I ended up with a date for Valentine’s Day. Against the wish of every cell of my body.

Sigh. So I say to him, “Hey, I didn’t realize tomorrow night was Valentine’s Day.” I had postponed tonight’s plans so I could hang out with my grandmother. She’s starting to remember me.

He said, “What are you saying?”

“Um…well, uh, I just didn’t want you to think I was like, um-“

“Trying to get a night of Valentine’s sex?”

“Well, I suppose that’s one way to put it.” I was going to say, “trying to get a date for Valentine’s Day.” After all, I didn’t want a date for Valentine’s Day. It was an accident. Tuesday was my first free night, and I have a long history of flaking with this guy.

“Oh. Well, don’t worry! Dinner. That’s all. And we’re going dutch.”

“Okay. What are you doing here?”

“I was going to wait around and walk you to your car.”

Just when you think they’re no good! Almost all of them, anyway.

Questions? Comment? Cigars? Cigarettes?

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