The pool party didn’t happen, so I haven’t seen Dave. This Saturday, Sara and I are leaving to go to Colorado to visit Grandma. We’ll come back next Sat. I’m looking forward to the plane ride, but a week with Sara and Grandma! I’ll have fun, I know. I just have to be extra careful not to let Sara get on my nerves.

In exactly three weeks, I will have completed a day of hell. Back to school! I have some of my school supplies, but I wish it wouldn’t be starting so soon. I enjoy school, but I don’t like not knowing if I’ll know people in any of my classes. Also there’s the busing. I said I didn’t want to carpool with Jessica and Christy and Believe me, that’s true! But, I will only know Katie on the bus. I was thinking I could carpool with Emily, but I don’t think that’s going to work out.

I know that when riding the bus, I’ll meet lots of new people, and make friends, but I would perfer a carpool with Emily. Well, I don’t know. I really want my freedom this year, and comiting myself to another carpool might not be the best idea. I like being able to make split second decisions to go over to someone’s house, and a carpool would greatly interfere with that.

I’M GOING TO BE ORGANIZED THIS YEAR!

There it’s in writing. I’ve promised myself, I’m going to stay organized all year. Every year, I’ve started out organized, but then I got unorganized and could never find anything! Not this year.

Maybe I’ll carpool with Emily for the first week or so of school and then try out the bus. It might not be so bad.

I pray I know someone in my P.E. class. I’m not worried about any other classes. I really hope that I know someone. I need to share a big locker with someone! It would be hella cool if the entire cool group had P.E. together! I hope we all eat together.

I don’t know what to do about Dave. Emily has this magic eight ball and it says that he’s considering me more than a friend but he doesn’t like me. But he likes Emily. I don’t trust the fortune-telling sphere, but I am worried. He may not like Emily, but I’m pretty sure he likes Nat.

Here’s why:

-He tells two people in the entire world who he likes and they’re Nat. and his best friend who lives in some other town. What does he tell me? It says that either Natalie has somehow majorly earned his trust or that he tells her to get close to her.

-He’s always insulting her. Usually that’s a cover for true feelings.

I don’t have another reason except that he flirts with everyone!

I don’t know if Dave likes Em, but believe me, I’m going to watch for clues. With Natalie, too.

I really don’t want to risk rejection again. I’m going to lay off liking him. Or try to! Hey, I asked Robbie out, I know what rejection is like! Just about every guy I’ve liked has somehow rejected me. I’m not going to let it get out that I like him. Somehow Keri F. knows. I’m still trying to figure it out. Oh well. O hate my life. Nothing is happening. In the guy part at least. I’ve given up hope with me + Dave. It’s not going to work out. I’m sure that at ice skating when Em said he was checking me out it was just her imagination.

Hopelessly Yours,

Jennifer Heller

For some reason, newly 13-year-old Jen thinks it’s March, even though this entry falls between two August entries and she talks about going back to school. What gives?

Hello! Tomorrow afternoon, I get to hop on a plane that’s going to take me to Colorado. A week later, I will be on a plane back here. The monday after that, I will be getting my schedule. Another week will fly by, and after four more days, the four last days of rest and relaxation, I’m back into a place called school, but more commonly referred to as hell. LUCKY ME!

No, I’m kidding. School won’t be that bad. I’ll get to see everyone I’ve missed so terribly over the summer. And I’ll get to meet a whole new set of teachers. A year of studying and socializing (my favorite part!) will follow. I like school, but I don’t like the beginning. I don’t like not being secure in the fact of knowing everybody in your classes. I like the 2nd quarter and the rest of the year. You know everybody, you know your teachers. You follow the same routine daily. I don’t like change! But change is necessary. I’m in 8th grade! I can’t believe it! When I was in 6th grade, all the eighth graders looked so huge. And now, all the sixth graders are going to look so small! We’re the big ones. We rule the school. We’re the ones who look big to the younger students. In a year, I’ll be 14 and in high school! I swear, it’s happening so fast. Too fast. Oh, well.

I SWEAR, that I shall have had a boyfriend before I turn 14!

I SWEAR IT!? !? !?

Hopefully yours,

Jennifer Heller

Here I am in Denver. Well, Lakewood to be specific. I’m having a pretty good time.

Last night I had the most amazing dream:

For some reason, I had been declared a juvenile delinquent and was in

Never mind. I’ll tell you later.

