Rejoice! Robbie and Keri broke up today. Now he’s free and I’m supposed to make my move, which I kind of already have. See, last night Ana and I were going through the yearbook (on the phone) trying to find guys to like. Anyway we said we couldn’t like Robbie because we was taken. So, at lunch I mentioned (to Ana, Natalie & Alexis) that we could like him now. Kristen B. heard it and told Robbie I liked him. Then Tom W. came over to ask me if I liked Robbie – I denied it but Ana said that I was madly in love w/ him. Alexis backed up the story. Soon, I was denying that I liked him left and right – to everyone but Robbie. Then people said he was going to ask me out and would I go out with him. Tom W. asked me out for him – but Alexis told him to have Robbie ask me out himself. I saw very little of Robbie today. Anyway, in block Kristen told me it was all a big joke and he wasn’t going to ask me out – but Cassie said he was. I have no idea what’s going on in Robbie’s head. Or in mine. I don’t know what to think or feel. I really want him to ask me out tomorrow but I don’t know if I’d say yes. Alexis wants me to say yes. I have a feeling she feels bad because I’ve never gone out with anyone and she has. I just wish the talk would stop All of it. There’s A LOT more. More gossip after the jump!
the diary project
School was hell. After french Emily told me some news that I rather she hadn’t. She said he said that he knew that I (the girl in the pink sweatshirt) liked him. When Em asked him how he came to that conclusion, he said it was because I asked him to dance. I feel like crying – but the tears won’t come. How can he know? He keeps referring to me as though he doesn’t know who I am. Yet, nothing fits. It’s all just an impossible jigsaw puzzle. He knows who I am, I know that. I was in his block class last year. I don’t think it’s possible for him to think I am a different person than I was. My name is on my PE clothes and I’m in French. Last (we were in school) Friday or so he said that my hair was going gray. If he knows me enough to insult me, he must know my name. Last year he stole my inhaler and paid 5$ for the pigpen he broke. I’m so confused. There’s no one I can talk to about this except Emily and I feel uncomfortable calling her. I’m so confused. One things for sure – I don’t want to talk about him- hear about him or talk to him until I have reached some conclusion about this whole mess. Man, what a mess, right?
A perfect day – but not a perfect ending. I feel like I’m about to cry. For no particular reason. I was listening to Kenny G. and a wave of saddness came over me. I have no idea why. Suddenly I really wanted to go back to school and see all those people I adore. I miss them all. But on Mon. I won’t see the most familiary friendly face of all. Becky will be in Tecas completing another day of hell – I won’t be seeing her anytime soon. I miss her sooo much. For some reason tonight brought back some feelings. Not very good ones. I don’t know what they’re from, but if anything happened right now – I would break out crying. It might happen anyway.
Today I went to Tower Records and got “music Box” – Mariah Carey, “janet” Janet Jackson, the soundtrack for The Bodyguard – Whitney Houston & “Breathless” – Kenny G. I spent $30! Now I’m borke and I didn’t get half the stuff I wanted! Do you remember buying cassette tapes at the mall as a pre-teen??
Happy New Year!
I wanted to have a party but Emily came over and I couldn’t have had more fun. Except maybe w/ Becky & Emily! I (we) called Becky at 11, thinking it might be midnight there! It was 1! I got to remember that Texas is a 2 hour difference.
All vacation I have been thinking about Mike. I can still see him walking up to Mrs. Capitani’s desk with his Sharks non-parka on – he was SO CUTE. Just like a big teddy bear! Except he’s not overstuffed!
I can’t even remember what song we kinda danced to – if you can count what we did as dancing. I think it was UB40 – Can’t Help Falling in Love – but I guess I’ll never know.
For Xmas I got iceskates! and a walkman! and a few singles & the soundtrack to Free Willy.
That about wraps it up. I’m not excactly dissapointed but in my stocking I got peanuts! Jeezz! Santa didn’t come, either. I don’t really mind – I love what I got! Were you a Free Willy fan? I remember LOVING that movie.
Grandma is coming in the morning. With her comes trouble. Mom and Grandma don’t exactly get along–it has something to do with her childhood. Grandma will be bringing gifts from Aunt Linda and hers. The tree is filled with presents–but only one for me! It’s from Ellen! Sara hasn’t “gotten” my present yet–I think she’s “getting”‘ me $.
I hate vacation–sure I get to sleep in and do whatever I feel like, but I don’t see my friends or dubleve cinq! Last time I saw d.c., he said I looked like an old lady–my roots white. Nikki defended me–we’re becoming good friends! (boring entry?)
Don’t you love that 12-year-old me was asking y’all what you thought? So what do you think? Boring?
Tonight was the band concert. It wasn’t quite the same w/o Becky. Last concert, after we played, Becky and I sat together and someone was tapping us on the shoulders the entire time. It was so fun. Tonight I looked around the gym and everything was the same. Mom and Dad sat in their same places, as always. The only difference was the school banner said 93/94 instead of 92/93. And Becky wasn’t there. The Jazz Bank played “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer again. My dad told me to meet him in the same spot as we have been in the past.
Everything was so alike yet so different. Becki R. didn’t have a broken arm… Amy V., Andrew C., Scott G. and alot more were in the Symphonic Band, we were in concert… Becky’s mom wasn’t video taping us… I wasn’t having a good time talking to Becky — instead Emily was telling me to shut up…
Becky wasn’t there!
