Let’s Talk About You For Once, Esme

by Jennifer Heller on October 4, 2012

A few months back, I added a page to this site suggesting we talk about you for once and mining for some info to feature.

After all, there’s only so much Jennifer Heller people can stand. Let’s be honest.

On July 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm, Esme filled out my form, making her the first feature in the Let’s Talk About You For Once series.

Esme. Tell me. What are your dreams?

“To sail around the world, alone, but with a crew, a chef, a masseuse and a matador.”

Damn but that does sound nice. We all need a personal masseuse.

A matador, though? Now I get where you’re coming from Esme. A matador would be damn sexy to have around. But on a boat? Does the bull come too?

Sail away with a matador...yes, please.

I commend you on a fantastic recipe for adventure there!

What are your problems?

“Can’t find my cat.”

It’s been awhile since July 27 and I really and truly hope that you have found your cat by now. One time we lost Gus and it was the worst day of my life. If he’s still missing, send me an email and I’ll refer you to my pet psychic. She’s great at helping to find cats. I also suggest you put “special needs” on the flyer — that really motivates people.

Speaking of cats, I don’t know where on the internet this comes from, but hopefully it will brighten your day:

Have you seen this cat because it's awesome.

I would cite my source if I could.

What makes you happy?

“The sound of cracking ice when gin is poured.”

Hell yes. You’re speaking my language, girlfriend. Do you drink gin on the rocks? Or do you stir it on the rocks until it’s chilled? Or do you shake it? And what is your preferred gin drink? I’m thinking we need a follow up entry on this.

What did you have for breakfast?

“Coffee and a marlboro….maybe a donut chaser”

Mmmmmm…. I love donuts. How do you not know if you had one? Around here we can only get vegan donuts. Truth be told, they’re really good even if they are vegan.

Have you ever seen a coffee plant? Did you know that you can keep them as house plants? I don’t know much about that, other than that someone somewhere did once. Also, they are pretty when they flower:

A flowering coffee plant

“…but enough about me.
What do YOU think of me?”

You know, Esme, this feature is supposed to be about you!! But since you asked…I think you’re awesome. I love your imagination and your life! I don’t actually think that Esme is your real name, but I appreciate that you took the time to fill out my form so I could blog about you. I hope we’ve met in real life, and if we haven’t, let’s make it happen!

Mostly, I think you should forgive me for taking so long to post about you on this here blog. Forgive me?

What’s your sign?

“Soft Shoulder”

Not really what I was going for, but you know what they say…different boats for different folks. Or whatever.

Supply a photo?

True Esme

What a great photo. Were you really on a magazine cover?? And did you rendez-vous with shame? Now that is a story I need to hear.

Three cheers and many thanks to Esme for being our first feature!

How about you? What are your dreams? What did you have for breakfast?

Talk to us


@jennifer_heller ok I'm totally filling this out later.

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