I've long been coveting a carnivorous plant

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Last summer I visited a shop in Stinson Beach and got to talking to the shop owner.  His work space was surrounded by a few carnivorous plants.  I expressed my surprise that he was keeping them inside and would want such terrifying plants so close by*.  He said that you wouldn’t believe how many bugs they catch–bugs that he doesn’t have to hang out with in his workspac

Well, I didn’t think that there were that many bugs to catch in my workplace.  I noted his eccentrities and moved on.

But every since I notice dozens of bugs a day!!  And every time I see (or hear) one I covet his carnivorous plants silently chugging along to do their part in making a peaceful workplace.    Continue Reading

I don’t like Andy anymore. Now I like Steve. Cool. He’s cute, popular. I was about to say he’s smart. Well he might be.

Originally Written on July 31, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I don’t like Andy anymore.  Now I like Steve.  Cool.  He’s cute, popular.  I was about to say he’s smart.  Well he might be.  I hope he doesn’t do to me what he did to Sarah T.  He asked her out and a couple minutes later he dumped her.

For my birthday I’m getting a phone.  Then Becky’s phone can be given to Erica!  I think I’ll get the Swatch Twin Phone.  It’s cool but its $97!  I don’t think Mom and Dad are going to spring for it.  Unless we get the money.  And then were moving to Arkansas.  Blech!  Hell! Continue Reading

I love Poppin.com

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I have been on a hunt for a cute tape dispenser for quite some time now.

I’ve had the same tape dispenser for quite some time. I decorated it back in 1992 or something when I first got it with gold metallic ink and green permanent pens. It was kinda cute.

Since then I’ve lost the thing that actually holds the roll of tape and  it’s lost all of its original splendor.  For the past couple years I have been on a hunt for either the missing piece (so that it might serve to be a tape dispenser again and I could redecorate it) or an adorable new tape dispenser to brighten my work life.

My sad, old, unusable decrepit tape dispenser.

In my search I found tape dispensers that look like shoes (tacky), clear acrylic tape dispensers (imagine how visible the dust would be!), silly ones that resemble animals or some such and the run-of-the-mill plain ones. I wasn’t satisfied. Continue Reading

In three days I’m 12, and I HAVE A COLD SORE! It’s Hell!

Originally Written on July 30, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Okay so I didn’t write the next day.  I don’t want to bore you with the details of the trip anyway.  Let’s just say it sucked.

In three days I’m 12, and I HAVE A COLD SORE!  It’s Hell!

I just have to hope I don’t see Steve!  What if then he wouldn’t want to go out with me?  How horrible!

Catcha later.

I love German Typography

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

We’ve been back from our Europe 2011 adventure for a month today. I’ll save my rant about the passage of time for another day.

I loved many things about Germany, but their typography stuck out for me. Here in Oakland, CA, the best thing about our street signs is that there’s an oak tree on them. The funniest thing about that is that oak trees are actually fairly hard to find around here… but that’s neither here nor there.

The typography is nice, clean and elegant on this Oakland street sign.  I love the ‘g’ and the spacing is nice…

…but somehow this German street sign has more even more elegance and nuance.  Perhaps it’s the perfect spacing between the letters or just the addition of the ß that adds that extra oomph I like so much. Continue Reading

I can tell you Mom and Dad weren’t too happy about my getting phone calls at midnight.

Originally Written on July 18, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

It’s about 1 am. An hour ago I got a phone call.
Me: “Hello?”
Answer: “Hi, may I speak to Jennifer please?” The voice was male
Me: “Speaking”
Male voice: “Hi, uh this is Steve’s cousin.”
Me: “uh, hi”
Background: “I didn’t tell you to say who, you idiot!”
Male voice: “Uh, someone likes you…..Jennifer?”
Me: “Yeah”
Male voice: “Steve likes you and he want to ask you out on the first day of school.”
Background: “You IDIOT!!”

I don’t remember the rest. I can tell you Mom and Dad weren’t too happy about my getting phone calls at midnight.

Especially when the phone rang two more times. Once from Ana and then from Melissa. You see Steve had called Melissa to get my phone #. Melissa didn’t have it so called Ana. Ana gave it to her and Melissa called Steve back with it.

Near the end of the school year, Steve had asked me out. He was just kidding or so I thought.

I have to tell Erica. I don’t like Steve or at least I don’t think I do. On the phone Melissa said he was cute. I’m not a very good judge of cute. On the phone with Steve’s cousin, I wanted to say that he could ask me out sooner than the first day of school. Of course I didn’t, I’m so nervous.

Let me tell you, on the phone with Steve’s cousin I was sweating like a pig. Continue Reading

Let’s Hitch Our Wagons to this Star

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

The Guster was really, really great in our movie Hanging with the Gus Man. What? You haven’t seen it?? Watch it now; you won’t be sorry. Seen it? Watch it again! It’s so brilliant*.

He popped up right when we needed him too. A little bit of cat treat on my fingers was all I needed to get him to approach at just the right moment.

All in all, it was an amazing filming experience.

So, I said to Will the other day, “Let’s hitch our wagons to this star. We’ll become cat handlers, move to LA. Get Gus an agent. It’s our destiny.” Continue Reading

Fuck! just got red pen on the same shirt as the blue!

Originally Written on July 17, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today I’m using red and orange, for these are the colors that usually represent hot. And hot I am! All day I’ve been totally sweating. Well lets give up the hot. Every other subject will be red.

1st Subject: People I hate.

Spoiler alert!! There is no second subject!

Ana. Bitch of all Bitches. Queen of fat. Duke of ugly. President of mean. You get the picture?

Julie. Don’t know why but I do.

Megan. Bitch. Even meaner than Ana. That’s pretty mean, too. Continue Reading