Bonne nuit,

Jennifer Heller

Today, I went to get my schedule. I got back from Colorado on Saturday. My schedule is okay. Here it is:

1° English, Brennan
2° Health, Forbes
3° Gate History, Parker
4t° Advanced Band 1
5° Lunch
6° Art 2D, Lightfoot
7° PE, Papazian
8° Algebra, Kreutzer
9° (Advise) Brennen

I don’t know anyone in all my classes. What I mean is that in some of my classes, I don’t know anyone in them. The ones that I know someone in are: English, History, Band, Lunch, and that’s it! That leaves |5|classes! Of course the other half of the school doesn’t have theirs yet! So, they still might be in my classes.

I’ll tell you about what happened in Colorado tomorrow.

Hopefully yours,

Jennifer Heller

Howdy Dudey! Natalie’s pool party is tomorrow. Emily is over. DAVE IS IN MY P.E. CLASS!!! I know that there’s really nothing wrong with that. Hey, if he doesn’t know anyone in the class and neither do I, we could hang out together all year.

The magic eight ball said that Dave likse Natalie and that Natalie likes Dave. The magic eight ball also just informed me that I’ll go out with Dave. I hope so! Wait, it changed it’s mind. Oh well. I don’t believe it anyway.

Everyone is coming tomorrow. I’m glad.

But, after tomorrow, comes THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! I went to Target today and I got two hella cute vests! I really hope this year is the best yet.

All weekend I worked on rearranging my room. It is really clean and the new way the furniture is positioned is so cool. The floor is spotless, except 4 Emily who is taking up a lot of it. That was pointless, huh? Erika is back and we have 0, zero classes together. Oh well.

I finished my black + white swimsuit a few days ago, and I’m wearing it tomorrow.

Wish me luck 4 tomorrow,
Jennifer Heller

(Jennifer G.H. Heller, prospective serial killer if nothing changes in her <3 life)

Oh yes, she went there!

The pool party was a lot of fun. That sounds corny. I meant that it was hella fun. Predictions say that the world is ending today. I don’t think it’s going to happen. So this party was the End of Summer & End of The World Party.

I don’t know if I like Dave anymore. I was looking at him in the beginning of the party, and I realized that the only feelings I have for him are ones of a good friend. But those feelings could have been because of the feelings around at the time. I don’t know. Well, I’ll see him tomorrow and very often until June 17 of 1995. I think I can figure out my feelings by then. (That was to be read with sarcasticness)

I can’t believe school starts TOMORROW! I just don’t believe it. Today was so great, I just want to repeat it over and over again. I know I can’t though.

I’m just praying that my eighth grade year is my best yet!

Now, I’m going to fill you in on the details of the party. (no sense) O.K., well, for starts, Natalie told us (Em+me) about a dream she had yesterday. She told us on the phone yesterday. I’ll cut to the chase. She (in her dream) overheard a girl ask Jordan if he had something stuck in his eye yet. Nat knew that when he said that, it meant that he and her would go down and make out. So, all afternoon, Em, Nat and I would ask the guys if they had something stuck in their eye yet. The guys just looked at us in bewilderment. It was hilarious.

Dave was pretty down the whole party so Em + I told him his feet stank a few times. Last night, I read a book that said that this girl asked her best friend if her feet stank whenever she (the friend) was down. It was so stupid yet it always made her smile. So Dave cracked a smile when we said it though he had no idea why we did.

Dave kept pushing me and everyone else in to the pool. Jordan or Doug would come to the rescue if their girlfriend was pushed in. It kinda made me a little jealous.

I think the reason Dave was kinda down was because he didn’t like seeing Nat + Jordan together. It’s just an assumption, though. I’m not going to dwell on it though.

I still can’t believe I have to go to school tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Luv always,

Jennifer G. Heller, 8th grader as of tomorrow.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I guess I made it out to be worse than it really was. The day wasn’t wonderful, but it went well. I think I can make this year a good one.

I’m not sure if I ever liked Dave. And I didn’t fall in love today (unfortunately!). Maybe tomorrow. (Yeah right)

It was really wierd going back to school

Bye,

Jennifer G. Heller

Lunch is different. It’s wierd with everyone together. Dave, Doug & Jordan are eating with us. Jordan is in my Language Arts & P.E. classes.

