roommates

I have this really fun text box at the bottom of the site where I ask you what the best part of your day has been so far. Normally it’s a hoot. The other day someone shared:

“My fresh peach and pineapple smoothie . . . made by me!”

Peach and pineapple! I need that recipe.

Normally, I get a lot of this:

“Finding your great website!”

Which is probably my mom or aunts visiting my website over and over, but each and every time it makes my day.

The other day, though, I got this:

“Seeing you still are a sad sack of crap.”

Now, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say, was it? I was kinda down in the dumps about it for a day or two. And, to be sure, when I remember someone took the time to make my day worse, I can be sad.

The thing is, that I am 99% sure it’s that Roommate From Hell that Will and I had last winter. See, he was never a very happy person, and it would make sense if he got his rocks off by cyber bullying me.

Is my cyber bully our old Roommate From Hell?

I know that he’s not the only person in this world to dislike me. But the tone and timber of the comment scream him. Most of the other people (that I know of) that don’t like me are more poetic and dainty in their language. Or so I’d like to think.

Regardless, of who it was — though I’m sure it was that old Roommate From Hell — I’m taking a page from one indigenous culture in my attitude towards this.

Important People Have Nemeses

I know very little about this particular indigenous culture. I know they are indigenous to North America and some part of California and that Heyday Books may or may not be covering their culture in an upcoming publication.

But the part that’s relevant here is that in this indigenous culture, everyone that’s anyone has a nemesis.

Imagine that! There goes the grocer grinding his teeth about his nemesis the postal worker. Oh poor Dennis the dentist will never get over how his nemesis Frank the obstetrician stole his woman back in 98. I love it.

Like a Quinceañera or a Bat Mitzvah, as you age, you earn a nemesis. I don’t know much about how or why that happens–maybe by speaking your mind in the face of adversity, blogging about horrible roommates or instigating bar fights–but it’s so important that everyone gets a nemesis that if you don’t have one, people don’t think you’re important.

“Oh there’s Mick. Did you hear, he doesn’t have a nemesis??! What a loser!!”

So, let it be known. I am important enough to have a nemesis!

And that nemesis is my old Roommate From Hell. But he’s not my nemesis. No, I’m saving that for someone far more important than he.

Though I do appreciate how good he is at providing fodder for this here blog. Thanks for that Roommate from Hell! And thanks to Albrecht Durer for the post photo, an engraving titled “Nemesis.” I guess nemeses were big back in the 16th century too.

What about you? Who is your nemesis?

Thumbnail image for Roommates: still a pain in the neck after all these years

Roommates: still a pain in the neck after all these years

As William Godwin shared at the turn of the 18th century… “Cohabitation is a point of delicate experiment, and is, in a majority of instances, pregnant with ill-humor and unhappiness.” Thank you to Will for that awesome and ever so timeless quote.

Thumbnail image for Who’s the Awful Roommate? Smitty Flies Off the Handle

Who’s the Awful Roommate? Smitty Flies Off the Handle

Poor Smitty is a clean guy, like me. He likes his house clean and his sink empty of dirty dishes. Back when he was just discovering that about himself, he lived with a number of men who didn’t feel the same way. No, they liked to leave food all over the place to rot and […]

Lauren’s Awful Roommate

Friend of the blog Lauren recounts her worst roommate situation. A Cat with 50% Accuracy Meets His Match “I had to move out of the house I loved because my roommate decided to move in his girlfriend and her cat. The problem was we already had a cat with 50% litterbox accuracy. “My roommate who […]

Thumbnail image for Confession: I am an awful roommate too

Confession: I am an awful roommate too

We’ve been sharing awful roommate stories here on jenniferheller.com as I recover from my last living situation in which Will and I inadvertantly offered a bedroom in our apartment to who was to become known as our Roommate From Hell. The truth is that he and I were each other’s Roommates From Hell. You see, […]

One Reader’s Crazy Roommates

Thanks to friend of the blog Charlee for sending in some crazy roommate stories.  Today’s lesson, as she so eloquently stated, “Humans are a bunch of WEIRDOS!” Fight #1 “I told a bossy college roommate that I could find the common room on my own for a meeting (she wanted me to miss the last […]

Thumbnail image for Insult Submission!!

Insult Submission!!

I’m excited to report that my request for insults has not gone unanswered! “Nunya Business” from San Jose, CA, writes: I met you at a few of the parties. You’re a crazy, soul destroying, manhood leeching, empty capsule of a human being’s capacity to be rational. Granted, this was not a comment on the blog […]

Thumbnail image for THINK before you speak

THINK before you speak

My coach introduced me to this awesome acronym to help you gage whether your input is worth sharing. Ask yourself, is this sentiment… Timely Helpful Important Necessary Kind When all five of those are satisfied, then you can be sure that you are being the best possible person you can be at that juncture. That’s […]

Why would anyone pee on their own toilet seat?

Well, after five long months, I am proud to say that I am finally free of my ROOMMATE FROM HELL (RFH). And, wonderfully, free from all roommates. I’d like to take this opportunity to kick off a series of horrible roommate stories. Do you have one? Please share them in the comments or send [email protected] […]

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