My date with the millionaire

Background: the forecast, the initial proposal

From: Jennifer Sue
Reply-To: Jennifer Sue
Bcc: Dad Sue , zach Sue , Julia Sue , G. Sue , Will Sue
Date: Apr 15, 2005 10:08 AM
Subject: My Date with the Millionaire
Reply Reply to all Forward Print Add sender to Contacts list Trash this message Report phishing Show original

So, this is how the date with the millionaire went. (Feel free to spread this around the office, Dad.)

I was nervous. I remember hearing that he was shy and REALLY wanted a girlfriend. Not a good start.

He did NOT come to the door. Rather, I called him while he was on his way over, and he asked if he should call when he got here. Seeing an easy way out of introducing him to my mother (I mean, really, we are adults here), I readily agreed. He arrived and called (didn’t park – at least not on the right side of the street), but he did get out of the car.* I had Mom follow me out and take a picture of him from behind the gate. I’m pretty sure he noticed, but didn’t bat an eyelash (+2 Patrick points (P.p.).

* Denise – I really do not feel that it’s rude in this day and age to wait outside. Cell phones are the new doorbell!

He looked like a millionaire, dressed well in nice blue jeans, a black shirt and a white striped button down overshirt (actually, quite tasteful). And he’s much cuter than I remembered (+5 P.p.). We got into his Mercedes-Benz convertable roadster, but it was too cold to put the top down (-1 P.p.).

Thankfully, Mom had printed out the night’s movie schedule and written on it whether the critics liked them or not. Nothing was playing at a convenient time, and so we decided to eat first (though he’d had a sausage earlier in the day). Turns out he likes organic food. (+5 P.p.).

Anyway, we walk around Hacienda Crossings, but I refuse to go to Macaroni Grill, and there’s not much else. So then I suggest Main Street, and we go there and have a wonderfully delicious meal at Pastas? It’s right next to that coffee place (Coffee Beans & Things? – the one near Tully’s). We dined on bruschetta, and I had the crab stuffed prawns. He chose the special, a crab stuffed filet of halibut. I had a glass of the Mondavi Cab. Turns out he doesn’t drink much wine (-4 P.p.). Dinner conversation consisted of a rather dismal discussion of the future oil crisis (I brought it up – minus 10 Jennifer points (J.p.), but we’re not really keeping track of those). Then we moved on to corporate abuse of disposable products to encourage American consumerism, followed by a lovely chat about his family and Sweden. He goes there two months of the year!! Anyway, dinner conversation was lovely and he paid for everything. Plus 15 P.p..

Back to the movie theatre. We finally decided to see Million Dollar Baby. A good choice, because a good movie, but other than that a real downer and really REALLY long. We have some little Snickers bites. They weren’t very impressive (-10 Snickers points). The movie was long. I was tired. I finally got home at 12:20, and he was very polite. Quite a gentleman, opening doors and the such. My conclusion: both Southern men and foreign men have manners (for the most part).

So, in conclusion, it was a good date. On the scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is what results from my signing up to be on that terrible Blind Date show, and 10 is oh my god, it turns out my blind date is Orlando Bloom and Heidegger has just made a huge impression on him, I rate it a 7.3.

Yes, we’re going to go out again sometime. Yes, I curled my hair. No, he didn’t invite me to Sweden. No, I never found out his last name. He’s a gemini.

ReplyForward

————————————————————————————
>
> Dad Sue to me
> More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)
>
>Whoa, this is more detail than I anticipated? I have forwarded it to
>the proper authorities. What is the highest scoring date you have
>had?
>
>Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2005 10:23:24 -0700
>To: Dad Sue
>From: Dad Sue’s coworker 1
>Subject: Re: Fwd: My Date with the Millionaire
>
>>>How does she expect us to do some real investigating without a
>>>last name? Geez!! She should kiss him on the next date for a basic
>>>chemistry test.
>
>”A day without chocolate is a day wasted.”
>
>————————————————————————————

