Susie J’s Life Lessons

1. In order to do a cursory toilet cleaning, one must clean not only the inside of the bowl and the toilet seat, but also the top that only boys see.

2. Both baking soda and salt are essential for the baking process. Next time I have some time to kill, I’ll figure out exactly why. Then I’ll make little chemical models of the baking soda, baking powder and salt molecules and act out the different scenarios. It’ll be fun.

3. I like to get drunk and practice my sponge demo on unwitting party guests. Poor Gabe’s seen it fifteen times. Julia and I used to go to co-op parties and call everyone by their first and last names. It was our party trick. Now I give the sponge demo, and Julia rolls her eyes. Oooh, how times have changed.

4. People are amazing. So unfailingly surprising and brilliant and funny. I always assume everything will just keep trucking along, but it doesn’t. Sometimes you don’t get to see someone anymore, hear their voice, their laughter. For whatever reason. And I just hear “I know it’s over – still I cling, I don’t know where else I can go” over and over and over again.

5. My TV doesn’t work.