Lunch is different. It’s wierd with everyone together. Dave, Doug & Jordan are eating with us. Jordan is in my Language Arts & P.E. classes.
Back to lunch. Natalie asked if she could talk to me, but I regret to say that I was a bad friend and didn’t. I thought she wanted to talk about Dave and I, when she wanted to talk about her and Jordan. Later I saw Em and her talking alone. I walked over to see what was going on. Em basically told me to butt out. I felt a surge of hurt and anger run through me. Emily told me that she would tell me everything she said later. I said that I didn’t want to hear it from her and pushed her, since that’s what we’ve been doing. I meant it to be a joking gesture but I guess when I’m hurt, I’m a lot stronger than normal. She said that it hurt, pushed me back angrily and told me to get lost.
Then, after school, she pretends nothing happened. I decided not to call either of them although I really need to pour out my heart to someone. Who can you talk to when both of your best friends hurt you?!
My art class is hell. Do you know what it’s like to be in a class where there are only six girls and you don’t know anyone really well? Or to be in a health class where your teacher treats you like a teachers pet wants you to TA for her? Well it’s hell. I also don’t know anyone in my health class but Mrs. Forbes had me work with Pat S. I was supposed to do the last 15 questions and he do the first 15. He had them finished. Mrs. Forbes had us work together after I had already done the first 10. I felt like an imbisol because I was only on 20 and he had the first 15 done. I barely know anyone in my P.E. class except for Emily C, Jordan and Dave. Michael S. is in it, but he doesn’t count. My love life is going nowhere and it doesn’t help having Michael S. rubbing it in every P.E. period.
I realize now that Dave has eyes only for Natalie and that if he ever looked beyond Natalie I probably wouldn’t even be considered a friend.
I really need to talk to someone. I’m ready to burst out crying any second. Erika never returned my call and both my best friends, well, I can’t talk to them about them. And I’m sick of Emily’s insults. OK, so they’re not meant to be insults, but they come out as insults. I really don’t mind the jokes but it’s just everyday things that she says. I swear, I wish I was somewhere else just floating on a wonderful lake without a care in the world.
(Jennifer Heller, soon to be in Guiness Book of World Records for getting the oldest in the world without a boyfriend)