Back to lunch. Natalie asked if she could talk to me, but I regret to say that I was a bad friend and didn’t. I thought she wanted to talk about Dave and I, when she wanted to talk about her and Jordan. Later I saw Em and her talking alone. I walked over to see what was going on. Em basically told me to butt out. I felt a surge of hurt and anger run through me. Emily told me that she would tell me everything she said later. I said that I didn’t want to hear it from her and pushed her, since that’s what we’ve been doing. I meant it to be a joking gesture but I guess when I’m hurt, I’m a lot stronger than normal. She said that it hurt, pushed me back angrily and told me to get lost.

Then, after school, she pretends nothing happened. I decided not to call either of them although I really need to pour out my heart to someone. Who can you talk to when both of your best friends hurt you?!

My art class is hell. Do you know what it’s like to be in a class where there are only six girls and you don’t know anyone really well? Or to be in a health class where your teacher treats you like a teachers pet wants you to TA for her? Well it’s hell. I also don’t know anyone in my health class but Mrs. Forbes had me work with Pat S. I was supposed to do the last 15 questions and he do the first 15. He had them finished. Mrs. Forbes had us work together after I had already done the first 10. I felt like an imbisol because I was only on 20 and he had the first 15 done. I barely know anyone in my P.E. class except for Emily C, Jordan and Dave. Michael S. is in it, but he doesn’t count. My love life is going nowhere and it doesn’t help having Michael S. rubbing it in every P.E. period.

I realize now that Dave has eyes only for Natalie and that if he ever looked beyond Natalie I probably wouldn’t even be considered a friend.

I really need to talk to someone. I’m ready to burst out crying any second. Erika never returned my call and both my best friends, well, I can’t talk to them about them. And I’m sick of Emily’s insults. OK, so they’re not meant to be insults, but they come out as insults. I really don’t mind the jokes but it’s just everyday things that she says. I swear, I wish I was somewhere else just floating on a wonderful lake without a care in the world.

Tearfully yours,

Jennifer Heller

(Jennifer Heller, soon to be in Guiness Book of World Records for getting the oldest in the world without a boyfriend)

I would have been in good company.

Today before school, Doug asked Natalie if she knew why M dumped him. I was there. Nat and I were thouroughly confused and we questioned him. He said that last night, M called him & dumped him. I was hurt because Em hadn’t talked to me about it

Not to worry, folks. 8th grade me is on the case.

Well after advise. I talk to M and she denies doing it. It was really wierd. At lunch we asked everyone where they were at 4:30 yesterday afternoon which is when the call took place. Everyone denied it. After school M tells me about how Becki R.’s mom got a phone call from a person, a girl, who wanted to talk to Becki so they could get Doug’s #! Well, I had it all figured out. I figured it was Ana. It all fit. But then tonight, Em got a call from Joe P. who told her to call Doug. He claimed to be one of Doug’s friends. M called Doug and yep, that’s right, Doug doesn’t know any such person. Now I’m not so sure that Ana did it. I’m just confused. Who would want to mess with M’s life like that? At first I thought that someone liked Doug or M and wanted to break them up, but now, after the second phone call, I have no idea!

Nothing’s been happening in my life. Jordan and I are a lot better friends now. He’s a loner in P.E., and sometimes, I’ll go talk to him, or he’ll come talk to me. I’m not very good friends with Doug though. He’s kinda withdrawn. He doesn’t get hyper like us. We’ve all been eating together. Dave steals food from everyone. He stole Nat’s whole lunch, so he bought her some skittles. That scared me.

Taste that terrifying rainbow!

If he’s buying her skittles, that could mean he’s just plain guilty or he really likes her. Then there’s Katie. He’s always taking things out of her backpack and it makes me suspicious. I’m not even sure if I like Dave though. I’m positive he doesn’t like me. Dave & I basically ignore each other in P.E. We might as well be in different periods. I need to find someone to fall in <3 with. At lunch, I was sitting next to a guy who was cute. I have no idea who in the hell he was. In fact, I don’t know who in the hell any of the people who eat with us are. There’s just too many! I don’t like it. I wish it was just the six of us and a few more. But, since everyone has the same lunch, the group fills up to two tables. Mostly girls. It’s like 6 guys to 15-20 girls. Which isn’t good, since Dave flirts with every one of them. Oh well. I got my picture taken today, and tomorrow, I get to try out the tuba at lunch! That’ll be cool.

8th grade me putting her second year of French to good use.

Au revoir,

Jennifer Heller

(I hope you can read this)