Longmont, Colorado

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

A strange sense of obligation brought me here.

My ninety year old grandmother.

I realize today, she has given me much more than my love for swimming and a method for slicing bananas.

It is from her that I inherit my tireless scheming, my devotion to people and my propensity for get rich quick schemes.

I just now realized it.

She once invented a game called “Odds and Evens”. It teaches kids in a visual way about math. It’s great. I played it all the time as a little girl.

When my mother and her sisters cleaned out her garage a few years ago, they found three boxes filled with Odds and Evens. Grandma had produced a ton of them to try and sell them to other local schools.

Can’t you completely see me doing that?!!

Another box was filled with unsold copies of her cookbook, Cooking Under Pressure. It was not about cooking when stressed, rather it detailed recipes utilizing the pressure cooker.

I don’t have a pressure cooker, but I do have plans for…

and also…

not to forget…

and you know what?

If my grandmother accomplished three daughters and two get rich quick schemes,

and if that’s roughly what I get around to…

That’s okay with me.

hmm…

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Hello Susie,

My name is J and my partners name is K. I am 42, she is 30. We are fun loving intellectual hedonists who are on the look out for like minded individuals and couples who are kinky, creative, funny, food snobs, who would rather die than be bored. SOme of the things we are into are photography (me, it’s my profession as well as consuming passion), BOOKS (we are both voracious readers, I usually have 2 or 3 books going at the same time) tarot and astrology (her), playing music (me) listening to music, both recorded and live (both of us, preferably in a dark sleazy bar), cinema, interesting restaurants, witty repartee and if the mood is right, no holds barred, dirty kinky sex. If that sounds good to you, then by all means get back to us…

J

PS: I almost forgot to mention that we love to travel as well as host our “special” friends for decadent weekends and evenings

PSS: I wear size 10 shoes and I have almost as many of them as a girl!

I'm boring lately, huh?

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

So the Guster now sleeps on my bed the entire night. We’ve figured out a way for me not to kick him and yet have enough room.

Apparently, he used to sleep with my sister. Apparently, she was also subject to his requisit morning make out.

Every morning, as soon as I’m awake–and I’m saying, “as soon as I’m awake”, meaning, not only when my alarm clock rings but as soon as I open my eyes after seven–he perks up. Perks up and then there he is, purr purr purr, and in my face. “Good morning, Guster,” I say.

Purr purr purr purr NUZZLE. And his nose is now somehow inside my nose. His whiskers brushing my cheeks.

Now I am not awake yet. I’m far from it. This morning it was seven thirty! (Not my wake up time, suckas! I go to work at ten. Most days.) I said, “Guster, it’s not make out time yet” and I pulled the covers over me. He took the hint.

Until my alarm clock range. And this time I, too, was feeling amorous. Ooooh Guster. Let me nuzzle you back. Ooohh you little sweetness. Yes, what a pretty day. Look at those clouds. (I can see clouds out my bedroom window!! My new place is saw-eet!)

I know he drools when he’s especially loving. I know this from experience. And this morning, he drooled in my nose. Grosser than on my pillow, grosser then on my cheek (though those are both pretty gross). IN MY NOSE.

Gross.

for the last two and a half weeks,

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I haven’t had a working refridgerator.

Last time I moved, it took awhile to get a working refridgerator too. Turned out the previous tenants had turned the fridge off to listen to classical music. No joke.

This time the fan was broken.

Now, I like food. I spent the last year living off of a diet of primarily sausages and steamed vegetables. I’ve since developed a sincere aversion to sausages. Anything but!

I find that two to three cups of greens a day (steamed or otherwise) keeps me going. Any less and the alkaline level in my blood stream drops low and I smoke packs of cigarettes to compensate.

The point: Moving coupled with no fridge coupled with hella work coupled with god knows what else and I’ve been a wreck.

We’re all moved in though, and I had my three cups today.

I feel better.

I gave this guy my campershell…met him off craigslist…unrequieted love at first sight, I suppose….

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

From: R.
i hope that you are free and willing to get to know each-other in a healthy sincere fashion. :-} cz if there is someone else loving you..i won’t bother you.
7:10pm 7/19/07

From: R.
happy Friday , bonita..! ^0^
7:22am 7/20/07

From: R.
happy Sunday prescious..! 😉
9:57am 7/22/07

From: R.
lovely day.! 😉 could u sent me a sign so I know u r alive , prescious susie.?
7:47am 7/23/07

From: R.
gracias .. i am just tasting our little second rendez-vouz.:^) and i want to fix your truck for a smile.? :-\
11:35am 7/23/07

From: R.
Just say si..and i will fly over there to get you.!^0^
11:45am 7/23/07

From: R.
When can we get together you, i and nature..a nice little adventures date.? ~:-|
3:43pm 7/23/07

From: R.
Feliz dia , bonita.! ^0^
7:47am 7/25/07

From: R.
i will love to see u smiling.! :^)
1:22pm 7/25/07

From: R.
Any beauty there? 😀
4:20pm 7/25/07