. I just kinda looked at him, turned around and stopped talking to him. If he talked to me, I’d speak to him, but I most certainly didn’t go out of my way to talk to him. Today it was a little better. We sat at the same table during the PLAN testing (boring–too easy) and talked some during History so then this evening I was in a really fabulous mood and I had no one to talk to so I called him, hoping to try to mend our friendship. Mike was over and I got bored so I hung up when he had another call. He called me back 1/2 hour later to tell me he was soory, but I was talking to Lisa who was pretty depressed so I didn’t talk to him. I was pretty cold to him, but you know I take a lot of crap from him and have never, ever dished it out, to him at least and I don’t have to put up with it. I have always cared so much about him and he has never cared back, so I give up! I’m sick of this and I’m tired of obsessing over him. So I will give up. Whatever happens, happens.

Tim and I have gotten pretty close now. He’s so huggy and clingy. I know he wants me, but I don’t want him. I’ll play around with him and hug him and let him hold me, but I don’t want anything more. I’m a bit afraid though. Oh, well. He calls me a lot. Starting today. Wierd. Lisa and James came over today. Lisa’s really depressed. So’s James, kinda. I’m pretty happy. The only thing bugging me is the Bryan thing. But I try not to let it hurt me. It does, but oh, well I’ll survive. Tonight, I was talking to Erika and we were laughing just like we used to for hours until her parents interfered. You know? A major part of my life doesn’t get in here. Email that is. Normally, I don’t write about that when I spend a while writing people. Well, read corresponding letters, reader! And my writing. I am changing but I like what I’m becoming. It’s kinda depressing. I don’t find a lot of perverted humor funny anymore. It used to be. I don’t find Bryan anything more than a bastard. Sigh. That’s alright. Anyway, I’m exhausted and I probably could go on forever, but I’m going to bed.

This probably qualifies as an identity crisis.

Love always,



I feel desirable knowing that at least seven guys on the face of this earth find me somewhat attractive. Complete.

Hello! Well let’s see. Not much feeling wise has happened lately. Umm.. well. Events

Thursday I went to school. I took some tests. Yeah. Something must have happened. Oh, well. It’ll come to me.

After school, Erika came over. We sat around here for a little while and then went to the mall. For awhile we shopped for bras. I’m a whole cup! Continue Reading

If I die, I love everybody. I know I’ll die just not yet.

Damn, it’s been a long time. Hmm. Well, last weekend was very boring. I don’t think I did much of anything. Lisa probably came over. Oh and Friday (10-4) I went over to Amanda’s. That was wierd. I’m sick of trying to invict morals to the morally deprived! Oh, well. I guess lecturing Amanda for the billionth time about AIDs and pregnancy is completely normal by now. Erika was sick but she’s pretty much better now. Oh! I’m a hell of a lot happier now. Much. I do love myself. I did my book report all last weekend. All last week, I was happier. Shawn H. was pissed at the world, Mike was down on himself, James was with Amy V., Erika was back, Bryan was with Lannie, Fred was flirtacious and Lisa was Lisa. Continue Reading