Author: Jennifer Heller

I’m pretty comfortable with guys. But still they tell me I’m blushing.

Originally Written on April 5, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I am popular. I think. I’ve spent the past 4 days entirely with Becky. After tonight I feel closer to her than I have ever felt.

I called a guy. Roger. It was cool. Not hard at all; not like I thought. He’s going out with Alexis. What does she have that I don’t? I’ve liked him all year. Now I have self confidence though.

We’re just friends. Roger want kiss Alexis. Alexis told him that she’d slap him if he tryed so Roger won’t kiss even hug hug him.

I’m getting a C+ in PE. I never thought I’d stoop so low. The thing was I didn’t even care. Continue Reading

Public Service Announcement: Del Oro Tostada Crowns are terrible

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

We’re big fans of Mexican food around here.  We have some awesome taquerias nearby (Cactus and La Calaca Loca are our favorites).

We also like to make it at home.  It reminds me of childhood; especially if we’re lazy and use the Lawry’s spice packet.  Will picked up Tostada Crowns for a change.  They were terrible.  Beyond stale.

They did make a pretty good bowl, though.  Especially since no one wanted to eat them.

We’ve gotten stale taco shells and crowns as often as we’ve gotten good ones.  From now on, I’m going to figure out how to make my own.

Continue Reading

Another Reason Why I Hate Comcast

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I have been their customer for years, and yet they continue to send advertisements for their services almost weekly.

Not only is it a waste of money and paper (you know they aren’t buying recycled), but it screams, “We charge you SO MUCH more than we need to so we can afford ongoing direct mail campaigns without even caring whether we’re pitching to our very own customers!”

As a small business owner, I’m honored to receive double the direct mail offering me products to which I already subscribe.  And for this, I hate you, Comcast.  I also hate you for all the hidden fees you sneak into my bill every month.  Not cool, Comcast.

I look forward to heading over to your local office within the next two weeks and turning in my DVR, receiver, remotes and anything else in the house labeled Comcast.

I finally found a local internet provider, Sonic.  They’re coming tomorrow to hook me up.  EXCITED!

(Not that that will keep me from receiving the Comcast spam snail mail, though.) Continue Reading

Life Aboard a Chinese Junk

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I got a bee in my bonnet a few years ago that life might be simpler (i.e., cheaper) if I were to live aboard a boat.

To wake up every morning to the fresh sea air on my face. To wander down the marina as I sip my morning coffee. To never pay rent again!!

I wondered with the Guster’s reaction would be, but I was sure that he would adjust to his new surroundings.  We both would.  There might be a little bit of anxiety and sea sickness at first, but ultimately we would achieve a truly sustainable way of life.  He would take up fishing with his mighty cat claws…perhaps he would catch both our dinners!  And the days he would spend sunning himself on the deck.  He would be happier there, he’d learn.  It would be a good place for him to grow old.

Imagine the sunsets we would see from our birthing spot on the San Francisco Bay.  Imagine how real the storms would be, with waves sloshing all around us.  It would be a truly glorious adventure.

I started searching Craigslist for boats for sale or rent. Most of the boats I found did not have the ethos of my romantic adventure, which had its origins in the beautiful boxy houseboats of the canals of Amsterdam.  The boats I found were small, and made of plastic. They looked more like a child’s toy then the home base for this beautiful life.

Something inside of me knew that the right boat was out there.  I searched on. Continue Reading

Homemade Thin Mints

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

It’s Girl Scout cookie time.  I am reminded of all the hours I  spent as a girl wandering the streets selling cookies.  Sometimes it was fun, but it was always a fairly arduous task.

Amazingly, the last year I sold Girl Scout cookies was 1998 (yes I was a Girl Scout til the bitter end) and the price has hardly gone up since then.  I always notice, however, when I buy them now, how small they are.  I have to wonder if they’re making them smaller instead of raising the prices…people don’t want to pay more than $4 or $5 per box, after all. Continue Reading

Dear RefurbDepot.com,

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I really enjoyed the deal you gave me on my Canon SD 1000 two and a half years ago.  Such a great little machine and such a great price.

Even though I was bummed that it finally kicked the bucket after getting wet on the way to the Prince concert, I knew you would have my back.  I checked your prices.  They hadn’t budged from the 2009 prices proving what I knew: that the Canon SD 1000 is a solid companion of a digital camera.

I added it to my shopping cart.  I snap photos all day long–I can’t be without a camera for long.  “Check out”, I tell your website, “check out.”  Nothing happens.  Again and again. Continue Reading

I'm so grateful for

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

1. A European Trip

We’re headed to Europe this June, and I can hardly contain my excitement.

2. Will

He’s a really fun second half. He likes my cat, though he’d never admit it and most frequently refers to him as “the rodent.”

3. Community

I’ve been reaching out to the local community a lot over the past few months, and am so inspired and grateful for the connections I’ve made. I’m sure that running my own business will continue down the same bumpy road, but I’m glad for the company. Continue Reading

I'm so over

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

1.  Hearing about Charlie Sheen.

Who is Charlie Sheen??  Some ass that locked a prostitute in a closet or some shit???  Let’s move on already.

2. Income Taxes

I have to allocate a portion of profits to support a war I don’t agree with and a political system that makes me sick.

3. Roommates

I love the two people I live with.  But three people with one bathroom??  I always have to pee when someone’s in the shower. Continue Reading