Dad Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

>To: Dad Sue
>From: Dad Sue’s coworker 2
>Subject: Re: Fwd: My Date with the Millionaire
>
>They change their minds a lot. So in May, a Gemini might think he
>can’t possible live another day without an iPod, but then two days
>before his birthday, he’ll say Apple sucks … he doesn’t want to
>support that awful company, he would never be seen with an iPod …
>iPods are destroying the moral foundation of America and only Steve
>Jobs is getting rich. For his birthday, he just wants to have a
>quiet picnic at the beach with his closest friends, especially
>Sandi, his friend from New York who now lives in Portugal. Maybe she
>would fly out for the weekend.
>
>Oh, dear. Sorry to go on and on. I was just channeling a friend.
>
>>>Why?
>>
>>
>>>Oh, no … not a Gemini. It’s so hard to buy presents for them.
>>>cm
>————————————————————————————

Jennifer Sue to Dad Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

you know, on second thought, i give it a 6.9. My highest is probably a 7.3. But I don’t go on too many dates. If 10 is a date with Orlando Bloom, though, last night certainly can’t be a 7.3. Please let everyone know how I’ve reconsidered.
– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

Mom Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

You didn’t send me your report but I did get a copy of it from Daddy. Why do you think he knew I was hiding behind the gate?

– Show quoted text –
————————————————————————————

Jennifer Sue to Mom Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

i just put that in for comic effect. You aren’t mad are you?

ReplyForward

————————————————————————————

Mom Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

No. I was just worried it was true.
– Show quoted text –
————————————————————————————

Jennifer Sue to Mom Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

so, did you get a good picture of Patrick?!!
ReplyForward
————————————————————————————

Mom Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

No I was too freaked. I did get a picture of the car with a tree going up the middle of it.

– Show quoted text –
————————————————————————————

Julia Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

Fish stuffed with more fish: -15 date points. Ew!

At least you found out the important shit, i.e. his sign and how much
time he spends in Sweden.

La la!

————————————————————————————
Jennifer Sue to Julia Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

it’s actually fish stuffed with shell fish. not quite the same thing!

– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

Julia Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

whatEVER, yours was shellfish stuffed with shellfish.

– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

Jennifer Sue to Julia Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

good point. it was damn good though.
– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

Julia Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

i’m suuuuuuuuuure.

i wanna go on a date. sniff sniff.

– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

Jennifer Sue to Julia Sue
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

hee hee!! and i have another to go on sometime.
– Show quoted text –

————————————————————————————

G. Sue to me
More options Apr 15 (4 days ago)

million dollar baby? how apropos!

– Show quoted text –

Join the conversation

0 thoughts on “My date with the millionaire

  1. “Anyway, dinner conversation was lovely and he paid for everything. Plus 15 P.p..”

    Is that 1 P.p. for the conversation and 14 for the payment?

  2. “Anyway, dinner conversation was lovely and he paid for everything. Plus 15 P.p..”

    Is that 1 P.p. for the conversation and 14 for the payment?

  3. Damn, homie, this shit be driving me crazy! Apropos is NOT synonymous with appropriate:

    ap·ro·pos
    adj.
    Being at once opportune and to the point. See Synonyms at relevant.

    adv.
    At an appropriate time; opportunely.
    By the way; incidentally: Apropos, where were you yesterday?

    prep.
    With regard to; concerning: Apropos our date for lunch, I can’t go.

    Appropriate, in its adjective form (as opposed to the transitive verb), means suitable for a particular person, condition, occasion, or place; fitting.

  4. Damn, homie, this shit be driving me crazy! Apropos is NOT synonymous with appropriate:

    ap·ro·pos
    adj.
    Being at once opportune and to the point. See Synonyms at relevant.

    adv.
    At an appropriate time; opportunely.
    By the way; incidentally: Apropos, where were you yesterday?

    prep.
    With regard to; concerning: Apropos our date for lunch, I can’t go.

    Appropriate, in its adjective form (as opposed to the transitive verb), means suitable for a particular person, condition, occasion, or place; fitting.

  5. she’s right, you know. but i’m more concerned about this orlando bloom obsession. don’t you know that orlando bloom buttfucked my buddy danny’s slutty friend? how can you want to hook up with someone that goes around buttfucking my nasty friends’ nasty fuck buddies? que ridiculo!

  6. she’s right, you know. but i’m more concerned about this orlando bloom obsession. don’t you know that orlando bloom buttfucked my buddy danny’s slutty friend? how can you want to hook up with someone that goes around buttfucking my nasty friends’ nasty fuck buddies? que ridiculo!

Leave a Reply