“That is what parenting is: wiping someone’s butt for a while.”

“It’s the right decision because it’s the decision you made.”

“All people can be assholes. All nationalities.”

– Jen

“Having an unhappy customer is a good thing… that means someone bought something.”

– the ever-wise Jen

“Life is being tagged in things you don’t want to be tagged in.”

– Jen

“I’m, like, tired.”

“You are the only one who knows when beer o’clock is.”

– Jen Heller

“If you died tomorrow, wouldn’t you want to have a good beer today?”

– the ever wise Jen

“No one likes being broken up with.”