comcastic

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today I was surfing the internets as one does, and came across an article in consumerist about a mystery fee that Comcast apparently leverages on customers in order to have the customers contact them and complain.  Apparently the fee is only leveraged on accounts whose initial offer of discounted prices has expired.  If I understand it correctly, it’s a flag for the customer support representative so they will know to raise that person’s monthly cost.

So this raises all sorts of red flags about Comcast as a company.  With all the money Comcast is making, why aren’t they keeping better track of the people’s whose initial offers expired?  From a business perspective that’s just ludicrous. I’ve myself had to call about mystery charges of minimal amounts (though they never raised the price of my service as a result).  I can’t stand how they waste their money on direct mail advertising to me, someone who is already their customer (for internet anyway).

All these thoughts ran through my mind today when I read that article, but the main one that stuck was: The Daily Show might be back from vacation*, Mad Men is going to start soon, and we have spent weeks mulling over and still haven’t picked a cable option!

I read the article, then turned to Will, and said, “Why don’t we just go with Comcast since we already have their internet set up and the $99 initial offer is one of the better ones we have been considering?”

He agreed, and I called Comcast, had a five minute conversation with the costumer service rep and wound up with an appointment for the technician to come out Friday at 7:30 am.  I couldn’t resist sneaking in a quip about the lack of other options, which I know will get me nowhere in finding a local business with reputable values to support.

Apparently I am terrifyingly proof that all PR is good PR.

*We know we can watch the Daily Show online, FYI.  We like the tv better, ok?

Does Steve like me? That is the main subject on my mind.

Originally Written on May 26, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Does Steve like me? That is the main subject on my mind. If he likes me why won’t he ask me out? Tim doesn’t seem to be afraid to ask girls out. Is Steve nice? I don’t know. I wish I dared tell someone I like him. Kelly seems to be avoiding me lately. She doesn’t go on any walks anymore. I would tell her about Steve.

I’m having day dreams about Steve asking me out. It would be a Friday. I would have just walked into the school yard when Steve would step in front of me and say: “Jennifer can I talk to you? Alone.” Kelly would leave. Steve would then ask me out, nervously, I would consider for a few minutes ask if it was a joke and then say “maybe.” Is Steve considering asking me out? Continue Reading

Of Penguins and Theatre

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Last January, I concocted a plan. My great friend John was starting up his theatre company, Hella Fresh Theatre. I was in the process of designing his website for him, which features a penguin very prominently. I decided that John absolutely needed an actual penguin mascot to be present for the first performance.

I had a few cubic feet of roving wool I had picked up while working as a Super Sponge Saleswoman and a needle felting tool. Now, for those of you who have never needle felted (and really, why would you?), it is a slow and laborious process. You use a needle felting tool (which consists of a few barbed needles) and you poke a puff of wool many, many, many hundreds and hundreds of times to sculpt that which you’ve decided to sculpt. Continue Reading

No, Seriously

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’m serious this year.

I have evaluated my goals and priorities and preparing for the Halloween karaoke contest is pretty close to #1. The actual #1 priority is and has been, unfortunately, predisposed with survival. And keeping the house clean.

I’m taking voice lessons.  I think this summer I will take up tap dance again–perhaps have a little routine for my song come October.  But let me be clear–I will not come in 23rd again this year.

Last year:

Continue Reading

Jamie likes Steve. That’s something we have in common.

Originally Written on May 25, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’m confused. Ana didn’t know who Steve is. She is in love big time. She’s making me be the writer for her notes. Now Peter thinks I like him. Ana says I have the neatest handwriting in the whole fifth grade. Is it true? Does Steve know?

I'm sure that Steve realized that my handwriting was in fact the neatest of everyone in the entire fifth grade.

I’m sure that Steve realized that my handwriting was in fact the neatest of everyone in the entire fifth grade.

Jamie likes Steve. That’s something we have in common. Does Steve like me? He’s been on my mind all weekend. Steve is one of the only boys in the fifth grade that doesn’t like somebody. Maybe he doesn’t like someone or likes someone but doesn’t tell anyone.

For the Barnyard Boogie I was with Brendan. What is it, fate?

