So far there is only one cuss word in it and hell’s a place not a thing.

I’ve been busy. I can’t seem to stop writing this book- I think I’ll actually do it this time. I’m going to get it published and everything. I can’t figure out what the title should be though. Today I gave lots of people copies of it so they could edit it. I haven’t made any of the changes yet- but it’s like they’re adopting my story. I might as well say it’s by Jennifer Hellers friends. I know i really need their input and believe I apreciate- but I’m not going to change a lot. I’ll think about what they think and if they think one part sucks I’ll improve it. But I’m not adding anything that isn’t my own words. So far there is only one cuss word in it and hell’s a place not a thing.

Ciao! (Chow!)

NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Last Call!

One of my stories made it into yet another round of the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Contest!

A laser that turns oxygen into diamonds?! It sounds impossible, but it was the end of everything.

Vote for me please! Today is the last day for voting.

Winning this is the first phase in my plan of TOTAL INTERNET DOMINATION. Which, you know, means more fun for everyone.

They don't look like aliens.

This story was once again inspired by Days of Our Lives. Once on Days of Our Lives there was an extremely (EXTREMELY) hot character named Rex who came down to Earth on a space ship with his also extremely hot sister Cassie. Rex and Cassie it turned out were Kate’s kids (the details are getting murky here) but before that came out there was this almost-incest moment between Cassie and Lucas. Good times.

Rex was not only extremely hot but also extremely smart. He built a laser that could turn coal into diamonds. This was going to mean total world domination for the DiMeras (who already pretty much dominate). Or at least it would have, if the ship carrying the laser hadn’t gotten blown up. That was a good day for Days fans; we love it when stuff blows up.

Despite all the power that Stefano DiMera has, it didn’t occur to him to just produce another laser that turns coal into diamonds. Oh well. Easy come, easy go

NYC Midnight, Sami and Rafe

In an exhilarating turn of events, one of my New York City Midnight Flash Fiction Micro Challenge stories made it to the next round!!

They picked my favorite of my submissions (and possibly the only good one).  Inspired by the Sami-Rafe-Fake Rafe story line on Days of Our Lives, and lacking a closing period to fit into 100 characters:

“I’ll stand guard.” She knew he would, that she could count on him. It was the impostor she detested

Pretty good, right? Who could blame them for choosing me?

Now it’s up to my good friends on the Internet to catapult me to the next level!

Vote for me! (it’s over now…)

And now some ridiculously gratuitous Sami and Rafe photos and trivia:

Sometimes they just can't keep their hands off of each other. The first time Sami slept with Fake Rafe (the imposter), she felt like it was "the first time."

This scene included product placement for Chex Mix. Mmmm.

The portmaneau for Sami and Rafe is "Safe". Ridiculous eh?

Continue Reading

New York Midnight’s Flash Fiction Micro Contest

Once in a while I daydream of a life where I’m a full-time writer.  It’s when I’m not daydreaming of being a sculptor or a talk show host.

New York Midnight’s Flash Fiction Micro Contest found me in one of those moments, and without blinking an eyelash signed right up.

Contestants were asked to submit three 100 character stories today.  Each entry had to feature a particular word, and we received that word at roughly 9am (my time) this morning.  Entries were due at twelve hours later at 11:59 EST.

After I signed up I started thinking about it…100 characters.  That’s less than a tweet!  By 40 characters!!  They obviously picked the length so that people could tweet their stories…smart.

Today faced with my word (“stand”) and a jam-packed day I got to thinking about the task at hand.  What is a story?  How can you fit a story in 100 characters?

Luckily I’d already discussed it with my best friend G. who’s an editor by trade and a voracious reader.  She assured me that it was possible to write a story in a sentence, and that the best ones she had read were less-action packed and insinuated a larger and often obscure background story.  I got that last tip too late to really incorporate it into my stories.

I didn’t have much time, but got to work.  Continue Reading

Tomorrow I have to find out who won the short story contest. I have great faith in The Famous Feline, but I don’t have much self-confidence.

My first ever get rich quick scheme was Crochet 'R' Us, a store devoted to selling chroceted bookworm bookmarks.  Back then they had little pipe cleaner antennae and googly eyes.  Think I should take it up again?

Tomorrow I have to find out who won the short story contest. I have great faith in The Famous Feline, but I don’t have much self-confidence. Gotta go chrochet.


