Becky is gone. Again. It feels like it never happened. It was really great seeing her, and I know that our friendship will never end. But I did and with seeing her, I realized how important her friendship is to me. I know I’ll see her again.

Now I’m scared. Of eight grade. I know that it’ll be the same as it always has been. But after my eighth grade year, we’re moving. And I believe it. The money will come very soon and then we’ll buy a house that’s being built. We saw it today. It’s huge. We’ll spend the school year in that house and then we’re gone for awhile, I wanted to move. I wanted to make a fresh start at a new school. I could figure out who the “happy group” people are and fall into their circle. I could do that. But I love my friends. I don’t want to leave them. This year is going to be my last year with them and I’m going to make it my best. But there are the normal worries and for some STUPID reason I’m worrying about them: What if I don’t know anyone in my classes; What if my friends ditch me + make me a loner; well you get the idea. What is 5th per. lunch like. It’s the same as 7th, I know. It’s going to be so cool, having all of my friends at the same lunch. I don’t want to drift away from any of my friends. I’m not going to worry about eighth grade right now. In about half a month, maybe!

I think I’m going to lay off the Dave thing 4 a while. I find myself thinking about him too much. A few days ago, I really scared myself by thinking that I loved him. I like him, but I don’t love him. I can’t love him. I’m going to try to stop liking him. I have to face the fact that right now a relationship isn’t in the cards for us. A friendship maybe, but not a relationship. I’m sure that when school starts I’ll meet a hella sweet, hella scrumptuous (that’s my new word — means fine) guy. And fall in love. But until then, I’m kinda giving up on Dave. I swear, it’s like I’m obsessed with him. And I don’t like that. There are some guys in summer school. None that I could ever have some interest in. But on Mon, I think I’ll take a look.

Good bye and Good Nite!

To me, there’s something comforting about writing in here before I go to bed.

Today I apologized to Em for being mad at her. I know before I did, I was being a bitch on the phone [ink color abruptly changes from pink to black]– that pen was not working! Anyway, I talked to Beck and I feel a lot better now! It seems that lately, I’ve been mad at her every other day! She’s just an easy target and I need to express my stress somehow! Sorry, M. Tomorrow, we’re going to the mall.

CIAO!

Howdy! Today at the movies it was only the four girls and Dave! I felt bad 4 Dave. Becky thought he was cute. Once again, we sat next to each other, with no one on his other side.

We talked and Dave joked quite a bit throughout the movie. The movie was great! I love it. Back to Dave, he ate almost all of my Sour Patch Kids! But I really don’t mind anything to bring us closer! I had a great time!

Goody!

Howdy! Nothing going on around here. I didn’t do anything with Em and Becky today as was planned. Tomorrow, we’re all going to the movies — the Lion King! I’m not sure who’s all going but I know it’s going to be: me, Em, Beck, Nat and Dave! I’m not going to be nervous. It’s not going to be just Dave, Jordan, Patterson or Tom W.(!) might come. It’s going to be really cool.

I got the part of Fryer Luck! But now I don’t want it! It’s really big. But, I’m glad I got it!

Hi! This is the place where I record just about everything important that happens to me. Right now, I’m in the summer vacation between 7th and 8th grade. My bestest friend, Becky M., lives in Texas. But right now she’s here in Pleasanton with me. At this moment, she’s staying with my other best friend, Emily D.

For the month of July, I’m taking an art + drama class at summer school. I’m 12, although most of my friends are 13. One of my favorite intrests is ice-skating. I’m one of the advanced classes at Dublin Iceland. I adore it. Every Wednesday, I go and skate. After school got out, one of my really good friends, Natalie D., started to take lessons. Last week, Dave S., my latest intrest, came to skating. We don’t know each other really well, but we’re friends. I’m not giving up hope, though. Smurf is his code name.

I am very creative, though I spend half my time watching the tube.

I’m in the middle of writing a book — Deja Vu. It’s a horror-love story. I’m not really far, but it’s good so far. In art class, we’re supposed to keep a book of sketches. Mine are really good, if I do say so myself. In drama, I tried out for the part of Fryer Luck (spinoff of Robin Hood) for our play. It’s a rather big part and I hope I get it! I’ll find out tomorrow.

My romance life? Non-existint. Alot of the time, I’ll put myself down but that’s only when I’m upset, of course, that’s alot of the time! I’m sort of in the “cool group”, which includes: Natalie, Emily, Jordan E. (Nat’s boyfriend), Doug B. (Em’s boyfriend), and of course, Dave. Or Smurf, if you’d rather.

My nickname is “Dipper Tinman Insane”. I got that because on my left cheek is a dipper, (as in the Little Dipper & the Big Dipper) Tinman because me, Nat, Erika H. (one of my most trusted good friends) and Christy L. (who will often be referred to as Fred–she’s another great friend) all have parts in the Wizard of Oz. I got insane because basically I’m really wierd. Crazy. Mostly hyper.

Hopefully, you know all this junk I’m telling you because you’ve read my previous diaries. In fact, I have no idea why I’m wasting all this ink and trees explaining my life. I’ll stop now and tell what happened today.

Yes, it really says that. You cannot deny that 12-year-old Jen wanted to have her diaries posted on the Internet. If the Internet had existed then, this would have been a LiveJournal.

Todays Sunday, so I didn’t have summer school (that was pointless, huh?). Anyway, I was going to go to the mall with Em, Nat and Beck. But my parental units let me have them over for swimming and dinner too.

Natalie arrived about 1:15. We walked to the mall. About 1:30 we were at Olga’s Kitchen, waiting for Em and Becky. They didn’t arrive till 1:45! Anyway I was annoyed with Em, basically all the time we were at the mall. For no particular reason, either. I just needed to take my aggression out on someone. Then, about 3:15, we got picked up by my mom. We headed home, got in our suits and went to the pool. Maybe it was the cool, wet water that snapped me into my senses. Anyway I stopped being annoyed with Em. I felt really bad, because she had read my last diary entry and was on the verge of tears. So, for the rest of the night, I tried to be especially nice. I feel bad. Sorry M!

CIAO! Bonne nuit!