love

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I'm so grateful for

March 4, 2011

1. A European Trip

We’re headed to Europe this June, and I can hardly contain my excitement.

2. Will

He’s a really fun second half. He likes my cat, though he’d never admit it and most frequently refers to him as “the rodent.”

3. Community

I’ve been reaching out to the local community a lot over the past few months, and am so inspired and grateful for the connections I’ve made. I’m sure that running my own business will continue down the same bumpy road, but I’m glad for the company. What are you grateful for?

Have you ever stopped and noticed what’s happening in your head only to realize that you’re beating yourself up?  Criticizing yourself for–I don’t know–not accomplishing enough last month, drinking too much last night, burning the chili, or forgetting your lunch at home again??

I’ve realized lately that I do this.  A lot. There’s a word for this: Self Abuse.  And it’s the opposite of Self Love, or the practice of loving oneself.

Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics made a huge impression on me in college.  When he starts down the road of discussing friendship (and other relationships involving love), he begins with an inquiry into “Self Love.”

Aristotle suggests that love from other people stems from love from oneself. We should treat others the way we would want to be treated and the way we treat ourselves. Read on…

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Tom Waits Love Songs

February 4, 2011

I’ve been working on my mix tape of Tom Waits love songs this week.

I have the goal of finishing it by Valentine’s Day, which is a tall order given that I have been working on this mix for over three years.

I first mentioned it back in January 2008 as I bemoaned the lack of love in my life…

“Tom, I believe, is a man unlike the typical man, with a thorough respect and understanding of that incomprehensible mental state called love.” read the rest of the post

In the post I reference his song San Diego Serenade, but neglect to include it. It’s a great song.

This song is definitely making it onto the mix.

Do you have a favorite Tom Waits love song I should make sure to consider?

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Lushes in Love

January 10, 2011

Over the course of last year Will and I began experimenting and really appreciating how good a cocktail can be. Before then, we had basically subsisted on scotch on ice, beer, and gin and vodka tonics. And food, of course.

All of a sudden our eyes were opened to a whole new world of drinks! Will began to play with different ingredients and soon had invented his first custom cocktail, the Santa Rosa. And he sure has the touch. Even without booze, he can whip up a great drink. He makes awesome sodas during the day out of some combination of soda water, grenadine or simple syrup and various types of bitters. Yum! Read on…

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Sneak Peek: October 1, 1994

October 1, 2010

Last night could have quite possibly be the worst dance I’ll ever go to. For a while, I just saw Justin, but I finally spotted Eric. I guess it was so bad because I realized, “hey, I have not chance!” Eric has no idea who the hell I am, and everytime I saw him he had 4 or 5 girls all over him. Running their fingers through his hair, trying to get him to dance with them. If he even noticed I was there, he probably didn’t recognize me from Art & PE. Read on…

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May 25, 1992

May 25, 2010

I’m confused. Ana didn’t know who Steve is. She is in love big time. She’s making me be the writer for her notes. Now Peter thinks I like him. Ana says I have the neatest handwriting in the whole fifth grade. Is it true? Does Steve know?

I'm sure that Steve realized that my handwriting was in fact the neatest of everyone in the entire fifth grade.

I'm sure that Steve realized that my handwriting was in fact the neatest of everyone in the entire fifth grade.

Jamie likes Steve. That’s something we have in common. Does Steve like me? He’s been on my mind all weekend. Steve is one of the only boys in the fifth grade that doesn’t like somebody. Maybe he doesn’t like someone or likes someone but doesn’t tell anyone.

Post image for May 22, 1992

May 22, 1992

May 22, 2010

Steve is cute. I think. I’m not sure. Nobody else thinks so. I do not know why I’m attracted to him. He likes me. I think. Larearta says so. On the dusk hike I caught him looking at me. I was laughing. I wonder what was going through his brain. If Steve likes me does Tim know?

Am I pretty?

Is it wrong to like Adrien too? Adrien’s smart. I guess Steve got two B’s and two C’s. I’m not sure. He could have gotten straight F’s or A’s. Not that I want a roket sciencetist, but I want at least one B.

Yes, I just misspelled "rocket" and "scientist" while weighing the importance of my crush's intelligence.

Yes, I just misspelled "rocket" and "scientist" while weighing the importance of my crush's intelligence.

During Outdoor Ed I was always with Brendan. On the trust walk I was with Shawn. In boy-girl circles I was with Brendan. For the Barnyard Boogie I was with Brendan. What is it, fate? Brendan’s going with Liz, so how come I’m stuck with him?

Outdoor Ed was a week-long overnight camp for 5th graders.  The trust walk is where one person is blind folded and you have to hold hands with your partner--a big deal for a young girl!

Outdoor Ed was a week-long overnight camp for 5th graders. The trust walk is where one person is blind folded and you have to hold hands with your partner--a big deal for a young girl!

I’m growing up. I can feel it. Am I pretty? Nanet and Tasha seemed to think so. I don’t know. I’m confused. Next year I’ll be in sixth grade at Pleasanton Middle School. What if I don’t get good grades? What if I have no friends? What if no boys ask me to the dances? I wish Christina was going to P.M.S.

Seriously, the acronym for my middle school was "P.M.S."

Seriously, the acronym for my middle school was "P.M.S."

