To which my mother responded, “Honey, it takes more than one night to fall in love.”

I cleaned my bathroom. Finally.

And after six weeks of being single, and starting anew…

I realize that, in my most recent incarnation, I only had four friends (locally, that is). Having lost one of them (not to death), it’s just as if I had lost them all.

To me, anyway.

From: hygienefairy
Sent: Wednesday, October 11, 2006 3:17 PM
To: hygienefairy
Subject: the office stinks

and our meetings stink.

please help our sensitive noses by maintaining your personal hygiene. this includes:
-wearing deodorant, and reapplying as necessary (if you don’t wear deodorant–don’t ride a bike!) -brushing & flossing your teeth twice daily (save money on dentistry later!)
-showering AT LEAST every other day (it’ll help you get laid!)

the usca hygiene fairy apologizes if this doesn’t apply to you. but you know what, it might.

thanks for your cooperation,
the usca hygiene fairy

p.s. the hygiene fairy endorses some great hippy deodarants and soaps. just email hygienefairy for suggestions.
p.p.s. i won’t tell anyone.

Until today, my favorite break up response was:
“Oooh, phew, I was afraid to dump you.”

And I hate to relate the really painful one about how being with me is like awaiting a cigarette burn, but never knowing when it might arrive.

But today’s really takes the cake…
“I hope life treats you better than you do your bedfellows.”

Muwahahaha!! Watch out, boys. And girls.

I joked about mourning the loss of one of my favorite day time soap stars. It’s not like he died or anything; he’s just trying to make it in movies. Not that he’s really all that great of an actor, but don’t tell him I said that.

Today, I mourn the loss of a great friend. Tomorrow, I will still mourn for him. For his life, for the years he’ll never see. For the times we’ll never have any more of.

He would call me without fail at two, four a.m.. He’d leave messages, “I love you!” or “I’m drruuunk.” The King of Drunk Dials. The king of cheering me up.

He was in love with everyone. He was in love with life.

He dreamt of moving to San Diego and getting a job delivering the mail. Once he dreamt of joining the air force. We would spend hours on the roofdeck of our old house, just talking while he trained his eyes to see the leaves in the farthest trees. He believed he could make his eyesight better.

He believed he could make anything better. He believed he would make everything better. But now he can’t.

One night. One last injection.

And that’s it.

I love you Scott. And I’ll miss you forever.

I got a $273 drinking in public ticket. I was out of college, but partying with old friends… Two plain clothes cops saw me drinking a bottle of Jim Beam on the sidewalk outside the corner store where I got it. They followed me in, and proceeded to take down my license, et cetera, and pour the bottle in the trash. In the trash! I begged them to let me keep it.

To show them, I purchased a smaller bottle of whiskey once they were gone, and drank it at Cloyne. I wound up (appropriately) puking in a trash can. Afterwards, I felt much better.

Total cost for drinking in public: Two bottles of whiskey and a $273 ticket equals… oh, I’d say about $317.

My sister and I fell in love with a table. I went to Ikea a total of four times before finally managing–with Alex’s approval!–to spend $300 of my $500 deposit from my previous residence on this major purchase.

In ecstacy, I spent my day off painting the kitchen cabinets Field Poppy. It’s lovely. I managed to do that. But I didn’t manage to put together my $300 table without choosing the wrong screws to affix the table legs to the table top…and screwing the damn screws straight through the beautiful fake dark wood surface… In eight places.

Total cost for neglecting to notice the screw detailing in the Ikea instruction manual: $300 plus tax plus sooo many tears equals priceless.

But it’s cool. We’re going to find a miracle table runner to hide the scars. (As in, it’ll be a miracle if we find one we both like.) And the matching chairs are hella cute. It’s very domey. Look it up–fusion, Ikea.com–just picture it with many puncture wounds.

Sigh. Sometimes, I can’t help but to doubt my general ability in life.

I am thankful for…

a day off tomorrow
my job
Ron Josenberg
Alex
the Dome!!
Fusion!
field poppy
the kitchen
an electric stove
men
Matt
sandpaper
drills
my father
blue masking tape
ease of productivity
dreams
the ability to wake, to live
raw food
Emily
the wonderful people @ my job
& in my life.
getting along with Zach, Julia.
Zach, Julia
g., E,
my mother.
Landmark.
college students
Cloyne
my relationship to money
Living with my sister
Alex’s salads
a fridge FULL of produce!
organic meat
Will’s presentness. Will.
the ability to be alone.
challenge.
growth.
pain.
LOVE.
conference calls
Le Crueset.
fresh eggs
my butter dish
my VCR, TV
the unpredictable nature of life
The Weakerthans.
Caroline. SS.
Gus.
cupcakes