18 years ago today I turned twelve. The night before I wrote about how grateful I was for everything in my life. When I read that entry as I posted it I had to laugh out loud; just a few nights ago I wrote a very similar entry in my current diary about how grateful I am for everything in my life.
In particular, I’m grateful that I’m thirty. I found my twenties to be full of growing pains. Add to that the ominous quality one’s thirtieth birthday tends to have and I am just glad it’s over. I’m sure that there will be growing pains in the future as I continue to work to expand my business (so much harder than I thought!) and my family. We’re looking forward to adding a dog and, someday, a baby or two.
My twenties were full of life lessons. How can I ensure I pay my bills on time and stop shelling out for late fees? How can I balance my wonderful and fun social life with my often neglected need for alone time? How can I be my own boss and force myself to come through when I really don’t want to and prioritize projects appropriately?
How can I be okay with my changing body and love myself anyway? How can I be okay with my changing needs and desires and love myself anyway? How can I just plain love myself when there’s always so much more I could be or accomplish?
As I list these I realize that they are and will continue to be questions that plague my life. But I think that the #1 thing I’ve learned is to chill out, or in the words of 12-year-old me, take a chill pill.
This is my lifetime and I’m going to enjoy it, damnit.