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On this day of celebrating things we love, I’d like to take a moment and celebrate one of the best moments in Days of Our Lives history (in my opinion).

Back in 2003 (I think), Salem was stalked by, well, the Salem Stalker. Gotta love that alliteration.

Anyway, many main characters were killed, and here’s a video of the first of the seven murders. I love youtube.

On New Years Eve, Roman was killed at his and Kate’s wedding*. What followed was a very, very long day filled with police investigations and a lot of talking. Hey, there was a murderer in their midst. Everyone was a suspect and no one was safe.

This day lasted straight through the February 13th episode, in which Brady walked into mansion and said to Nicole, “Is it just me or has this day felt like weeks?!”

It was a rare moment where Days of Our Lives made fun of its very soap opera-esque nature. I loved it, and I love it to this day.

The next day was the Valentine’s Day episode (that probably itself lasted a week) in which all the Salemites were busily expressing their undying love and devotion to their partners. AND, it must be noted, every Valentine’s Day on Days of Our Lives, the men perform dizzying feats of romance — rooftop candlelit dinners, engagement rings in champagne glasses, miraculous returns from being held hostage.

On this day of recognizing love, let’s recognize the idiosyncrasies that make the things we love (like Days of Our Lives) what they are. And let’s be reasonable. A rooftop candlelit dinner is probably not in the cards, but a tender embrace and a pastry probably are. Life is perfect if you love it as it is.

*I know! Roman and Kate!! CRAZY.

Our Rental Resume

by Jen the Megalomaniac on February 13, 2012

We made a huge mistake when we picked our most recent roommate. Huge. I honestly can’t understand where we went wrong, but we picked someone who is so completely non-suited to living with us that it’s almost hilarious. Apparently the expectation that one would do their dishes in a timely manner / pitch in with the housework / not leave rotting food everywhere is a little too much for some people.

He claims he’s moving on, but we don’t really believe it. Our landlord forces us to put our roommates on the lease, so we’re pretty much powerless to force him to leave. Unless I pull out all the bitch in me, which I’m really, really trying to avoid doing. But it is so hard. Last week he left a bowl of rotting rice on the counter for SEVEN DAYS. Will had to ask him to deal with it before it was gone. By the end, it was literally coated in black mold. I almost took a photo to prove it to you guys but that’s just gross.

In the end, this might be a good thing. This foray into terrible-roommate-land has left Will and I wanting our own place. And now we are on the hunt.

With everyone else. We love living in the Temescal neighborhood of Oakland, but there’s not a lot available and a great many people are looking. After our first open house, I knew we needed to do something to make ourselves stand out. I’d heard of the concept of a “Rental Resume” where you summarize why the property owner should choose you. Our attempt after the jump!

I’m pretty obsessed lately with the newest Paul Simon album, “So Beautiful or So What?”.

At first it was his fantastic song about bureaucracy in the afterlife, The Afterlife.

And now it’s Questions for the Angels. My favorite line:

If you shop for love in a bargain store
And you don’t get what you bargained for
Can you get your money back?

Beautiful song, yes? We wouldn’t expect anything less from Paul Simon, though, would we? What song have you been loving lately?

Post image for Loca

Loca

by Jen the Megalomaniac on February 9, 2012

I want to hear from you!!  To that end, I’ve peppered this site with little text boxes where you can share your thoughts and questions without my having ANY IDEA who you are.

Here’s one, in case you want to use it.

Anyway, the other day, I got a submission.  One of you said, simply…

Loca

Well, whoever you are, I am not sure I know what you meant.  Am I crazy?  Are you crazy?  Are we all crazy?

And how crazy is it that there’s an upscale wine bar in France that serves their wine cocktails with candy as the garnish???  Is that not the craziest at all?

You said it.  Loca.  Time for a glass of wine, wouldn’t you say?

Post image for The Gus Report

The Gus Report

by Jen the Megalomaniac on February 7, 2012

Every year the Guster gets his annual exam from our holistic veterinarians, Creature Comfort. He does not like going to the vet.  He meows and meows and meows and nine car rides out of ten pees in the cat carrier.  Such fun!

Last year, we discovered that he had arthritis in his hind legs and that he was a whopping 17 pounds! His rings of fat only make his arthritis worse. Poor buddy.