Obsessed with cats from a young age, The Famous Feline was a story I wrote for a district-wide 5th grade short story writing contest about a talking cat who wants to get into show business (if memory serves…). I have this horrible memory of the teacher reading all the stores aloud so that everyone could vote. I must have been beet red I was so terribly embarassed. It isn’t ever covered in my upcoming diary entries, but mine was one of three stories to be entered into the competition, though I do not believe I won.

blah blah blah content!

I am so used to nudging and coaxing content out of my design clients. I always had sympathy for them, knowing from personal experience, how hard it is to define and talk about oneself or ones business.

I gave myself this week to finalize the content for my design portfolio. I decided after a few years of free-lancing it was time to finally pull a portfolio together. I have my table of contents (that was easy!) and some sentences here and there for the content. By goodness me, do I want to sit down and create the content? Not at all.

My life coach says that when you get it right, it’s fun. I can imagine that it is supposed to be fun, the way exercising first thing in the morning is supposed to be fun and set the whole tone of the day. So will the content for my design portfolio–it will set the tone that clients see, they will know me, they will want to hire me. That is the goal. I can see the goal, I can taste it. I’m excited to create the graphic of myself fishing in the pond of amazing creative ideas for their design. It is going to be awesome.

But structured content creation is not the creative process I relish the most. I love rewriting and editing. I love creating graphics, designing websites. I love analyzing other people’s words for the different meanings the audience might accidentally construe, providing advice and searching the lexicon for the perfect marketing words. I love messing with photos and playing with video editing.

And it is this joy that I must keep in mind as I wade through my puddle of content, slowly straining out the gold pieces and setting them next to each other till I have a castle of sorts. A glorious castle that I’m proud to share.

Oh yes, that is the goal.

to my readers: a contest

Please help me.

1.I am in dire need of a title to a soap opera.
2.I still sleep on the living room floor.
3.My confidence is shaken.

Let’s address these points in reverse order.

3.My confidence is shaken.

Honestly, I don’t know what you can do about this. Let’s move on, but have it be acknowledged. You can even feel sorry for me a little bit if you like.

2.I still sleep on the living room floor.

Now, I know that I was the cheap one that wanted to live, well…cheaply. But I’m over it. What makes matters worse is that I’m an absolute germaphobe. Really. And this is not a clean living room floor. Many of you have stepped exactly where I sleep with all sorts of BART residue, excrement, what-have-you on your shoes. How do you think that makes me feel when I awake during the night to realize I’ve rolled off my foot-wide camping mat? Well, quite paranoid, actually.

1.I am in dire need of a title to a soap opera. Now this is important.

I have been searching the world for a title to a soap opera, with no luck. As a result, I’m turning to you, my readers, capricious as you may be.

So, anyway, a good soap opera title. It needs to be catchy, and have a good acronym (like DOOL). Plus extra points for being norCal relevant. Submissions will be judged by a committee of fifteen. If you’d like to sit on this committee, let me know.

What do you get out of it?! I’ll put your name somewhere someplace mixed into my top secret project. Next to the produce section of the supermarket. There your name will be: in large captial letters. Title by ______ (insert your name). That could be you! Or your name, anyway.

Participation is NOT optional. Post suggestions as comments on this post. And please remember that I have an invisible stat counter, so I know:

a.) what IP address you’re coming from. Not only does that IP address uniquely identify the computer at which you sit, but I also get a map of the world with a little red dot pointing out exactly where you are.

b.) how many returning visitors that I get. I can compare this number to the number of comments posted on this post, and easily conclude who has and has not posted a suggestion. So, if you’re thinking about skirting this particular duty, know that I’ll track you down. I have already. I know, it’s freaky. But, really, I don’t have much to do. I’m actually really terrified of this blogging habit I’ve developed. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I get a job where I actually have to work.

And you don’t even have to leave my your name! It’s totally fine with me if right by the eggplants, the sign reads:


Or you can reclaim it later. I’m flexible. I might demand proof though, so you might plan ahead.

Oh, and I added a link to the right that says “friends&siblings.” If you want to be a friend/sibling, just let me know. I’ll link to any profile be it myspace, Russian bride, lesbos-for-peace, whatever.

(If Meatwad doesn’t have a friendster profile, such would be a gross, gross oversight on the part of the younger generation, don’t you agree?)