Becky is gone. Again. It feels like it never happened. It was really great seeing her, and I know that our friendship will never end. But I did and with seeing her, I realized how important her friendship is to me. I know I’ll see her again.
Now I’m scared. Of eight grade. I know that it’ll be the same as it always has been. But after my eighth grade year, we’re moving. And I believe it. The money will come very soon and then we’ll buy a house that’s being built. We saw it today. It’s huge. We’ll spend the school year in that house and then we’re gone for awhile, I wanted to move. I wanted to make a fresh start at a new school. I could figure out who the “happy group” people are and fall into their circle. I could do that. But I love my friends. I don’t want to leave them. This year is going to be my last year with them and I’m going to make it my best. But there are the normal worries and for some STUPID reason I’m worrying about them: What if I don’t know anyone in my classes; What if my friends ditch me + make me a loner; well you get the idea. What is 5th per. lunch like. It’s the same as 7th, I know. It’s going to be so cool, having all of my friends at the same lunch. I don’t want to drift away from any of my friends. I’m not going to worry about eighth grade right now. In about half a month, maybe!
I think I’m going to lay off the Dave thing 4 a while. I find myself thinking about him too much. A few days ago, I really scared myself by thinking that I loved him. I like him, but I don’t love him. I can’t love him. I’m going to try to stop liking him. I have to face the fact that right now a relationship isn’t in the cards for us. A friendship maybe, but not a relationship. I’m sure that when school starts I’ll meet a hella sweet, hella scrumptuous (that’s my new word — means fine) guy. And fall in love. But until then, I’m kinda giving up on Dave. I swear, it’s like I’m obsessed with him. And I don’t like that. There are some guys in summer school. None that I could ever have some interest in. But on Mon, I think I’ll take a look.
Good bye and Good Nite!