Originally Written on May 22, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Steve is cute. I think. I’m not sure. Nobody else thinks so. I do not know why I’m attracted to him. He likes me. I think. Larearta says so. On the dusk hike I caught him looking at me. I was laughing. I wonder what was going through his brain. If Steve likes me does Tim know?

Am I pretty?

Is it wrong to like Adrien too? Adrien’s smart. I guess Steve got two B’s and two C’s. I’m not sure. He could have gotten straight F’s or A’s. Not that I want a roket sciencetist, but I want at least one B.

Yes, I just misspelled "rocket" and "scientist" while weighing the importance of my crush's intelligence.

Yes, I just misspelled “rocket” and “scientist” while weighing the importance of my crush’s intelligence.

During Outdoor Ed I was always with Brendan. On the trust walk I was with Shawn. In boy-girl circles I was with Brendan. For the Barnyard Boogie I was with Brendan. What is it, fate? Brendan’s going with Liz, so how come I’m stuck with him?

Outdoor Ed was a week-long overnight camp for 5th graders. The trust walk is where one person is blind folded and you have to hold hands with your partner--a big deal for a young girl!

Outdoor Ed was a week-long overnight camp for 5th graders. The trust walk is where one person is blind folded and you have to hold hands with your partner–a big deal for a young girl!

I’m growing up. I can feel it. Am I pretty? Nanet and Tasha seemed to think so. I don’t know. I’m confused. Next year I’ll be in sixth grade at Pleasanton Middle School. What if I don’t get good grades? What if I have no friends? What if no boys ask me to the dances? I wish Christina was going to P.M.S.

Seriously, the acronym for my middle school was "P.M.S."

Seriously, the acronym for my middle school was “P.M.S.”

The Diary Project

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Last August I got it into my head that it would be a good idea to release my series of thirteen (thirteen!) journals as a blog exactly eighteen years later. Uncensored.

Since then, I’ve gone every which way on the question, “Is this a good idea?”

After much deliberation, I decided to change the names of my compatriots and leave everything else UNCENSORED.

Now, I ask you, as I begin to release these journals…

poll by twiigs.com

some cartoon in me

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I have been wanting to try my hand at a self-portrait.

I’m not really sure how it’s going.

I have been planning this portrait for many weeks, and when I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was going to start on it the other evening, he said, “You know, I’m not entirely on board with this self-portrait plan. You paint pets!”

He was worried, as was I, that I would be terrible at painting a person. But, I explained, that was the adventure in it! Perhaps I will be–but I have to find out!

I was not prepared, however, for the end of the evening, when I couldn’t even look at it. That’s how terrible my self-portrait was turning out. At first I was so easy to paint–I know myself well. And I had the self-portraits of Van Gogh for inspiration. What could be easier?

It wasn’t easy. I haven’t been able to pick it back up, but my parents have assured me that it’s worth finishing. I said to my mom, “Mom! I look like a cartoon!” and she said, “Well, honey, you do have some cartoon in you.”

let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old life

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I’ve been going through my blog for a couple months now…adding photos, fixing the links. Trying to figure out where the line is between appropriate and inappropriate. In my dreams I actively promote this website. My dreams are fun. Most of the time.

I had a dream of working for myself. Doing what I wanted with my time. When I left my job, I was so excited. I felt like rest of my life was just beginning.

Well, here I am. I work for myself. On rainy days it’s hard to even leave the house. It’s a very solitary existence. I didn’t really think about that, and it’s taken me months to notice. This week, though, with the rain and the constant sirens (Californians can’t handle driving in the rain)…

I’m confronted with my very extrovert nature. I like people. I need people. I get my energy from them, my enthusiasm, my inspiration.

My dream was never lonely. My dream was pure fun.

Even all my creative projects don’t seem fun anymore, without people. It all seems like work. It all seems like sitting here, all by myself, with just my computer and my google chat.

This is it. It’s the end. From now on, no more lonesome old life. Time to figure something out that will work. I’ll meet people at cafes and have work buddies. I’ll plan walk around the lake lunches with my other self-employed friends.

And that’s a plan.