I never thought

that I would drive enough to have road rage.

But I drive a lot now, and my rage is consuming. But I rarely get angry at fellow drivers, nor at those poor pedestrians. No, I don’t mind stopping for Mom and Baby to cross, and I just fear for the safety of those people that drive really slow in the fast lane.

It’s the bikers that get my goat.

I support bikers–at least those ones that know how to ride. I wish I was a biker. They’re always so hot with their back packs and tight bums. I’ve had day dreams of rolling up my right pant leg and securing my helmet. The only time I actually tried biking since elementary school, I rolled up the wrong pant leg and wound up with a huge tear. And I didn’t have a helmet to wear. I was terrified the entire time. I looked like G on those rolling paths surrounding the Kroller-Muller museum. Her knuckles were so white, I thought she might break her fingers off. Training wheels might have set her mind at ease.

Even in elementary school I understood more about the rules of the road then the damn bikers around nowadays. I bet G does too.

What on earth possesses them to ride their bikes on the left side of the street?! Do they really want to witness the final seconds of Death’s approach?

What could they possibly be thinking that would lead them to slowly meander across a street with traffic coming at them in both directions?! They’re insane, and they’re a menace to city streets.

One should really have to pass a driving test to drive a bike on the road. It could be a really simple test:

1. A biker’s proper place should be riding:

A. Against traffic
B. With traffic

2. When crossing the street, one should:

A. Use the crosswalk
B. Cross with traffic
C. Just make it; it really doesn’t matter how you do it.

3. A bicyclist is technically:

A. A pedestrian
B. A vehicle

I think even taking the test would be educational, even if people failed and rode their bikes anyway.

This one time I was walking down Telegraph and this obnoxious bike cop was cycling next to me on the sidewalk. Yes, on the sidewalk! I stopped him, and said increduously, “Oh my! Sir, I thought it was illegal to ride one’s bike on the sidewalk? What changed?”

He didn’t think I was funny. I didn’t either; I was honestly confused.

Speak up peeps.

0 thoughts on “I never thought

  1. Previous message rcvd
    Pls allow Sat noon to 4ish tme out for Cbrn prjct/flm
    Also, pls allow Sun 4.20 am/pm both for last shoot

    meow, call me or L

  2. Previous message rcvd
    Pls allow Sat noon to 4ish tme out for Cbrn prjct/flm
    Also, pls allow Sun 4.20 am/pm both for last shoot

    meow, call me or L

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