The Mattress Guy

First conversation I have with the Mattress Guy, I wind up innocuously suggesting we go out for a drink. His response:

“Yeah, I meet girls at these shows and I have sex with them, but we have to go straight to my hotel cause I have to be in bed by twelve-thirty.”

So, I spent the next few days—still flirting with him, for some reason—but, more relevantly, wondering how it is he gets the girls actually to go straight to bed with him. I kept thinking I’d need at least one drink. Not that I don’t think he’s cute. I do. But my friends don’t. And he is forty, and seemingly awfully dirty.

A few days later I understood. I was walking past him and he shouted, “Damn girl! When am I going to get you in bed?!” It really wasn’t much of a question, but more of a comment. And all the neighboring vendors heard. But that’s okay cause the Vita Mix guys heard me tell one of my pals that I was “totally going to do him.”

Ah life. Thank god I’ve decided to uphold my New Years Resolution not to sleep with random men.

Lets hear from the peanut gallery, eh?

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