Post image for Countdown to Mad Men

Countdown to Mad Men

January 27, 2012

I’ve been obsessed with Mad Men since my mom and her sisters got in a big fight about why her sisters wouldn’t watch it in October of 2010. See, my mom was a working lady in that era much like Peggy, and she took offense at the fact that her sisters didn’t like the show. They got it sorted out eventually and then all of us sat down to watch an episode.

I came home and spent the next two weeks doing nothing but watching every Mad Men episode there was. Since then, Mad Men has caused us to get cable (grrr…Comcast) and many a discussion about Don, Peggy, Pete, Roger…

In fact, when our downstairs neighbors moved and we got a Pete in their place we made jokes about keeping him away from our non-existent nanny. Oh yeah, we’re hilarious.

Like so many of my fellow Mad Men fans, I’ve been riding the stages of grief over the fact that AMC has taken the better part of two years getting the new season going. What’s up with that??

Well, AMC FINALLY announced the date of the premiere of Season 5.  To commemorate this occasion (and anxiously wait for it), I — with the help of my most favorite graphic designer Lindsay and the web development skillz of my web shop, Artsy Geek — created Countdown to Mad Men, the second-to-second update about how long we have to wait for our next fix.

So, join me at CountdowntoMadMen.com and let’s wait with baited breath for the return of our favorite drunks, chauvinists and philanderers.  And if you like it, help me spread the word.  We all need something to look forward to. it’s hot, right? And useful too, right?

Post image for Fri 1-14

Fri 1-14

January 27, 2012

Mom’s friend Celestra was staying with us for a few days. This morn she slept in my bed after I got up. Mom got her to leave after Dad threatened to call the police if she wasn’t gone. With her she took: the strength our family has a whole, my Santa bear Em gave me; the fake blue flower I bought; a washcloth; and an ashtray. Not to mention the peace.

Mom had to yell at her in order for her to leave. I wasn’t home then, but when I was home she asked if she could “borrow” my Santa bear and the flower. Now I’ll never see them again.

This is one MESSED UP lady. When she arrived on our door step Thursday during the day, Mom said that she just shoved herself in. She took advantage of our hospitality and ours too. When mom asked her to leave this afternoon, Mom said she just ignored her and wouldn’t leave. Dad says she’s crazy. Just a little bit.

After Mom yelled at her to get out she got mad and decided to get Mom back. So she took our stuff that I mentioned before and burnt one of our pans. A good pan.

The point is not that she took our stuff or burnt our pan but that she stayed in my room. She went through my drawers. She took my Santa bear and flower. That sick lady robbed me of my well-being. I don’t feel as though my stuff is mine anymore. She played my tapes. She watched my TV. She probably used my deoderent for all I know. When she used those things she took posession of them. Now the only thing I know in my heart is mine is the locket around my neck. And of corse my family. But Celestra caused a major fight between my parents and I just sat there connected to the fight but not connected to the fight. I just sat there. Silently watching as she robbed us of another thing. OUr family’s love, which is a lot of times all we have to go on. One things for sure tonight’s been as close to hell as I ever want to be. I just pray Celestra never comes back. OK I’m totally a drama queen, but that was messed up right? I remember that day so vividly…

Post image for all in one day I…

all in one day I…

January 26, 2012

…referenced my recent psychic reading over a cocktail while catching up with a friend…

and

…bitched to high heaven about a woman discussing what chakras her children were in.

Can we say hypocrite?? Only in the Bay, am I right?

Another cat named Gus??

January 24, 2012

It turns out my friend Dave from college has a cat also named Gus.

After I recovered from my overwhelming anger, I asked for a photo.

And…it turns out that this Gus is damn cute too. Gus really is a good cat name, isn’t it?

Post image for Thurs 1-13-94

Thurs 1-13-94

January 18, 2012

Man, what a welcome back.  I have been out since Mon with lice (everyone thinks I have strep throat except Em & Erika).  Anyway today was okay but I didn’t start the school day til 3°. While I was out, I cute my hair to make getting lice eggs out.  It’s now child length.  Anyway as it is in our tradition, Emily was absent today. I really wanted to see her, though.  Because Erika knew I had lice she wouldn’t hug me, although I really needed that hug.  I can count on her hug 3° to help me through the day.  Not anymore.

While I was gone we changed seats in block.  Now I’m sitting by Billy and Dave P. I don’t mind Billy, but Dave… I mean, this guy is…well really, really (tres, tres, TRES!) annoying.  He makes Shoemaker look like good company!  Hell he makes Erica seem like good company!  Anyway, he wrote this note to Alexis saying something like:

‘Do you want to give a bone to Jeff as much as Jeff wants to give a bone to you?’

‘knock, knock,
who’s there’
something, something…’

and signed it Jeff.  Anyway, when Alexis read that she started crying.  I mean, I can see how it might upset her, but crying is a little much.  Anyone would get upset, and I’m not meaning to offend Alexis in any way because she’s sensitive (I think) and I would get upset if I had gotten it.  I just wouldn’t have cried.

12 year old me felt it was necessary to accompany this story with this awesome depiction of Alexis' unnecessary tears. Way to drive the point home 12-year-old-me!

 

Anyway, tonight I got this depressing phone call from Alexis.  She was complaining about how, technically, in the popular pyramid, we’re just one step up from geeks like Shoemaker.  It was really depressing, ’cause I’d consider us somewhere in the middle.  I wouldn’t want to be on top – because in order to be on top you have to be majorly bitchy.

More Later. What do you think? Were tears a little much Alexis??

Stuff We Love: Guest Posts & SignNow.com

January 18, 2012

Today is a red letter day here at JenniferHeller.com.  We have our first GUEST POST!!!

