What a day! Mike was absent. In Science I did my presentation. I was really nervous. Mr. Rose didn’t go in any particular order so when he called my name, I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t speak loud enough, so Mr. Rose was always telling me to speak louder. When I finished people clapped. I mean they actually clapped. The funny thing is that I don’t remember them clapping for anyone else. Lord, I wish I had paid more attention. It made me so nervous that they clapped. I don’t know why.
Alexis wasn’t especially bitchy today. I don’t see her at all until block. You know, when I stopped eating w/ them I lost all my connections to guys. Earlier in the year I was always talking to some guy. Whether it was Billy or Dave S. or Jeff. I kind of wish I was still in that part of our group. What group? There isn’t a group. There are a bunch of people that eat lunch near each other but no “group”. I kinda like it better this way, I just walk from place to place with different people. I just wish I was welcome in the little group that Ana, Alexis, and Natalie seem to have formed.
Robbie likes Keri R. I mean, she’s nice, and all, but they’re going to go out. I can’t help but to be jealous: I was talking to him in block, (Yipeeeeeee) and he said that he won’t ask Keri out ’cause Kelly H. (the bitch) likes him and it would be uncomfortable. For some reason, I found myself telling him to ask her out. I geuss I’d rather have him be happy and me miserable, then him miserable and me miserable. She might say no, but she’ll probably say yes. noble, eh?
What a weekend! I did so much and got so much! I got that new/old stereo and a new sweater. It is forest green and so warm! I love it! Tomorrow I’m going to wear it with black jeans and a black turtleneck. I made some new earrings tonight that I’ll wear w/ it. Black socks and shoes complete the outfit. I made two gorgeous chockers at Emily’s last night. I’ll probably wear one of them on Tues.
I think Mike liked me last year. I think he likes me this year too. So what does that tell me? It tells me that if he didn’t ask me out last year why would he this year? I know, I should let it get out that I like him but I don’t want too. It might give him more confidence and then he’d ask me out but I don’t want it out! And then if the other guys I like hear I’ll lose all chance of going out with them! Same thing if I went out w/ Mike but that would be different…
I’m doing it again. I like the guy I can’t have. He’s in the cliche and everything. Same as Chan. But it’s different. I might actually have a chance w/ Mike.
After 2 1/2 years plus of working out of my living room and running Artsy Geek via Skype and coffee shop meetings, I felt life was passing me by.
It wasn’t that I didn’t get out…I did. But not as much as I wanted to.
It’s funny the strange packages answers to dreams come in. I met with a potential client last week. We instantly hit it off and she was telling me about how she needed to get an office space immediately. I asked her what she was looking for in the office space. When her words echoed my needs exactly, I ventured to mention my interest.
Not two days later she had found us an affordable office space with room to entertain clients and interns housed in one of the coolest art gallery / warehouse spaces I had ever visited on my Oakland Art Murmur wanderings.
Yesterday at Natalie’s b-day party, I had a great time. Alexis wasn’t being especially bitchy or anything. She was just acting sort of… well I geuss you could say she was ignoring me, but she did try to talk to me a few times. She was doing a pretty good job of acting like it was okay between us until we were on out way home from the movie theatre. Erika H. called me some stupid name and I turned my head upside down so I could see her in the seat behind me. Alexis was also sitting behind me. From my position, (upside-down) I could see both Erika and Alexis. I glanced at Alexis and for the split second I was watching her, I saw that she was glaring at me. I swear, her eyes were narrowed and her lips were puckered up. I think she’s capable of doing anything when she’s that mad!
I wonder what I’d say if Mike would ask me out. Of course I’d say yes but how? I don’t want to act totally deperate by jumping for it. Then again, I don’t want to act like it’s no big deal because it is! Read on…
I wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend. I mean, would he walk with you to your classes? Would he give you a hug when you leave each other? God, I hope so. I’ve never been hugged by a guy. That’s because I have no real guy friends. I have some but not good friends.
Dad gave me the stereo system that was in the Computer Room. I asked for it last night, but I wasn’t serious. Now I have it! It’s so much nicer than the old little one I had before.
Tomorrow’s Natalie’s party. I hope Alexis isn’t a bitch. She will be anyway, since it’s her natural behaviour. She come from a long line of bitches. I bet her mom’s a bitch, her gradma’s a bitch and so on. I’ll bet.
I was thinking that one time when me and Alexis are going to have a really big fight, I’ll have to me going out w/ Mike for more than two weeks. That way I can say, “At least I can keep my boyfriends for more than two weeks!” I swear she’s afraid of an realationship. I read in YM that if a girl is quick to insult her ex, she wants him back. And at the drop of a pin she’ll insult Jeff and Roger. She’s such a loser. Even more about Alexis? You bet! And a romance life update!
I named my new GAP Baby bear after Mike. I named him dubleve sanc cinq for W5. It’s in french. W5 is for Who, What, Where When, and Why. Get it? I named my dog that I got him from Great America Martin for Robbie M . Not that he’s a dog or anything. I can always change that one, though. Yestaerday Robbie asked me if I was going out w/ Mike S. I said no, of course. How could he insult me that way. I’d never go out with him. He can be sweet and I consider him a friend. Then, Robbie asked me if I’d gone out w/ Andy. Again I had to say I didn’t.
Emily says Mike was watching me in French. She said she turned around to ask him for a piece of paper and he was watching me. Maybe I have a chance with him.
Before we moved in together, my amazing boyfriend would make me mixtapes every so often. He has the amazing ability to pick songs that I don’t know yet and grow to love.
I listened to one of his tapes over the weekend and remembered this amazing song by Misisipi Rider. I was disgruntled to discover via Youtube that they toured San Francisco earlier this year!
Note to self: Never miss another show by Misisipi Rider. At least I can be there vicariously via youtube.
Here they are, performing at Cafe Du Nord. I’m so thankful for the sheer talent of my fellow humans.
