The Story of Clocky the Rolling Alarm Clock

I really don’t like getting out of bed.

I never have. Ever since I was a pre-pubescent, I’ve had this problem.

Lately, it’s gotten worse. Here I am, running my own business, with a staff of three to six to keep track of on any given day. And all I want to do is lay around in bed!

I’ve tried everything…it didn’t work to have the alarm clock across the room. I’d just get right back into bed, time and time again, even for as little as five minute snoozes.

An upbeat playlist backfired. It was too easy to shut off and go back to sweet slumber.

I even followed one blogger’s advice and practiced getting out of bed for a solid hour one night. I’d get set the alarm for two minutes later, get into bed, try to get into the sleeping rhythm and then — when the alarm went off — I’d practice jumping out of bed with energy and enthusiasm the way I dream I might. Time and time again I practiced. The next morning I went back to snoozing like nothing had happened.

Adorable Guster tucked into bed.

Can you blame me, when I have such an adorable feline beckoning me back to bed??

I’ve made the mornings incredibly easy for myself. The coffee pot goes off at 7:30 — the first thing I get to do is take a sip of nice, strong coffee. The boyfriend makes me breakfast. All I have to do is get my ass out of bed.

And I can’t do it.

One day I was shopping at fab.com and I found the answer: Clocky, the Rolling Alarm Clock.

This alarm clock is designed with people like me in mind. The alarm clock goes off and rolls away, so no matter how much I don’t want to, I have to go chase it.

Or so I thought.

Day 1

At long last, Clocky arrived in the mail. I was stoked. Tomorrow, I told myself, tomorrow will be the beginning of a new day!! I’ll get up early! I’ll exercise before work! I’ll come in so sun-shiney-happy that my team won’t know what hit them!

I set the alarm. I went to bed. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It was a glorious sleep.

The next morning, the alarm goes off and Clocky takes off from his perch on my nightstand. Onto the floor he goes and boom! He’s stuck next to a stool.

Sleepy me reaches down out of bed, picks him up, presses snooze and back to dreamland. Fail. Though Clocky did succeed in scaring the wits out of poor Gus. But even that hilarity wasn’t enough to keep me from dreamland.

Day 2

Determined to make this work, I moved the offensive stool to give Clocky a clear path to somewhere hard to find. Tomorrow, by God, I will have to hunt and hunt to find this beeping, rolly creature. I will be awake!!

Moving the stool helped. Clocky rolled off and away. And then under the bed. I spent a solid two minutes fishing it out and was, indeed, awake. It was a success! The beginning of the new me!

Day 3

I did my best to ensure that the previous day’s success would reoccur. I cleared all obstacles from Clocky’s way. I went to bed. Oh, did it feel good to be a new person! To be someone with a working method to ensure that I got up early!! Ooooh, yes, the sky was the limit from now on.

But I neglected one thing: my intellect. Over the past two days I’d learned that there was a slight delay between when Clocky goes off and when he rolls off my nightstand. The next morning, he went off.

I acted quickly. I wrestled my hand from the covers, and in one quick gesture, pulled the drawer of my nightstand out. There Clocky was, a rolling and a beeping away in the confines of my nightstand drawer.

Another quick gesture later, he was silenced and I was back to sleep, happily dreaming of a time when I might actually learn to get up early.

Day 4

I had spent a whopping $30 or something on Clocky, and I wasn’t going to give up yet. Perhaps…perhaps, if I combine Clocky with the alarm-clock-across-the-room-method, perhaps then I would have the magic recipe to my new life!

Luckily for me, my boyfriend’s dresser was all way across the room and it had plenty of room for Clocky to live. That is until he woke up, and rolled away and I would finally get out of bed on time!

With a sense of dread, I placed him up there. Why dread, you ask? Well, I had an inkling that this method just might work, and, the truth of the matter was, I didn’t want to get out of bed on time. I wanted to lay around and cuddle until the last possible moment.

