If I die, I love everybody. I know I’ll die just not yet.

Originally Written on October 13, 1996
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Damn, it’s been a long time. Hmm. Well, last weekend was very boring. I don’t think I did much of anything. Lisa probably came over. Oh and Friday (10-4) I went over to Amanda’s. That was wierd. I’m sick of trying to invict morals to the morally deprived! Oh, well. I guess lecturing Amanda for the billionth time about AIDs and pregnancy is completely normal by now. Erika was sick but she’s pretty much better now. Oh! I’m a hell of a lot happier now. Much. I do love myself. I did my book report all last weekend. All last week, I was happier. Shawn H. was pissed at the world, Mike was down on himself, James was with Amy V., Erika was back, Bryan was with Lannie, Fred was flirtacious and Lisa was Lisa. Continue Reading

Duffel Bags of Cash

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I have a life coach and she’s wonderful. Lots of people ask me what life coaching is and that’s probably a question best left to her. I would describe it as “therapy with action items” except that therapy is a lot more touchy feely, and this is waaay more action oriented. I leave our sessions armed with confidence and direction–whereas I enter them most of the time feeling pulled in infinite directions and listless.

Today we had a harder session. As my life coach, she is privy to all my current plans and happenings. She knows the extent of my desires to be an internet celebrity and a talk show host, and she has watched me falter time and time again over the past 18 months as I have been slowly building a foundation for success. When I’m in my more darker moments I can be very hard on myself for how long the process has taken, but ultimately, that’s where I am. I could beat myself up forever, but that is a debilitating mindset and one I try to escape whenever possible. Continue Reading

Filing Day

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Yesterday was filing day and if you are anything like me, filing day is more like a week of procrastinating the filing before finally putting on Project Runway and digging in.

I finally dug in last night, and I was pleasantly surprised at how fun it was. I know…what??? Filing and fun in the same sentence? I didn’t think it was possible either.

But it was and for the following three reasons. Continue Reading

Like that Lucky Old Sun

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’ve been sick this week, and whenever I get sick I question my motives for being self-employed.  I remember what it was like to be able to call in sick and not worry about it.  Sure, there were responsibilities, and there were often stresses associated with taking a sick day (especially under deadlines!). Ultimately, though, my paycheck would come and the organization would survive if I didn’t show up for a few days.

Even though I didn’t feel well, I did whatever I could over the past few days.  Monday I worked, Tuesday I polished a pet portrait, yesterday I cleaned the house.  Then, in a fit of exhaustion sat on the couch for the rest of the day–arguably where I should have been the whole time.

As I sat there watching Arrested Development for probably the fifteenth time, I got to thinking about the ladies and gentlemen of Victorian England, whom I know quite well through Jane Austen’s delightful novels.  Each morning they choose what to do that day–be it wandering through expansive gardens, playing the piano, a bridge game, or taking a few days and traveling to Bath for a holiday.  I thought it was unfair that they should have so few worries, and I said so this morning at breakfast with Will.

Will pointed out that that kind of leisure time has its downsides. Without work to preoccupy this leisure class, they invented problems out of sheer boredom.  I remember well that the problem of when (and who) a lady will marry was quite an ordeal in Jane Austen’s account.

The choice, then, is whether to suffer daily from boredom, or suffer daily from the stresses and challenges associated with a working life.  The choice, that is, in a theoretical sense; as I was not born to wealthy family in the era of Victorian England, I am left to only daydream about how it might feel to be so thoroughly without responsibility.

Preoccupied as I am with my cold and daydreams of Victorian England, I have spent the day humming the song “That Lucky Old Sun”, which wonderfully captures the essence of this envy for leisure. I am hardly the first, and I won’t be the last, to spend an afternoon coveting the lifestyle of those whose days and nights are idle.

I hope he saw the tears in my eyes. I hope he realizes they were threatening to fall because of him

Originally Written on October 1, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Last night could have quite possibly be the worst dance I’ll ever go to. For a while, I just saw Justin, but I finally spotted Eric. I guess it was so bad because I realized, “hey, I have not chance!” Eric has no idea who the hell I am, and everytime I saw him he had 4 or 5 girls all over him. Running their fingers through his hair, trying to get him to dance with them. If he even noticed I was there, he probably didn’t recognize me from Art & PE. Continue Reading

On the Subject of Ducklings

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

(I cannot vouch for the truthiness of this story…but it comes from a credible source 🙂 )

My grandfather was a geologist. He was sent out mapping all over the country, and dragged the family with him. From what I hear they had some major adventures–lots of camping for weeks without running water, and lots of moving around.

