pets

The other day there was a giant dog in a car parked in front of our apartment building.  Such a beautiful dog left alone in a car for seemingly hours!

We stood around discussing who would do something like that when our neighbor Lois approached the car.  The dog exploded into the fiercest of barks!

Not such a nice dog after all!!

A few minutes later, Shawn the cat jumped on that very car.

Oh no!!  What would happen when the two saw each other??

Would they perhaps tear each other to pieces?  Would this be the end of our great friend Shawn???

Nah…

Once in a while I daydream of a life where I’m a full-time writer.  It’s when I’m not daydreaming of being a sculptor or a talk show host.

New York Midnight’s Flash Fiction Micro Contest found me in one of those moments, and without blinking an eyelash signed right up.

Contestants were asked to submit three 100 character stories today.  Each entry had to feature a particular word, and we received that word at roughly 9am (my time) this morning.  Entries were due at twelve hours later at 11:59 EST.

After I signed up I started thinking about it…100 characters.  That’s less than a tweet!  By 40 characters!!  They obviously picked the length so that people could tweet their stories…smart.

Today faced with my word (“stand”) and a jam-packed day I got to thinking about the task at hand.  What is a story?  How can you fit a story in 100 characters?

Luckily I’d already discussed it with my best friend G. who’s an editor by trade and a voracious reader.  She assured me that it was possible to write a story in a sentence, and that the best ones she had read were less-action packed and insinuated a larger and often obscure background story.  I got that last tip too late to really incorporate it into my stories.

I didn’t have much time, but got to work.  Read on…

The Guster was really, really great in our movie Hanging with the Gus Man. What? You haven’t seen it?? Watch it now; you won’t be sorry. Seen it? Watch it again! It’s so brilliant*.

He popped up right when we needed him too. A little bit of cat treat on my fingers was all I needed to get him to approach at just the right moment.

All in all, it was an amazing filming experience.

So, I said to Will the other day, “Let’s hitch our wagons to this star. We’ll become cat handlers, move to LA. Get Gus an agent. It’s our destiny.” What could be wrong with this idea?

True Love

by Jen the Megalomaniac on July 29, 2011

He wouldn’t admit it, but Will loves the Guster. After so many guys told me that one of the cardinal rules of dating was never talking about your cat, I am evidence that the right person will put up with it, even participate, and grow to feel the same way.

An adorable pair.

And if you’re someone who loves animals, you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t love animals. It’s just not natural. Have you ever heard that you shouldn’t talk about your animals on dates?

I was welcomed to Berlin by my good friends Ann Marie and Spencer, and this awesome welcome gift of Katzenzungen.


These milk chocolates are named after cat tongues, and somewhat resemble the actual body part. They don’t however, have the awesome sand-papery texture of actual cat tongues. I do wonder why they chose to leave that out.

They melt in your mouth and are delicious. At only 1,79 Euro, they’re a steal and I’m taking orders. Each box comes with 18 cat tongues to enjoy with or without your cat.

I am always impressed with how my fellow humans find inspiration in the oddest places! What do you think? Wierd or best thing ever? And do you want me to bring you home a box?

It is a rare moment when my main man the Guster isn’t close to mind.  He was close to mind yesterday as we wandered throughout the Oakland Zoo.  I was entranced.  Apparently–and I blame my parents– I had never been to a zoo.  Perhaps my memory fails, but I embraced the zoo with a child-like glee.  Maybe it was actually taking a full day off of work.

I thought I would have been saddened to see these animals in captivity, but instead they struck me as having a pretty good life.  I understand they’re not as active as they would be in the wild, but they’re safe and many appeared to be having a really great time.  Especially those Squirrel Monkeys.  I’d really love to be a Squirrel Monkey.

I also pondered what animals my animals, the Guster and our roommate Shawn, would want to be if they were another animal.

Guster likes to lay around and wishes he could eat all day.

Guess what kind of animal he wishes he was?

Post image for May 19

May 19

by Jen the Megalomaniac on May 19, 2011

I feel so depressed.  I don’t know why.  It just sprang up on me.

Suddenly, in the middle of 90210, I started loving Smudge so much.  I started bawling and saying how much I loved her and how she couldn’t be given away.

Then (after I composed myself) I went out on the balcony. Suddenly I loved Pleasanton + the town homes. I tried to convince Mom + Dad not to move, but it didn’t work.  At least now we may not give Smudge for awhile.

I don’t know.  90210 was so sad.  It seems like I’m living in their saga.

I’m tired.  Bye!

Smudge looked something like this.

Has your love for your cats ever made you cry?

New Garage

by Jen the Megalomaniac on April 25, 2011

I jumped at the chance to rent one of the garages in my building after my downstairs neighbors moved out last month.

It came coated in dirt and cobwebs.

Lucky for me I had one of those long-handled duster/cobweb-getters.  They really are effective!

We inherited this awesome vintage poster.  It marks the Will-only section of the garage. Read on…

The Guster turned sixty-five last year (or 11 in human years).  We might not have taken out the cat book and looked up his cat age if the occasion hadn’t brought with it an extreme change in his behavior.

He went from moderately annoyed by our antics to down right grumpy.

To commemorate his new lifestyle, Will found this awesome t-shirt at Thrifttown last weekend.

We put it on him to see if he liked it.

He didn't particularly.

But ultimately admitted that it makes a darn good pillow.

What do you think? Isn’t he the cutest grumpiest cat ever?

Is my cat weird?

by Jen the Megalomaniac on December 15, 2010

Whenever the Guster is hungry he makes sure I know he’s serious. That’s why I made that brain map of how he thinks the other day. I’m not sure that got across how really and truly strange his behavior turns.  Seriously, I think he would bite my face off if I weren’t marginally stronger than he is.

I made a video so that maybe you would help me decide if he really is that weird:


Vote after the jump!

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