Well, I placed Clocky up there, and set the alarm. I went to bed, knowing that my slumber would be dramatically disturbed come 7:30 am. And come 7:30 am, it was. Clocky did his job, and did it well. It took me a solid five minutes to dig him out from under the chair he wound up under.

Reluctantly, I stayed awake.

The next few days continued to see Clocky doing his job and doing it well. But lucky for me, I had sabotaged the whole thing. You see, Clocky takes AAA batteries. And when he came, I couldn’t find my fresh AAA batteries. So I put in whatever ones I did find, and they just didn’t have much juice.

Day 16

Clocky is set atop the boyfriend’s dresser, waiting to do his job. But the sabotage finally worked its magic. By 7:30 am, Clocky was out of juice and unable to run around. I slept in unknowingly, yet happily. And I have yet to put new ones in.

What can I say? This damn rolly alarm clock just does too good a job. And I just plain don’t want to get out of bed.

Committed to getting out of bed? Get yourself a Clocky the Rolling Alarm Clock today!

First Friday Giveaway! Win a Canvas Print from Easy Canvas Prints

Not too many months ago, my office was my home, and my absolute favorite thing to do all day was to stare out the window at the rooftops. Not particularly good for productivity. It was such a relief to move out and into our office space (part one, two), but I was sure going to miss those rooftops.

To commemorate that view, I ordered a canvas print of a photograph from Easy Canvas Prints.

I have to say it’s awesome. Super easy to order, and the color is vibrant. I chose to have the photo stretched on the sides of the canvas and it looks great.

Did we mention that Father's Day is coming up? It would be a great gift for a dad with a sentimental nature. One time I gave my dad some magnets of some photos that I had taken over the years that I thought he'd like. He gave them back a few years later.

Easy Canvas Prints is so awesome, they offered to let me give away a free 8×10″ print!

Enter Now with blog code: JENNIFER2012.  Please note that you need to live in the US, and they don’t ship free prints to Hawaii or Alaska so if you live there you’re out of luck. Poop.

We’ll accept entries until 5pm next Friday, June 6th.  I get to pick the winner!  I’m going to draw a name out of a hat!  I might even put a rabbit in there too mix things up. Continue Reading

New Office: Pros and Cons

This whole work-home separation has been really a) wonderful and b) hard.

a) Wonderful

– More stairs! I walk up and down at least (and this a conservative estimate) six times the number of stairs I did when I worked at home.  This has to be good for my butt and my general well being.

– Biking! I bike to work!!  So fun.  And Real Simple says that biking gives you more energy which is something I definitely need.

– No cat.  No one is meowing and clawing and trying to eat some of my lunch.

– People!  I talk to at least one extra person every day.  It rocks.

– Way cool space.  Warehouse 416 is a way inspiring place to spend my time.

– Friendship! (Yes, this is somehow different than people.) I have an office mate who is pretty freaking awesome and takes great photos that make the office look even better than it actually is:

(Photos by Sarabek Images)

b) Hard.  And stressful too.

– Rubberbands are hard to locate. I always kept a well-stocked home office which, I now realize, was relied upon in non-home affairs.

– Where to file?? My desk is at work.  I pay my office bills and my home bills at the same time (always have).  Where do my home credit card bills go?  Where do my work bills get filed?  (off subject — why are they not all e-bills??)

– What to do? Get up earlier? The office is in a warehouse that has an art gallery on the ground floor, artist studios and one other business office.  It’s pretty vacant and rather creepy late at night.  Which is when I’m used to accomplishing most of the coding necessary to develop websites…what can I say?  I’m a night person.  It’s quiet — no one calls and I can put on a soap, and get in the coding flow.  I’ve been tried staying late by talking myself out of American Horror Story memories and dissolving into the comfortable lull of Days of Our Live, and then boom!  The timer from the weekly Toastmasters meeting goes off startling the wits out of me and bringing back American Horror Story memories.  SO SCARY.

– No cat.  When I drop some food on the floor, I have to clean it up.  That’s a serious bummer.

