from this nonprofit I send money to. I like to think of it like I’m sending money straight to my adopted daughter in Vietnam, but I know it’s not really like that.
I sent her some colored pencils and a coloring book for her birthday. That wasn’t what the card was about though.
It’s been one year since I began supporting Nguyen. My thirty dollars a month makes so much available in her life.
That’s me. Philanthropic.
That’s me. Self-indulgent.
I had a conversation today about the nature of personality. It was my most favorite conversation today. And I had some doosies.
(How does one spell “doosies”? I’ve never known.)
Are we each a unique bundle of characteristics? Isn’t that what makes us each who we are? But if so, how many can change and yet can we still be the same?
And if not characteristics, then cells? No, cells are replaced in time. We are what we eat, and we grow out of our transient nutrients. The body is such a wonderfully dependable system.
Is the personality such a wonderfully dependable system?
Today, I’m freaking out. A week ago, I was ecstatic. Complete.
How funny how time goes.
In my cult the other day, we wrote down what we know about ourselves. For instance, I wrote, “I like to drink in airport bars and I abandoned my cat.” And so on for a half page or so.
Presumably, when I get my cat from my mom and dad’s on Friday, that particular characteristic will cease to be true.
But I’ll still be me.
I’m still me even though I freak out sometimes.
Isn’t the nature of a decision a limitation on the world? In which case, wouldn’t we be better off had we never decided to be a certain way? Or is it too intrinsic to the nature of dna that we should decide?
What is a decision anyway?
It all depends on your context, your world.
And my world is tired.