1. If one clips their toe nails regularly, their socks aren’t wont to get those gaping holes in the big toe.
2. If drinking six vodka tonics and two beers one night lands one in the depths of the H.O., one should deduce that drinking nine vodka tonics and three beers the next night will do the same.
3. Always avoid saying I love you as long as possible.
4. Neglected eyebrows will never pluck themselves.
5. Not only does Schwan deliver delicious ice cream to your doorstep, but it also offers lots of yummy and convenient microwavable party food–the perfect contribution to any friends’ soiree. And they’re hiring. I know cause they have a van parked right outside. It’s going to get a ticket come 9 a.m. for blocking the street sweeper. But I won’t. I learned that lesson.
6. Regretfully, a filing system requires a modest amount of upkeep.
7. America’s Best Value Inn is not, at first inquiry, America’s best value for accomodations.