the diary project

I’ve really been missing Becky lately.  I don’t really have a best friend now.  I mean Emily’s supposed to be my best friend but lately it hasn’t felt like it. I wish I could write the truth in here, but I can’t.  Emily will read this.  But right now I can’t keep my feelings in.  So, Emily, don’t take offense by what I’m writing.  I have to get my feelings of my chest.

One thing that made Becky’s and mine friendship so strong was that we were always fighting.  We never had feelings to get off our chests and if we did, we could argue it out and no one would get offended.  But if I ever have a problem with Emily and I get mad, emily will get really, really upset and start crying then and there!  So, I can’t stay mad but am guilty. If she could hold her feelings in, it would be better.  What our friendship really needs is a good fight.  It’ll never work this way.

She’s to over something. She acts like a jealous boyfriend sometimes. To her if I happen to be talking to someone else, she’ll feel left out and start to pout.  Every 2° if I’m in a good mood, Emily’ll be in a bad mood and bring me down with her.  Excuse me, for being happy!  I swear if I’m happy and she’s not (which she never is) I have to stop being happy.  And there’s one thing she has to know: Alexis doesn’t like her! There, I wrote it! All the problems w/ her and Bio Science are because Alexis doesn’t like her!  She hast o know that!  I didn’t know how to tell her that but now, if she reads this she’ll know.

Every Mon. and Tues. Emily comes home w/ my carpool and my mom takes her home.  Her house isn’t that out of the way, but why should my mom take routine trips out of her way just for her?!!! There are people who live much, much closer who she could easily get rides with.  Take Erica!  She lives 2 blocks away! Erica could easily give Emily a ride home, but no, she has to inconvenience my mom and me by having us waste gasoline on her!  I know Elaine does a lot for me but my mom also takes Emily to ice skating once a week, a job she doesn’t particularly enjoy! the rant goes on…

(Robbie and Tom W. didn’t show up)

MY WHOLE CONCEPT OF REALITY IS GONE!!! It all started with Alyssia J. broke up with Andy. That was last Tues. I think. then last Fri. Chan asked Daniele W. out! And she said yes! But awhile ago Chan and Nicole O. got contacts. Chan without glasses?!!! It’s crazy. Then last night Ana went w/ Natalie to TNT (Church youth group) and the girls of the cliche talked to her! They used to hate her! Well, I’m pretty sure of that. Everything I’ve believed in: the people in the cliche will always cold shoulder us no matter waht we do; Chan wears glasses; we all hate Alyssia; Amy and Chan would end up together not Amy and George B!; Alyssia and Andy would always go out; is gone. All of it! Everything! That’s the stuff I always could count on to be the same no matter waht else changed. Well, at least I know the cliche will be the cliche! But if they stop ignoring me then I have to rely on Emily to deliver me to the nut house. (Ha, ha!)

Reality

My reality went BYE, BYE!

I’m so nervous. Actually scared is a better word. I’ve been out since Wed w/ Namonia and tomorrow I have skating lessons. Afterward I’ll just stick around for Ana’s B-day party also at the skating rink. It’s boy-girl and Robbie will be there. Will he think me stuck up for having my own skates? Normally I don’t care what people think, but I like Robbie. I told Natalie, but tomorrow I’m going to tell her I stopped because I don’t want anyone knowing. But, oh I don’t know. It’s not like he’s going to judge me because of my bunnie skate guards. I just hope I won’t look like a major show off. It’s not like I’m an Olympian but I don’t suck and I am most certainly going to be better than anyone else there. Well we’ll just have to find out what happens won’t we?

I haven’t written because, quite honestly, there hasn’t been much going on. C’est la barbe! [around here]

That is until today… I guess I’ll have to start at the beginning!

Friday night – Erika had a sleepover B-day party!  I, of course, was there and at about 3 in the morning we played (what else) truth or dare!  Anyway Sarah B. dared me to wear this certain color of lipstick all Tues (we had Mon. off) The color itself wasn’t that bad but it was the consequences that were bad.  If I didn’t wear it on Tues – I had to kiss Dav P. (GEEK) on the cheek w/ bright glow-in-the-dark red!  Guess what?  I forgot the lipstick on Tues! So I had to face the consequences today. OH NO!! What will happen?? More after the jump

Man, what a welcome back.  I have been out since Mon with lice (everyone thinks I have strep throat except Em & Erika).  Anyway today was okay but I didn’t start the school day til 3°. While I was out, I cute my hair to make getting lice eggs out.  It’s now child length.  Anyway as it is in our tradition, Emily was absent today. I really wanted to see her, though.  Because Erika knew I had lice she wouldn’t hug me, although I really needed that hug.  I can count on her hug 3° to help me through the day.  Not anymore.

While I was gone we changed seats in block.  Now I’m sitting by Billy and Dave P. I don’t mind Billy, but Dave… I mean, this guy is…well really, really (tres, tres, TRES!) annoying.  He makes Shoemaker look like good company!  Hell he makes Erica seem like good company!  Anyway, he wrote this note to Alexis saying something like:

‘Do you want to give a bone to Jeff as much as Jeff wants to give a bone to you?’

‘knock, knock,
who’s there’
something, something…’

and signed it Jeff.  Anyway, when Alexis read that she started crying.  I mean, I can see how it might upset her, but crying is a little much.  Anyone would get upset, and I’m not meaning to offend Alexis in any way because she’s sensitive (I think) and I would get upset if I had gotten it.  I just wouldn’t have cried.

12 year old me felt it was necessary to accompany this story with this awesome depiction of Alexis' unnecessary tears. Way to drive the point home 12-year-old-me!

Anyway, tonight I got this depressing phone call from Alexis.  She was complaining about how, technically, in the popular pyramid, we’re just one step up from geeks like Shoemaker.  It was really depressing, ’cause I’d consider us somewhere in the middle.  I wouldn’t want to be on top – because in order to be on top you have to be majorly bitchy.

More Later. What do you think? Were tears a little much Alexis??