 

Questions for the Angels

I’m pretty obsessed lately with the newest Paul Simon album, “So Beautiful or So What?”.

At first it was his fantastic song about bureaucracy in the afterlife, The Afterlife.

And now it’s Questions for the Angels. My favorite line:

If you shop for love in a bargain store
And you don’t get what you bargained for
Can you get your money back?

Beautiful song, yes? We wouldn’t expect anything less from Paul Simon, though, would we? Continue Reading

Stuff We Love: Guest Posts & SignNow.com

Today is a red letter day here at JenniferHeller.com.  We have our first GUEST POST!!!

Our guest post today is courtesy of Heather G. who supplied the following avatar:

Is that a cat playing guitar?  A gopher?  A chipmunk?  Whatever it is, it’s shiny and cute and lovable, just like I know Heather G. is in person (since we’re, you know, friends in real life).

And without further ado, here’s our guest post:

Stuff Heather G. Loves: SignNow.com

Since I have a job that gives me mediocre health insurance, I have made every sort of appointment possible. I’ve had moles removed, my sensitive areas swabbed, eyes checked, teeth cleaned and prescriptions filled. One of the most annoying parts of being a “new patient” is that the paperwork is freaking endless. In the spirit of time management, many of these offices provide New Patient Forms on their websites so I can leisurely tell them when my last menstrual period was or if I allergic to any medications and bring the forms with me on my first visit. It’s a lot of paperwork and once I hand it over to Beth at the front desk, I forget about it and move on with my life. Then I discovered SignNow.com—the website that makes signing documents ridiculously simple and even stores them for me, FOR FREE!. Here’s how it works:

  1. Upload any document
  2. Go to www.signnow.com
  3. Enter your signature (you can draw it or type it—it’s all binding and 100% legal thanks to the e-sign act of 2000. You can even upload your pen and ink signature and keep it there.)

They ask for no registration, no account, nada. Just upload and sign. And get this—when you are done (It takes about 15 seconds), they email you a copy of your document in pdf and you can choose to download it. Organizational and environmental me is in love.  Just think about the possibilities for freelancers, renters, petitions, oh I could go on and on. I love a good product and this one is sweet.

P.S. I can’t wait to tell you about my $58 hair conditioner. Worth every penny.

Thanks Heather G! That sounds like one hell of a time / headache / paper saver.

What do you love?  Tell me about it!  Send guest posts / rants / raves/ questions to [email protected].  Or [email protected]… whatever mood you’re in is okay by me. Continue Reading

If you leave

I woke up with this song in my head.  I know I’m sleepy and maybe a little emo as a result, but this video just made me cry.

Now all I want to do is curl up and watch Pretty in Pink. And–curses to technology–I’m sure I could find it on the internets, blow off everything and lay around and do just that.

Is life better when one has to say no to wonderful movies at every juncture?? Continue Reading

Misisipi Rider’s Ghost of Johnny Cash

Before we moved in together, my amazing boyfriend would make me mixtapes every so often. He has the amazing ability to pick songs that I don’t know yet and grow to love.

I listened to one of his tapes over the weekend and remembered this amazing song by Misisipi Rider. I was disgruntled to discover via Youtube that they toured San Francisco earlier this year!

Note to self: Never miss another show by Misisipi Rider. At least I can be there vicariously via youtube.

Here they are, performing at Cafe Du Nord. I’m so thankful for the sheer talent of my fellow humans. 😀

In love with that song as much as I am? The studio version is even better. Download the mp3 and support independent musicians! (Seriously, of that 99 cents, how much do you think Misisipi Rider gets??)

I love Mannequins

I have a bit of a collection.

Apropos of nothing, I spotted a couple of pairs of men’s mannequin legs in some strange places recently.

Perched outside of my old stomping grounds, Cloyne Court Hotel & Casino:

And adorning some majorly cool person’s desk at the offices of the East Bay Express:

I’m thinking it might be time to add some men’s legs — complete with junk — to my collection as well. Continue Reading