Our guest post today is courtesy of Heather G. who supplied the following avatar:

Is that a cat playing guitar?  A gopher?  A chipmunk?  Whatever it is, it’s shiny and cute and lovable, just like I know Heather G. is in person (since we’re, you know, friends in real life).

And without further ado, here’s our guest post:

Stuff Heather G. Loves: SignNow.com

Since I have a job that gives me mediocre health insurance, I have made every sort of appointment possible. I’ve had moles removed, my sensitive areas swabbed, eyes checked, teeth cleaned and prescriptions filled. One of the most annoying parts of being a “new patient” is that the paperwork is freaking endless. In the spirit of time management, many of these offices provide New Patient Forms on their websites so I can leisurely tell them when my last menstrual period was or if I allergic to any medications and bring the forms with me on my first visit. It’s a lot of paperwork and once I hand it over to Beth at the front desk, I forget about it and move on with my life. Then I discovered SignNow.com—the website that makes signing documents ridiculously simple and even stores them for me, FOR FREE!. Here’s how it works:

  1. Upload any document
  2. Go to www.signnow.com
  3. Enter your signature (you can draw it or type it—it’s all binding and 100% legal thanks to the e-sign act of 2000. You can even upload your pen and ink signature and keep it there.)

They ask for no registration, no account, nada. Just upload and sign. And get this—when you are done (It takes about 15 seconds), they email you a copy of your document in pdf and you can choose to download it. Organizational and environmental me is in love.  Just think about the possibilities for freelancers, renters, petitions, oh I could go on and on. I love a good product and this one is sweet.

P.S. I can’t wait to tell you about my $58 hair conditioner. Worth every penny.

Thanks Heather G! That sounds like one hell of a time / headache / paper saver.

What do you love?  Tell me about it!  Send guest posts / rants / raves/ questions to fanmail@jenniferheller.com.  Or bitch@jenniferheller.com… whatever mood you’re in is okay by me. What do you think? Will Signnow.com save you time?

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Thurs. 1-6-93

January 10, 2012

Rejoice! Robbie and Keri broke up today.  Now he’s free and I’m supposed to make my move, which I kind of already have.  See, last night Ana and I were going through the yearbook (on the phone) trying to find guys to like.  Anyway we said we couldn’t like Robbie because we was taken.  So, at lunch I mentioned (to Ana, Natalie & Alexis) that we could like him now.  Kristen B. heard it and told Robbie I liked him.  Then Tom W. came over to ask me if I liked Robbie – I denied it but Ana said that I was madly in love w/ him.  Alexis backed up the story.  Soon, I was denying that I liked him left and right – to everyone but Robbie.  Then people said he was going to ask me out and would I go out with him.  Tom W. asked me out for him – but Alexis told him to have Robbie ask me out himself.  I saw very little of Robbie today.  Anyway, in block Kristen told me it was all a big joke and he wasn’t going to ask me out – but Cassie said he was.  I have no idea what’s going on in Robbie’s head.  Or in mine.  I don’t know what to think or feel.  I really want him to ask me out tomorrow but I don’t know if I’d say yes.  Alexis wants me to say yes.  I have a feeling she feels bad because I’ve never gone out with anyone and she has.  I just wish the talk would stop All of it.  There’s A LOT more. More gossip after the jump!

Post image for Money Saving Tip for 2012: Keep Wearing those Torn Jeans

Money Saving Tip for 2012: Keep Wearing those Torn Jeans

January 10, 2012

Awhile ago I posted about my painful life lesson: skinny jeans rip.  I was in love with my skinny jeans — wearing them all the time — and then RIIIP boom they had a big old hole in the crotch.

Well since then I must have lost three more pairs of jeans — skinny or otherwise — to holes in the crotch or butt.  They’ve been accumulating in a pile waiting to be taken to the tailor so that I might get them repaired and wear them again.

I’m fairly slow at accomplishing that sort of non-essential life task.  Thankfully in the interim I discovered the solution: wear bike shorts underneath!

No matter how you look at it, I’m saving money.  I’m not buying new jeans, and I’m not paying a tailor. And, you know, the number of people inspecting my crotch for holes is probably pretty small, so I figure I’m fooling the majority of the people.  It’s cool, you can use this insight. Just give me credit.

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Mon. 1-3-94

January 4, 2012

School was hell.  After french Emily told me some news that I rather she hadn’t.  She said he said that he knew that I (the girl in the pink sweatshirt) liked him.  When Em asked him how he came to that conclusion, he said it was because I asked him to dance.  I feel like crying – but the tears won’t come.  How can he know?  He keeps referring to me as though he doesn’t know who I am.  Yet, nothing fits.  It’s all just an impossible jigsaw puzzle.  He knows who I am, I know that.  I was in his block class last year.  I don’t think it’s possible for him to think I am a different person than I was.  My name is on my PE clothes and I’m in French.  Last (we were in school) Friday or so he said that my hair was going gray.  If he knows me enough to insult me, he must know my name.  Last year he stole my inhaler and paid 5$ for the pigpen  he broke.  I’m so confused.  There’s no one I can talk to about this except Emily and I feel uncomfortable calling her.  I’m so confused.   One things for sure – I don’t want to talk about him- hear about him or talk to him until I have reached some conclusion about this whole mess. Man, what a mess, right?

Post image for Thinking of taking up church in the New Year? Need childcare?

Thinking of taking up church in the New Year? Need childcare?

January 4, 2012

First Presbyterian on Broadway in Oakland isn’t for you.  Despite the playground off to the side, they don’t seem quite sure whether childcare is provided. Hilarious, right?

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