…I’m going to learn all of my friends, family and lovers’ buttons and how to behave so I never push them, making all our existences more harmonious and strife-free. Man, I am such an altruist.
Should you, Dear Reader, want to write an essay explaining how a change in my behavior might make our relationship more harmonious, I recommend using the Sandwich Method to write your essay. Start by saying something really really nice about me (or our relationship), follow it with the criticism, and end by saying something even nicer. I reserve the right to rebut, and promise to likewise employ the Sandwich Method.