Hey Susie, how is online dating going?
um…okay. Looking up at the moment.

Did you ever go on a date with that guy who said you were “100% adorable” or whatever?
ooh, I told you about that? Yeah, no. Well, he never wrote back and a couple days later turned his profile off.

What about that other guy who was obsessed with that long ass Pynchon novel…what’s the name?
Gravity’s Rainbow. Yeah, he turned his profile off too.

But I’m not taking any of this personally. I’m just happy that they found love.

So…um…have you gone on any dates? I heard your sister went on a date the other day. And she’s not even on an online dating site.
Yeah okay. Well. Not yet. But I have my first date tomorrow night.

Oooooo, who’s the lucky guy?!
Well…it’s more than just a guy. It’s a guy and a girl. With an open relationship. It could work. I’m polyamorous.

And the best part about this date is that they think my name is Susie! Cause I sign my emails Susie. I know I’m not fooling any of you, but I am fooling them. Hee. Hilarity.

So, what’s the best thing about online dating?
Getting to flirt with people from the comfort of my own laptop!! wink. Wink. And drunk. With no possible repurcussions except for a wink or a message back. And we all like those.

Why did you choose nerve.com for your online dating needs?
Julia suggested it. I’ve since tried lavalife cause I found the nerve.com pickings slim, and I liked their ads. But it’s a little too fast-paced for me. Like level 12 of Tetris–you have to work up to that!

Would you recommend nerve.com to me?
Um… right.

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