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The Year in Review

January 2, 2009

Dear friends,

It has been such an exciting year! If you remember, one of my new years’ resolutions was to utilize technology more effectively. To that end, I started off the year purchasing my first smartphone, an HTC Kaiser, or AT&T Tilt. Let me tell you, that $400 was wasted, but, looking back on the year, I wasted more money on bank fees. I’m looking forward to buying an unlocked Google phone in the new year.

One technology purchase that I was happy with was the tiny 9″ ASUS laptop. It’s so cute! And wonderful for looking up recipes (from your mom in your gmail) in the kitchen without lugging in your 17″ inch Dell Vostro (5 stars).

Another one of my new years’ resolutions was to utilize the vodka martini. I performed remarkably well.

For the second year, Sue and Phoebe joined my family at Mother’s Day Brunch. The crab tasted fresher than usual. I was pleased. I am glad that Sue and Phoebe have chosen Mother’s Day Brunch with the Hellers for a holiday tradition!

Will and I got back together in March. We have been strong ever since. In May, he and I joined Sue and Phoebe for a weekend camping trip. We floated a cooler of Tecate to a secret location and Phoebe found Will’s sunglesses in the bottom of the creek

I started planning Jenfest in June this year. Planning Jenfest is always a challenge. This year was no exception. When I think of heaven, I know it will be Jenfest 07. I was sad to have to plan a party that could never compete with heaven. Jenfest wound up as a picnic in Dolores Park this year. How wonderful was it to see everyone! This year was the first year that I did not ask Alex to design the invite. She is married to Patrick now, you know, and we hardly see her. I did get to see her at Jenfest, and it was delightful! Despite it not being Jenfest 07, Jenfest 08 was truly wonderful.

The night before Jenfest, I managed to mess up my back again. The week following Jenfest I was bedridden. Finally, I had an MRI in August. The results showed that I had a disc bulging 7cm into my spinal cord! This explains my severe discomfort. I went to see a new chiropractor. He spent some time with a rubber skeleton and explained my condition. Everytime I bend or twist, the disc bulges into my spinal cord. Well, my previous chiropractor had been recommending that I do bends and twists twice a day over the course of the past two years. That was upsetting. I am happy to be getting some relief.

I am satisfied with my professional success this year. I took on the Co-op’s 75th Anniversary Gala and a new supervisory role in January. It was a challenge taking on such a large event with nine months to plan. My Virgo moon kicked right in, though, and the details were (for the most part) nailed. One detail was regretfully neglected; we did not collect the donation envelopes from the table and the servers threw them away! In general, I was unhappy with H’s Lordship’s food and service. Narsai David had graciously donated ample wine, but it was simply not served fast enough!

During my year in charge, I also revamped the Co-ops website (www.bsc.coop). The new website offers much greater information to the students. It is also easier to update. I debuted the website on August 15th. Then, in the early hours of Labor Day weekend, I received a phone call from Jordan. “Are you ready?” he asked. “TELL ME,” I ordered. “The website has been hacked.” It was true! Turkish death metal blared from my computer. However, our work was not lost, and with the help of Dave in Argentina, we had the website back up in a matter of days.

In the early part of the year, I was hired to create a website for a martial arts school in Portland. As part of the trade, I was able to attend a very cool self-defense course. If you are ever in Portland, and are female, you should definitely take this course. It is worth every penny. As part of the curriculum, you physically attack the “padded attacker” which gives you great confidence later. I was even attacking people in my dreams! The website, www.onewithheart.com, turned out well in spite of some design sacrifices. I am looking forward to including it in my portfolio at jenniferheller.com (currently under construction).

In November I decided to host a Holiday Gift Bizarre at the Cottage Table Company on Pearl Harbor Day. I called it a Gift Bizarre in hopes of suggesting that you never know what you might find there. I am pretty sure that people just thought that I didn’t know how to spell bazaar. I invited all the artists I know locally, and advertised for artists on various websites like etsy.com. I was very pleased with the selection of artists. The crowd was certainly lacking, however. I will plan further ahead next year. One problem that I ran into was an issue with the original design of the flier–I hadn’t meant to, but I had included imagery that was offensive! I am still using the offensive version of the flier as one-sided paper, and suspect that I will for the majority of 2009. Check out the inoffensive version of the flier at www.holidaygiftbizarre.com

The Guster has been well this year. As you know, I started feeding him twice a day instead of just once. We think that he has lost some weight as a result. I am thinking that his metabolism is such that he needs multiple small meals in the day, just like me. An unfortunate consequence of feeding him in the morning as well as the evening, is that he very persistently tries to wake me up in the morning. He even goes so far as to pull books out of the night stand to make noise! It is very irritating, but it is nice to wake up to the cold nose of someone you love every morning.

I do hope this letter finds you, my friends, happy and well. I am in the process of constructing a self-video-taping-camera-holding hat. My new years resolution for 2009 is to produce a video a week!

Much love,

Susie J.

But I know someone and he makes me happy.

new computer:

talks back
disturbing alerts
dvd player skips
makes me laugh
fingerprints
so fast!!!
high resolution

new boyfriend:

talks back
forgets to shut the toilet
makes me laugh
makes good breakfasts
perfectly fast
fantastic company