Since that development, we’ve been working diligently on getting him to lose weight — even going so far as to subbing out some of his food for mashed pumpkin!  He was really unhappy with that in the beginning, but he’s acclimated alright.  He meows to high heaven all day long because he’s starving, but if he were starving, wouldn’t he have lost more than a pound in the past year?  Sure you’re starving, cat, sure you are.

The vet was sure to point out that losing a pound is quite an accomplishment for an older kitty like Gus.  It’s over 5% of his bodily mass after all! Five points for our furry hero.

I shared with the vet that overall he’s pretty happy (besides the starvation complaints) but that he’s having trouble jumping up on the bed.  To combat that, Dr. Jenny recommends that we sprinkle Nutramax Cosequin for Cats on his dinners to help with his joint health.  He’s turning 12 this year and Cosequin for Cats is apparently a good addition for any aging feline.  Good joint health means a happier kitty.  Done.

Sidenote: Do you have a recommendation for some sexy pet stairs??  I’m in the market.  All the pet stairs I’ve found are terrifyingly ugly.  Gus has an eye for style, you know.  He’s not going to use just any pet stairs to get up to the bed.  I’m thinking something that makes him feel like the king he is…fuzzy red carpet…luxurious padding…

We won’t know for a few days how his blood work turned out, but Gus was sure a sport about the whole thing.  He only peed in the cat carrier once!  How’s that for a happy ending?  Five more points for the Gusman!

Boring post or the most boring post ever?? Vote in the comments!

I’ve been obsessed with Mad Men since my mom and her sisters got in a big fight about why her sisters wouldn’t watch it in October of 2010. See, my mom was a working lady in that era much like Peggy, and she took offense at the fact that her sisters didn’t like the show. They got it sorted out eventually and then all of us sat down to watch an episode.

I came home and spent the next two weeks doing nothing but watching every Mad Men episode there was. Since then, Mad Men has caused us to get cable (grrr…Comcast) and many a discussion about Don, Peggy, Pete, Roger…

In fact, when our downstairs neighbors moved and we got a Pete in their place we made jokes about keeping him away from our non-existent nanny. Oh yeah, we’re hilarious.

Like so many of my fellow Mad Men fans, I’ve been riding the stages of grief over the fact that AMC has taken the better part of two years getting the new season going. What’s up with that??

Well, AMC FINALLY announced the date of the premiere of Season 5.  To commemorate this occasion (and anxiously wait for it), I — with the help of my most favorite graphic designer Lindsay and the web development skillz of my web shop, Artsy Geek — created Countdown to Mad Men, the second-to-second update about how long we have to wait for our next fix.

So, join me at CountdowntoMadMen.com and let’s wait with baited breath for the return of our favorite drunks, chauvinists and philanderers.  And if you like it, help me spread the word.  We all need something to look forward to. it’s hot, right? And useful too, right?

Post image for all in one day I…

all in one day I…

by Jen the Megalomaniac on January 26, 2012

…referenced my recent psychic reading over a cocktail while catching up with a friend…

and

…bitched to high heaven about a woman discussing what chakras her children were in.

Can we say hypocrite?? Only in the Bay, am I right?

It turns out my friend Dave from college has a cat also named Gus.

After I recovered from my overwhelming anger, I asked for a photo.

And…it turns out that this Gus is damn cute too. Gus really is a good cat name, isn’t it?

Awhile ago I posted about my painful life lesson: skinny jeans rip.  I was in love with my skinny jeans — wearing them all the time — and then RIIIP boom they had a big old hole in the crotch.

Well since then I must have lost three more pairs of jeans — skinny or otherwise — to holes in the crotch or butt.  They’ve been accumulating in a pile waiting to be taken to the tailor so that I might get them repaired and wear them again.

I’m fairly slow at accomplishing that sort of non-essential life task.  Thankfully in the interim I discovered the solution: wear bike shorts underneath!

No matter how you look at it, I’m saving money.  I’m not buying new jeans, and I’m not paying a tailor. And, you know, the number of people inspecting my crotch for holes is probably pretty small, so I figure I’m fooling the majority of the people.  It’s cool, you can use this insight. Just give me credit.

First Presbyterian on Broadway in Oakland isn’t for you.  Despite the playground off to the side, they don’t seem quite sure whether childcare is provided. Hilarious, right?

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