I hate school dances. I’m crying. The only guy I danced with was Jeff M. Alexis broke up with him today so it was okay. Ana asked him to dance with me. He was outside drinking when the song started, so we didn’t dance the whole song through. While we were dancing he asked,
How may people have you danced with?” Me: “Just you.” “What about the other dances?”

“Two guys in the sixth grade dance last time.”

“Why don’t you ask someone?”

“I don’t know.”

“I ask people I don’t even know!”

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll say no?”

“Noone’s said no yet”

“Oh” That made me feel really bad. Continue Reading

You will never believe what happened! I ran 3 laps w/out stopping! I’ve never ran 2 let alone 3! Then I got to play basketball. I <3 PE! Except for one thing. Now that Emily and Alexis are out of PE, I get to hang around with Jessica, Christy and their new friend Nikki! Annoyance city! Jessica ad Christy are paying more attention to Nikki than to me! I hate being ignored!0

Tamara is having a party Saturday night and I’m not invited. I don’t exactly feel hurt, but… Emily says Tamara was only allowed to invite a limited amount of people, but still…

Alexis says she doesn’t want to go out with Jeff anymore but she doesnt want to dump him. Oh, well! Tomorrow I get to wear my costume to school. I <3 Halloween Tomorrow night I have the dance, and I still don’t know what to wear! C’est la vie! (I don’t care, Emily)

Toodaloo

Such a sunny send off complete with ridiculous smiley faces. I was 12, after all.

On Sun. Alexis, Jeff, Billy, and I were going to get together, right? Now, there’s a change in the plans. Billy is going to ask someone out so it will probably be a double date. The new plans don’t include me! What if Billy is going to ask me out? I don’t consider him more than a friend. The day before yesterday Billy asked Kelly H. out and she said, “Kiss my ass!” What a rejection. Billy’s been really upset. He can’t take another rejection! I can’t say no and I can’t say yes! What am I supposed to do? I am not interested in him at all romantically! He’s just a friend.

Later on…

Great news! Well, depends who you are. For Natalie, yes. Billy asked her out! O.K. news for me. Now I don’t have to worry about what to say, but it’s just another rejection. What does that make it the tenth? I can’t stop liking Andrew C. til I find someone else to like. But who?

What’s wrong with me? Is Alexis always going to get the guys? Am I going to have to go til High school without even being asked out? Well I’ve been asked out twice. But they were jokes. Again I ask, What’s Wrong with me? Last week Erica said to me, “plenty of guys like you.” If that’s so how come they don’t show it. I must attract all the shy ones. Rejected again!

Damn!

Hello! Nothing special happening here. I’m just sitting around with Emily. Guess what I don’t like Andrew C. no more. Isn’t that great? I mean if he asked, I’d go out with him! Of course. Now I don’t know who to like. Maybe I’ll like David M. He’s in my advisement class. Nah, Erica likes him. I won’t. Well maybe…

Scool’s boring so TGIS! Becky wrote and asked: Has any guys asked you out yet? Doesn’t she think she’d know if they had?

I want to have a date for the Halloween Dance. (normal name for once!) I thought I’d be going to it w/ Andrew. Oh well. Maybe I’ll have better luck with guys this time.

Bonsoir! Tonight I had to call Amy, Becky, Erika G, and Jenny. It was so wierd talking to Amy on the phone. Here I was talking to the person I’d give anything to be better-than-acquaintences with and I was uncomfortable. Talking to Becki was cool though, she’s so sweet!

No improvements in me and Andrew. I don’t think I like him anymore but I might. Last night I had something like a mental breakdown. I was crying and my mom wasn’t someone I could talk to about it.

Au revoir!

Today Emily asked Andrew if he liked me. He said “no!” Worse yet he said it with scorn! The thing is that I’m to shaken to be upset. I’m still trying to believe he said no! He wasn’t in my dreams. Well, yes he was. The thing is I don’t even know what his face looks like! Can you like a guy if you don’t remember what they look like? Now he knows I like him. Well, he doesn’t know exactly, but he can figure it out. He’s smart.

I’m homesick today. Cool huh? NOT! I have the biggest headache in the whole world. Last night I had something close to a mental break-down. Last night I dreamed about Andrew C. I didn’t like the dream cause even though we were going out Andrew C. also liked Emily. Not good. Tonight I’m going ice-skating. I love to ice skate. It just lets me forget all of my problems.

I hate the fucking crap out of Ana. I hate her more than Emily hates Jennifer M. for going out with Jeff. I’m just glad Andrew C. isn’t going out with anybody.

Today after science Andrew goes to the six-hundred building and I go to band. Anyway Andrew was getting pushed around by his usual friends (the cliche) I (of course) was watching him. I had been watching him for about two seconds and he looked at me! Our eyes met and it was wonderful! Too bad it was only for a few seconds, though!

I’m in Love

Note how I switched to pink ink for “I’m in Love” and followed it by a flock of floating hearts.

PS: Ana likes Jeff M! (geek alert! beep, beep!)

I’m so confused.  I really like Andrew C.  Last year he liked me.  Does he still?  I hope he does.  Ana is such a BITCH!  I hate her more than words can express.  I wish she would curl up and die.  I swear I do.  I would not be sad in the lesat bit if she died.  Except maybe cause I didn’t have the chance to kill her!

Erica G. said that she heard two people that she didn’t know very well talking about my liking Andy.  This was in the beg. of the school year.  I wonder who? Erica knows most of my friends, so…

Alexis said that my liking Andy was “old news.” What is that supposed to mean?  Really! She shouldn’t talk, though.  She likes Steve M. You know that already, huh? Oh, well.  Nicole H. is going out with Tyson B., who is the most popular guy at PMS.  I see them before lunch, Frenching! Today I learned (From Ana who wasn’t supposed to tell) that she likes Kevin Spinner!  After the boyfriend she has Kevin (Geek alert!) would be a major dissapointment.

Emily gave me her monkey stuffed animal.  That was nice of her!  She’s been a real friend lately.