At one time I was corresponding with a nice fellow about a part time job in radio advertising. I would have at least gotten an interview, if the job hadn’t been out of town–and if I hadn’t figured out (after at least ten emails), that the radio station was Christian talk radio. Due to the overwhelming response a Craigslist ad invariably produces, I was asked to come up with a sixty second spot selling myself. Apparently, once you get a job in radio advertising, you never have to look for another job again. The following is my attempt to secure myself a place in a definitive industry:
Male voice, gruffly: WANTED: Marketing and Advertising Assistant
Female voice: FOUND: Fun, creative and outgoing personality perfect for radio
Male voice, skeptically: Convince me.
Female voice: No problem.
(Beat begins, female voice beings rapping)
I’m Susie J. and I’m here to say
Your radio advertising begins today
With my unique blend of art and style,
Customers will flock for miles.
I’m great with people–no one will deny,
Those we’ve never met will give us a try.
With a storehouse of ideas that never runs out,
Our customers will hardly pout.
I’ll push the station to number one,
And along way, we’ll all have fun.
My telephone skills are beyound compare,
So new clients, I’m sure to snare.
My customer service skills are where it’s at,
I’ll definitely keep them all coming back.
My creativity is sure to inspire.
Our contracts will not expire.
If you want someone who thinks outside the box,
Ms. J’s your woman, she really rocks.
So remember, don’t touch that dial!
I’ll go that extra mile.
Male voice, convinced: Hmm…very convincing.
Female Voice: Remember, call Susie J. at 555-RADS for all your radio advertising and marketing needs!