One day they were some place with a county fair. Most places have county fairs, actually, so this could very well be anywhere. County fairs were a very important social activity back in those days when people didn’t have a Wii to keep them locked up at home.

For whatever reason my grandfather took a job dressing up as a Native American at the county fair (???). I’m not really clear on how or why, but apparently he made a pretty ridiculous Native American as he was fair haired and absolutely coated in freckles. (I guess they didn’t have any better options?)

At the fair, there was a fellow there operating that game where you toss a coin into a sea of bowls. If you get one in, you win a prize. I’ve only ever seen goldfish for prizes, but on this occasion they were ducklings.

The fellow operating the game noticed that if my grandfather (ridiculously dressed as a Native American) hung around near the game, more people would come play it. He offered my grandfather ducklings in exchange for having him hang around the game when he could.

My grandfather earned a total of three ducklings. My mom, being the oldest, was given two. Her little sister–six years younger–was given just one to care for. Apparently it is very easy to “assign” ducklings to new moms; stick them all in a room and it just happens. This answers one of the questions I raised in my duckling documentary fantasy.

Apparently, though, ducklings will poop anywhere. Also, they will poop anytime. These facts will definitely impact how the duckling documentary will go. Zach will eventually realize he should just coat the floor of his apartment in newspaper. Those scenes where Zach and the ducklings go to the bank and the grocery store will be legendary. And I bet Zach could get them on a plane in a carrier.

The story of my foremothers’ and the ducklings ends rather sadly. Their ducklings followed them to and from, and they grew to be great friends with each one. One day my aunt put hers on a swing; a heartbreakingly fatal error. But, as the duckling documentary also relates, though the friendship of a human and their duckling may be brief, the lesson of love stays with us.

Surprise Pack

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’ve been a Tupperware sales consultant for years, and I am continually mystified by this product they offer from time to time: the Surprise Pack.

This is how they bill it:

“Save 60% on Surprise Packs!
Requires a $25 Order
Save now on an assortment of Tupperware®
product solutions that can help make your life
easier. Product assortments may include any of
the following Tupperware favorites: One Touch®
Bowl Set, Heat ’N Serve® container, Kid’s
Lunch Solution Set, Spring Apron, Hamburger
Press Freezer Set and/or a Refrigerator Bowl
Set. Limit one with each $25 order. $100 value.
889195  $40.00”

So with a $25 Tupperware order, customers earn the ability to spend $40.00 on $100 of mystery Tupperware.  I, as a Tupperware aficionado, understand the varied uses of Tupperware products.  I use Tupperware to hold my paper clips, rubber bands, and sewing kit to name a few of the oddest uses.  I have a few shallow ones that help me organize loose tea bags.  Whenever I find something that needs to be organized I look through my stockpile of Tupperware for something that will work.

But even I have never thought it a good idea to invest in one of these Surprise Packs, no matter how much the discount is.  It’s just such a gamble!  I will perhaps acquire some of a fairly long list of products.  If I wanted those products badly enough, wouldn’t I rather just pay for it?

I’m sure that what’s actually going on is that they have a bunch of extras of everything on the Surprise Pack list.  If you take this gamble, you may very well may wind up with three Tupperware aprons (which I can’t even find a picture of anywhere so it’s obviously a product that no one liked!).

But if this Tupperware Surprise Pack sounds good to you, you can only buy it by contacting me at sisters@tupperwaresisters.com. Leave me a phone number and we’ll get your order placed!  Deadline October 8th.

There’s also a really good special you can only get by ordering through me (i.e., can’t get it online). The Clear Mates 12pc set ($101) is on sale for $49!  These are great for organizing your fridge and the Modular shape means you can fit TONS of leftovers in limited space.  Deadline October 8th for this particular deal.

Top 5 Reasons to Choose Tupperware

Top 4 Tupperware Products that Will Save YOU Money IMMEDIATELY

And don’t forget, you can shop for Tupperware online all day every day at www.tupperwaresisters.com!

I hate Comcast

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’ve written before about Comcast, and now that I’ve been their customer for 3 months I have to say that I hate them. Now, hate is a strong word and I try not to use it lightly. But I honestly hate them.

1. MONOPOLY.

I have two options to choose from: Comcast and AT&T. Given that I hate Comcast so much I should probably switch to AT&T. We probably will since Will just told me they have better customer service. The best it could be is the lesser of two evils.  Both have that new scheme where they charge you for super internet, or bumped up Internet or whatever their marketing team came up with to make it sound alluring.  Whatever it’s called, what you get is the same service you used to get before they made the standard service slower so that they could squeeze some more dollars out of each of our pay checks. Continue Reading