I’m glad that “paper is patient”. I pour all my secrets in this diary. Well almost all of them. I suppose there are still some.

Originally Written on July 16, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I haven’t written for awhile ‘cause there’s been nothing going on. Erica’s been back for a few days now. I wrote Becky. I still think about Andy alot. He’s usually on my mind.

The last night before last Dad brought home Glider. When I found it (in the silverware drawer) I yelled with pleasure.

You can yell with pleasure too! Glider is a really great game. I still love it, and it’s available for download and will work on most computers!!

Today he brought home Tetris. Those are my favorite games. Before I barely was on the computer. Now I’m addicted. I have to wear the amulet to keep away the computer “vibes”. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m the best at Glider.

I’m glad that “paper is patient”. I pour all my secrets in this diary. Well almost all of them. I suppose there are still some. I know somebody’s going to read this, so I’m apprehensive of what I write.

Becky always used to laugh at what I wrote. I felt, hey, what kind of best friend would laugh at my feelings? I think it’s absolutely horrible.

In fact I used to write my secrets in cursive, so she couldn’t read it. I have alot of anger towards her. Today I’m going to pour everything about Becky into here. Wonderful. I just marked my white shirt with blue. (You can laugh at that) Continue Reading

Office Depot Greener Office Delivery Service

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I needed labels for the totally awesome Jenfest souvenirs and Office Depot was the cheapest retailer that had these labels. Normally I would just go pick them up, but they were only available online. AND if I ordered $50 or more I would receive FREE overnight delivery. Score! I needed staples anyway!

So I worked my way to $50 buying extra toner and pens. I should have gotten some note pads.

The next day the office supplies show up packed in a nice white paper bag proclaiming their delivery service to be the “Greener Office Delivery Service.” Office Depot seems to really be trying to be green; rumor has it they deliver by bicycle in the UK. Everything was placed inside the bag as if I had gone shopping myself (though I would have brought my own bag). I was gratified by the lack of extra packing paper and boxes, and, I have to say, it was convenient.

Then came the harsh reality. The gel pens I had gotten — Gelio is the brand — sport a “comfort grip” that is more like blades of rubber. OW!!

And then I started thinking about it. These labels I needed they only carried online. But here they were in a paper bag as if someone had just wandered around the store picking things out. Something didn’t add up. Continue Reading

When I was just about to sit down, Andy came up and looked me in the eyes. I looked straight back and sat down.

Originally Written on July 7, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Last night I had the strangest dream.  In my dream we went ice-skating.  Erica was with us.

In trooped the band.  Well, part of the band.  Guess who was there?  Andy!

So Erica and I walked over.  And Tony was there for some reason.  He asked me why my line had been so busy.  I told him my mom was on it.  Everyone was sitting down.

When I was just about to sit down, Andy came up and looked me in the eyes.  I looked straight back and sat down.

When we were on the ice, I was skating near Andy and his friend.  His friend said now you hold hands.  Suddenly I realized that he really liked me, so I said that he didn’t skate very well to get out of it, cause he showed some interest in doing it.

There was more but I don’t remember it.  Does he like me?  I think I like him.  Okay, I know I like him.  I think he likes me.  See ya! Continue Reading

Jenfest 2011

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I love throwing parties.  It’s pretty much the highlight of my life.

I’ve been throwing a Jenfest every year since 2003.  This year will be the ninth.  Every year I go over budget, and lose about a month of my life to ridiculous details, planning and souvenir-making.

Daydreaming about Jenfest starts somewhere in February.  I’ve long had a dream of renting the Roxie and having a movie night complete with appropriate games, songs and refreshments.  The long-coveted fantasy Jenfest is a giant concert starring my favorite band, Pulp*. I still have hope that that dream may come true…

This year I was planning a Guerrilla Outdoor Movie Night on Broadway.  The plan was to project a movie on an unrented building and take over the adjoining parking lot with camping chairs, blankets, and a popcorn machine.  Sounds fun, right?  The idea of a Winona Ryder (my favorite!) film festival was bounced around. Continue Reading

It’s so strange, cause I don’t know what it’s like to like someone.

Originally Written on July 5, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

You know, I’ve been wishing the strangest things.  I keep wanting to see Andy.  It’s so weird.  You know, it’s like if I see him I’ll figure out if I like him or not.  I don’t even remember his face. And the yearbook, well, the picture is too old.  It’s so strange, cause I don’t know what it’s like to like someone.  With Steve I never saw him so……I mean are you always thinking about them?  Or do you fall apart just thinking about them? Continue Reading

The Story of My Four Deodorants

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Awhile ago my deodorant ran out. I reluctantly purchased a new deodorant (when did they get so expensive??).  That’s how I wound up with one deodorant again.

About a week later I went down to Bakersfield with my friend Mike to go to one of our college friend Laura’s amazing parties. It rocked, but I forgot my new deodorant.

Luckily, we stopped a TJs along the way and I picked up another one. That’s how I came to have two deodorants.

A few weeks later we left for Europe, and again I forgot my deodorant!! What is it with me and forgetting my deodorant?? I finally broke down and bought some in a Schlecker in Berlin after borrowing my hosts’ deodorant for a few days*. Now I owned a total of three different deodorants! Continue Reading

When Does a Doodle Become an Art Piece?

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Of all the dozen or so museums Will and I saw in Europe last month, the exhibit that keeps coming up is one that neither of us liked.  At all.

At the Hamburger Bahnhof in Berlin we saw the exhibit Secret Universe, the works of Horst Ademeit.

Each day of Ademeit’s life, he would take a Polaroid of something that bothered him about the world and record his thoughts and complaints all over the edges.  He would number them, so he could keep track.

Horst Ademeit "5805" Archiv-Nr.: Ad 621 Mischtechnik / Polaroid 11 x 9 cm © Courtesy Galerie Susanne Zander, Köln

Only after Ademeit’s death, as the exhibit related, was his “body of work was discovered.” This body of work — these thousands of Polaroids lined were up, one by one, in numerical order forming a grid stretching through three rooms.

The ramblings of a disturbed man set out in the meticulous fashion in which he formed them for all to see.  This obsessive tracking of each day is something we have come to associate with psychosis or other mental illness.

Though we didn’t like the exhibit especially, we are still talking about.  It strikes me now as a wonderful glimpse into the pain of what it is to be human.  At least this man had an outlet for all the complaints that many of us swallow in the effort to be gracious human beings!

But at the same time, I don’t know if it’s art.  I wonder if perhaps it would be better characterized as anthropology.

But when a doodle become an art piece?  When you have thousands of them lined up side by side? Continue Reading

What if he doesn’t like me? I mean I’d rather wait until he calls me and asks me out. If he would.

Originally Written on July 2, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Hi!  I am going to call Justin and talk him into going out with Erica.  Not that he needs any persuasion, but you know what I mean.

So then Erica reads this and decides that she’s going to call Andy and do the same for me.  I don’t know.  What if he doesn’t like me?  I mean I’d rather wait until he calls me and asks me out.  If he would.

Also Erica asked me what I would do if both Andy and Andrew called me up on the same day and asked if I would go out with them.  What would I do?  I can’t two-time.  It’s not going to happen, though.

Becky moved yesterday.

CATCHA LATER! Continue Reading