I wish she was… I would have gone home w/ her or the other way around, we would have had a good laugh at my breaking my sunglasses, the night and the whole year would have been different. I’ll never find another Becky. Were you a band geek? Do you remember your middle school band concerts?
I’m so hurt. Emily still hasn’t called. I didn’t go to school today. I don’t know if she did either. I didn’t bother to call to find out though. Whenever I do call she acts like she doesn’t want to talk to me, so why bother? Why hasn’t she called to find out what happened at the dance? If I were in her shoes, I would have called the first chance I got. Even if I was sick. Even if I was busy. Becky called and she hasn’t! Is she mad? I geuss I’ll find out tomorrow at school.
What do you think? Is she mad?
It’s supposed to be a happy time. We got our tree today. The day was going great til we got the tree home.
Mom and Dad were putting the tree in the holder and I couldn’t wait to start decorating it. Then Dad got a phone call and Mom went up to do the laundry. Me and Sara were putting the train together, in order to wait for Mom & Dad to come to join us so we could put up the ornaments. I was upset because the track wasn’t cooperating and Sara was being annoying. Also Mom & Dad were supposed to be helping. Dad got off the phone but still didn’t help. Xmas is a happy, family togetherness time I geuss he was working or something. Mom came but didn’t help, just stood around watching. I tried to hold back the tears and have fun. Finally Mom and Dad started fixing dinner, so I ditched Sara and came up to my room to cry, which I’m doing now.
For years the whole family has helped decorating the tree. Now dad has decided to break the tradition. Did your parents ever betray you this way??
Last night was the dance. I would have written last night but I was at Alexis’ house and I needed some time to sort out my feelings.
I had a great time. 3 is the charm! I was hopeful about dancing w/ Mike, but I was having a great time. About the 7th or 8th slow song, Jeff asked me to dance. We didn’t dance the whole song, but everyone was laughing. For the last dances I hung around in a great big group of people including Kerry R., Robbie, Alexis, Cassie, Danielle P., and more. We were right near the cliche and it seemed like I was having a better time that they were. They’re to exclusive. The DJ did snowball, where every time he says snowball you change dance partners. He did it to Gangsta Lean. I was standing right near Mike, but he didn’t ask me to dance! Why do I have to like a shy guy?
I told Tamara I liked Mike, and the very next slow song she decided I was going to dance with him. She went up to him and asked him if he’d dance with me. He said yes, if he knew who I was! I hope he was either playing dumb or couldn’t hear my name clearly. Tamara pointed me out and dragged him over to me. I gave Tamara what I hope looked like a bewildered glance, and then looked at Mike. We looked at each other for a few seconds then I shrugged and so did he. I put my arms around his neck; he put his arms around my waist and the song ended! It’s funny, I swear. The few seconds we were dancing weren’t wonderful as I had hoped. They were dissapointing! When the song ended, he yelled “yes” threw his hands up in the arm in a Y and headed to the cliche. He acted as if he didn’t want to dance w/ me. Did he?
I also danced with some guy Jeff set me up w/.
Alexis started to cry sometime during the dance; Ana joined her. Alexis was cring because the only people she danced with wrere Mark Miscelli and Keorber. She was also crying because Jeff had asked every single girl around her to dance, but not her; how mean! Ana was crying because she wanted to dance w/ anyone. The climax of the evening came when Alexis and Jeff were outside talking. When they came back in they were both crying! It was a funny sight to see Jeff crying! I don’t mean to be harsh but it was! Jeff was crying because he thought Alexis hated him. He and Alexis danced the last dance, and you couldn’t wedge a CD in between them.
You know, I’ve been thinking that maybe it might bot be that great to be in the cliche. Sure, you have a dance partner every dance but think how Amy must feel! She never dances w/ anyone outside the cliche! That, in my opinion, is even worse than never dancing at all. She and Mike danced a few times.
People who know I like Mike
OH NO!!!!
Emily,
Ana,
Alexis,
Natalie,
Tamara,
Cassie
Someone I don’t even know! Remember how horrible it was when people knew who you liked???
Alexis and I are friends again.
Wait, seriously?? The last three weeks have been filled with anti-Alexis rants and all we get is "Alexis and I are friends again"??
Tomorrow night is the dance, and I’m going! I don’t know if I’ll have fun or not but I’m willing to take that risk. Alexis and I are carpooling and then I’m going to spend the night at her house. I hope we don’t fight.
After school I called Emily, to tell her that Christy wasn’t going to the dance. Wonderful News! Emily isn’t going either. Emily didn’t seem to want to talk to me. I understand that she’s sick but it seems like she’s mad at me. I sensed our friendship getting rocky awhile ago but now that she’s absent, every time I call her she doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. I haven’t seen her all week and I would like to know what is going on with her. She doesn’t seem to want to know what’s going on with me, though. I hope she still cares…
I don’t know what to wear to the dance! It’s formal. Geuss what it’s called! The “Winter Wonderland Dance.” Corny! Who come’s up with these names?
I miss Becky. I always could count on her. She and I were always fighting but it never lasted. She always let me know if she was mad. Is Emily mad? I bet she was mad. What do you think?
